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MrsAbbo
11-06-2016, 05:51 PM
It's been a very VERY long time since I used a forum so forgive me if I'm a little rusty.

I have suffered with severe panic and anxiety for a long time now, mild signs I would say started when I was finishing primary school. High school is when it kicked in big time and now I'm 30.

The main things that kick it off are arguments with people I care about, I know that everyone argues and falls out but the panic takes over me.

For example tonight, I have tried to say something to my husband as a joke. It has either come out wrong - as in the actual words I used were wrong. Or my tone has just been outright bitchy and horrible (which I can do a LOT without noticing) Anyway...whichever way the ground lies it's made him very angry and upset. To the point that he has told me, in not the nicest of ways to leave him the hell alone.

Panic won't let me do that...no no....panic is making me try to talk to him every 15 mins or every half an hour. He is sat with massive headphones on, clearly pissed off, telling me to leave him alone and what am I doing? I'm tapping him on the arm, asking him questions. I apologised as soon as he stormed off but he just said "whatever" I'm dying inside to make it better, to find out what upset him. What I said was meant as a joke and it's clearly not come out as such. By going back and forward trying to get him to talk to me I'm making him more angry and wound up, but I need to make things better. I wasn't trying to upset him, things haven't been great recently and we were making some progress and now I've ruined it all. I can't lose him he's my world.

So I'm sat on the bed, with no one to talk to, trying to calm down and it's not working. It never works. He IS my calm. So when the thing that's making me panic is also the thing that makes me calm what do I do? I'm shaking and I feel horrifically sick. I want to go to him again and ask him to talk to me but I know it will only make him more annoyed and I don't want a fight. I really don't. All I want is to understand what made him flip so badly.

I feel like a horrible person, a horrible wife. I feel lonely, like I'm sinking and no matter what I do I can't get up.

N xx

gypsylee
11-06-2016, 08:31 PM
Hi and welcome :)

I absolutely HATE conflict and I read something once about how that's very common for introverted people because it's so overwhelming to us. My mother loves arguments and she always picks fights with me but I avoid them like the plague because it sends my anxiety through the roof. She gets over it really quickly but I take ages to calm down. It makes perfect sense because it's the "fight" mechanism in action.

Your husband might have had a bad day and you were just the catalyst that set him off. I hope he has calmed down by now!

All the best,
Gypsy x

FoxHound
11-11-2016, 03:27 PM
Sorry for what's happening at the moment. Do you have anyone to talk with? Like a mom or sis?

BlessedBackyard
11-13-2016, 08:21 AM
I wish there was magic advice to make this all better for you both. My husband is my support in all this anxiety drama, and I can't imagine how difficult it would be if I couldn't go to him whenever I needed. Are you seeing a therapist / psychologist? It sounds like that could be helpful if you find the right one. Since it's been a few days, I hope ya'll have been able to move past it. And welcome to the forum!

diaz2121
11-24-2016, 02:52 AM
sorry for that, hope you feeling better

Manekineko
12-05-2016, 09:50 AM
Oh this is so recognizeable! I always have this, 3?3! If I do try to make a point in a little mad way, Just because I feel depressed And I want HIM to see iT! IT never Works, iT only makes iT worse. Untill THE point where I have to scream at HIM to make HIM listen (at least that is what I think). Then I always start crying And first he is mad but then feels bad for me And comes back!