Anxiety for years, but now suffering depression and am hyper sensitive

[sm3392]

Hi guys,

This is my first post on the boards. I am 24 years old and am incredibly fragile mentally. This year has been the most worst year of my life in terms of mental health. Nothing bad at all has actually happened, but the feeling of loneliness and depression, being alone- it's just been hard to cope with. Waking up in the morning, long days ahead, yet not actually wanting to go out (or go far). It's like there's no relief.

I feel very hyper sensitive, I almost feel as if my brain is glass and could shatter. It's hard to describe

I have a very strange OCD (I guess it's OCD). I obsess over things...such as tv, film, books or whatever (oddly, it seems to be media related) and it keeps my mind at ease. So for example...a new show coming to netflix, a film being released I want to see. Then, my brain talks me out of wanting anything to do with it, causing me to move onto something else, never leaving me content for very long. Its' incredibly pathetic and frustrating. I have no idea at all what that is all about or even how it started. Maybe born out of loneliness perhaps. I live at home with my mum and I do have friends, one or two, they now work, so seeing them isn't very regular any more.

I have become very emotional too. Particularly nostalgic for things in my past...hearing music I loved as a child, watching movies I loved as a child, maybe yearning for those happier years back. I've no idea.

I feel incredibly low, I do not feel suicidal but I do worry about the future. I am a worrier, I mentally can only take so much and that scares me, it's like even small things are big events for me.

My GP has offered CBT but it didn't work for me. I am willing to have another go but I feel my issues are much more deep rooted.

I wonder if anyone else can identify to this. It's so incredibly hard to describe

[sarsaparilla]

Hello and welcome! :D

I'm 22 and now that I'm on my own I am very nostalgic for things in my past as well. I've been craving my favorite childhood foods. I think I'm just trying to comfort myself and remind myself of a time without the stress of responsibility. I think adulting takes time haha. It's normal to miss good times, especially if right now is challenging. I think everyone in their early twenties finds their footing eventually!

During one of the groups I went to during my hospitalization I learned that trauma can lessen your threshold for stress. People with PTSD are not able to tolerate problems as easily as people without it. I am sensitive and I wait for the straw that's going to break the camels back. Basically, if you've seen some shit in your days, it makes it hard to tolerate any more.

I hope you find relief from the loneliness, depression and sensitivity. What you're going through is only temporary! There is hope

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

Yeah I can definitely relate to what you're saying. That's a pretty good description of depression. I've been reading this book my psych recommended called The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris which might be helpful for you. He starts the book with statistics on depression and says negative feelings are a perfectly normal result of evolution and it's this idea that humans should be happy that actually adds to the misery. It's based on a system called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which my psych prefers to CBT. There's videos on YouTube about it if you're interested (type in "Russ Harris").

Anyway, I think you'll find it helpful here. Plenty of people who understand what you're going through and lots of good advice.

Hang in there,
Gypsy x

[fixmybrokenmind]

I spent two years in a state like this too (much longer with anxiety in general). In this period I always had something "incredibly important" on my mind, I was extremely exhausted and felt incredibly sorry for myself. At least twice a week I would break down into tears I would feel so emotional and sorry for myself (I am a guy). Unfortunately I can't pinpoint what got me out of it but I know for a fact cleaning up my diet, eliminating alcohol, and learning breathing exercises helped a lot. Supplements magnesium, 5htp, and St johns wort also seemed to help me personally.

Honestly just two psychologists visits did me a lot of help as well, definitely beyond what a CBT workbook would do. I am not a fan of GP's but I wont say anything beyond that.

[sm3392]

I spent two years in a state like this too (much longer with anxiety in general). In this period I always had something "incredibly important" on my mind, I was extremely exhausted and felt incredibly sorry for myself. At least twice a week I would break down into tears I would feel so emotional and sorry for myself (I am a guy). Unfortunately I can't pinpoint what got me out of it but I know for a fact cleaning up my diet, eliminating alcohol, and learning breathing exercises helped a lot. Supplements magnesium, 5htp, and St johns wort also seemed to help me personally.

Honestly just two psychologists visits did me a lot of help as well, definitely beyond what a CBT workbook would do. I am not a fan of GP's but I wont say anything beyond that.

I identify with what you wrote. Something always on my mind etc.

And, it's weird for me because I am either much more super sensitive than I realized or because of my current mental state, I take things more inwardly (I think it's the former as I've always been quite an over thinker). For example, it is perfectly normal to be moved by news items on TV etc- there's so many bad things happening that get reported that it's hard not to have some kind of reaction. But this week, two huge stories here in the UK have been reported (one about an MP who was brutally killed, the other about a guy who used a hook-up app to drug and eventually kill four men). These two stories stayed with me for days and I'm still thinking about them. It makes me feel very sad indeed. I reckon if my mind was fine and I was feeling good, it may not bother me as much.

I just feel very sad at times, not always but quite a lot. I am unsure whether this IS depression or something else. I certainly feel isolated that's for sure.

[fixmybrokenmind]

I refuse to watch the news because the media likes to remind us of all the terrible things that go on in this world, without highlighting much of the good. It is depressing and a waste of time.

Take the time you would be spending watching the news and focus on yourself, not the world around you. Do you meditate or exercise?

I recommend taking up productive hobbies and leaving, shows and the news or anything else that makes you emotional behind you for now.

[SarahW1]

Hi
I understand where you are coming from, i reached this stage in my life a few years ago.. Do you work? like, do you have something to focus on a daily basis.
At the age of 24 its not unusual to feel abit lost and not be focused on the right things. Friendship dynamics change, some are settling down, others are travelling across the country (social media high flyers) - remember not everything posted online is a true reflection of people true lives. a lot of it is for show. A pretence to compete with the whole "who has the best life"!

i seeked help with uk's no1 Unconscious Mind Therapist, Robert Hisee. Known as The Hypnotist Man, he is truly amazing.
Unlike no one else in the country, Robert uses a number of techniques to leave you feeling the very best. it is just one session where Robert deals with the process of recovery, rather than the content of the problem. Honestly, i have never felt so good. A couple of years on, i have now opened up my own business, i have a lovely boyfriend. Things could not be better.
do look him up, i know he could help you too :-)

i wish you well