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View Full Version : Defusion of Thoughts - Don't Believe Everything You Think!



gypsylee
11-02-2016, 11:32 PM
Hello fellow anxious people :)

I just remembered something I thought was worth sharing with y'all. I've started reading this book based on something called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I was talking about it in the thread someone posted yesterday about books.

I'm also a huge fan of Claire Weekes and a common denominator in a lot of this self-help stuff (including Mindfulness techniques) is the idea of separating oneself from one's thoughts. The human mind (the ego) loves to think it's the boss of everything and it will do almost anything to try and stay in control.


Anyway, so last night I woke up at 2am and didn't go back to sleep straight away. Sure enough I found myself lying there brooding about certain people in my life. Funny how the mind works and before you know it you're feeling all angry/depressed/anxious. I've talked to my psychiatrist about this and he said it's like some small incident can cause us to start playing "videos" in our head of all the things that person has done and soon we're all worked up and ready to kill the person. But the reality is, that person hasn't even done anything new and you're the one lying there suffering at 3am not them!

I managed to catch myself doing this and remembered what the psych said about the videos. In the book I've been reading he talks about "defusing" thoughts so you let them come but don't get emotionally involved in them. He gives some suggestions on how to do this and one of them is to change the voice in your head (which might be a parent telling you you're not good enough) to a funny voice or to even sing it. So I combined that idea with the video analogy and I imagined the videos sped up with Benny Hill music playing in the background! This particular person has caused me so many dramas with his outrageous behaviour, so I think of him as a bit of a clown, and the Benny Hill music was perfect hahaha. I fell asleep after that whereas maybe I would've ended up all depressed and frustrated if I hadn't "intervened". Another of my favourite sayings is "not my circus, not my monkeys". That and the Benny Hill videos are a very good way of looking at this man's behaviour!

So next time you find yourself thinking about someone or something that upsets you, try adding some funny background music. Anything that "defuses" thoughts of emotion is a good thing for anxious types!

fixmybrokenmind
11-03-2016, 12:36 AM
That's a good idea! I will try it next time I get some ruminating thoughts. I like the idea of making it humorous rather than scary. The brain is insanely powerful you have to learn to trick it to your liking.

Have you read How to stop worrying and start living by Dale carnegie?

gypsylee
11-03-2016, 12:53 AM
No I haven't but I saw you mention that a while ago. I'll check it out.

My biggest problem I think is actually anger rather than fear but it manifests as anxiety because it has nowhere to go. I've thought about taking up kickboxing or something like that to release my aggression but I'm not the most motivated person (aka lazy). Humour is SUCH a useful tool though and the ability to laugh at oneself and others is a great way of putting the "egoic mind" back in its place.

:)

jones27
11-03-2016, 08:19 AM
No I haven't but I saw you mention that a while ago. I'll check it out.

My biggest problem I think is actually anger rather than fear but it manifests as anxiety because it has nowhere to go. I've thought about taking up kickboxing or something like that to release my aggression but I'm not the most motivated person (aka lazy). Humour is SUCH a useful tool though and the ability to laugh at oneself and others is a great way of putting the "egoic mind" back in its place.

:)

This technique is discussed in the book The Worry Trick as well.

The acronym used in the book is AHA. It stands for:

Acknowledge/Accept the worry
Humor the worry
Activity: resume whatever you were doing

I sometimes sing a worry song in my head

Goes

Worry worry in my head do da do da
Better reserve my hospital bed do da do da

gypsylee
11-04-2016, 02:45 AM
Oh god LOL at that song! I'll remember that.

jones27
11-04-2016, 06:14 AM
Oh god LOL at that song! I'll remember that.


Haha!

If you like Claire Weekes you should check out The Worry Trick the doctor who wrote it follows her system but adds new ideas to it.

His,website is anxietycoach.com

Teafrenzy
11-04-2016, 10:19 AM
That's a good idea! I will try it next time I get some ruminating thoughts. I like the idea of making it humorous rather than scary. The brain is insanely powerful you have to learn to trick it to your liking.

Have you read How to stop worrying and start living by Dale carnegie?

I'm reading it, on your recommendation.

I am trying to put the book into practice. Yesterday I noticed an old lady trying to parallel park and having trouble. So I got out of my car and guided her into the parking spot. She then thanked me profusely. I then remember feeling less anxious at least for a while after doing it.

Also last night was the first night I slept through. Went to bed around 2 am (on purpse, I am a night owl) and woke up around 10 am and did not even wake up once. I think it's a good sign of recovery.

I am keeping my eye open for other good deeds. Not only to help oither people but to help myself.

jones27
11-04-2016, 10:39 AM
I'm reading it, on your recommendation.

I am trying to put the book into practice. Yesterday I noticed an old lady trying to parallel park and having trouble. So I got out of my car and guided her into the parking spot. She then thanked me profusely. I then remember feeling less anxious at least for a while after doing it.

Also last night was the first night I slept through. Went to bed around 2 am (on purpse, I am a night owl) and woke up around 10 am and did not even wake up once. I think it's a good sign of recovery.

I am keeping my eye open for other good deeds. Not only to help oither people but to help myself.


Even doing extra house chores can help. When my gf works late I try and have everything done before she gets home. It makes her happy and keeps me busy while alone, which I am still not comfortable with. I always feel good when she comes home and thanks me.