I'm regretting a major life decision that I recently made.

[sorrownomore]

I've always struggled with learning and academics. Despite this, I recently went back to university at the age of 38. I had intentions of studying full-time, but once I got into the groove I realized that it was too much. I'm now only taking 2 courses that I know I can pass. I'm living off of my life savings which isn't much considering I'm in another country and everything is expensive compared to the US.

I've been really anxious as of late, and I keep looking for exits and excuses to give up. I've walked away from many decisions that I've made in life when things get too hard, and I don't know if it's because I'm lazy or just a dimwit who can't learn abstract material.

It's not like I gave up a vibrant career to go back to school. I left a position in a company that was entry-level. I wasn't paid a lot, but I was able to save enough because I lived with my parents for 8 years.

Anyway I can't, for the life of me, stay focused on the present. I'm thinking since I won't be able to get through the mathematics required for my degree, it would probably be best to go back to a mundane position in a company that requires doing repetitive tasks on a daily basis. I mind as well do this before that position becomes automated within the next decade, which many positions that don't require thinking will.

I have a diagnosed learning disability, and I do receive help from my university. I barely meet the requirements for having LD since most people with LD are above average in intelligence. I'm low average at best and probably almost retarded with the new intelligence test that came out that lowers your IQ by 5 points.

I don't know if I should give up on my dream of becoming a teacher, move to a more prosperous part of the country I'm in and stack crap onto pallets in a warehouse until I injure myself and am able to collect disability and be the vegetable that I was destined to be, or maybe go to another university that has more help for idiots like myself, but is more expensive, and get into debt until I die like most westerners.

I'm really down as of late, and I have been procrastinating on the school work for the two courses I have.

[gypsylee]

I don't know if I should give up on my dream of becoming a teacher, move to a more prosperous part of the country I'm in and stack crap onto pallets in a warehouse until I injure myself and am able to collect disability and be the vegetable that I was destined to be, or maybe go to another university that has more help for idiots like myself, but is more expensive, and get into debt until I die like most westerners.

Have you considered comedy? This made me laugh.. I know it's not meant to be funny but I couldn't help it! If it makes you feel better, both my parents were teachers and it's the WORST job lol. I wouldn't recommended you "stack crap onto pallets in a warehouse until I injure myself and am able to collect disability and be the vegetable that I was destined to be" (LOL). Maybe there's something else you could do at uni? I mean there's a "spark" there in your writing which tells me you aren't half as "retarded" as you seem to think.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Dahila]

oh I thought I am being mean to laugh, this is why i had not posted here.
Sorrownomore you are an awesome person........... I hope you overcome the difficulties and get living without being so much down. The way you write, I just had seen you on forklift and stack of pallets

[Teafrenzy]

Ok this is going to sound crazy but I may have a solution for you.

I read that you are not in the USA and life is expensive? Are you in the UK? canada?

How about moving to Eastern Europe or Latin America to teach English?

Sound crazy? Maybe. But hear me out.

I know for certain that they are very actively interested in Native English speakers, at least in smaller cities in the EE. I know because I was living in Poland temporarily for 3 months earlier this year. You do NOT need a teaching certificate. You basically just need to speak English as there is a great demand for native English speakers to practice conversational English.

Your pay won't be great, it will translate to roughly 15-20 dollars per hour before taxes. But keep in mind, there are health benefits. The days where EE had bread lineups are long gone. The medicine there is excellent. Thousands of people take medication for anxiety. You surely won't be alone if this is needed. Also keep in mind that many things cost a lot less than in the USA, for example, cherries cost 50 cents a pound in the summer.

You will gain valuable teaching experience. You can put that on your resume.

This might not be a good idea for people who have traveling anxiety but since you say you live in another country anyways, I think it could be a solution.

[gypsylee]

oh I thought I am being mean to laugh, this is why i had not posted here.
Sorrownomore you are an awesome person........... I hope you overcome the difficulties and get living without being so much down. The way you write, I just had seen you on forklift and stack of pallets

He writes well and that's why we laugh :) That's what I mean by "spark".

My neighbour drives a forklift in a warehouse and he's funny as well.

[Dahila]

So are the guys I worked with. To go to the post above you. Yes teaching English is something you should look into it. I know that in Poland they want English to be known in every office, I know it cause I am from Poland, the fact is I had left the country in 1989 but I keep the tabs on what is happening in there. My son thought about going to different country but in meantime he fall hard for a very cool and smart Canadian girl (I like her a lot)
Like mother like children they too have anxiety...........and he was ready to go.
Teafrenzy where are u in Poland:)?

[Anne1221]

I think you need to write down some of the things you are good at in life and that you enjoy. Are you good with pets? What do you like? I made my brother sit down with me until he finally came up with, "Well, I could work at a grocery store." At least that was a starting point! Start thinking more positively about yourself. I think your anxiety is making you feel like you are less than what you really are. Stand up to that anxiety and start fighting back. On this forum, while reading, I notice every single grammatical error people make. I don't think you made any. That's an exception! You are much smarter than you say you are.

[Teafrenzy]

I was living in Bialystok. Spent a bit of time in Warsaw.

[Dahila]

Thanks Teafrenzy, thats awesome:)

[tirediron]

Don't give up on your dreams, because 38 isn't old. Find part time work to help with your finances, if it's available. Don't overwhelm yourself with too many classes. As others have said, you have a command of English, (better than a lot of my countrymen), and perhaps teaching English somewhere is a possibility. Best of luck!

[sorrownomore]

I am in Canada. I'm actually trying to earn my BA to do this. So you're telling me you don't need a degree? I've heard this before, but I still think it makes one more marketable, career wise, to have one.

[tirediron]

Maybe someone else knows, but I do not. One of my son's had a friend who taught English in Turkey for several years, but he did have a college diploma. I thought I had heard of people teaching a foreign language without a degree depending on how badly their services were needed. If you're teaching someone a language to simply communicate, I don't see why a BA is necessary.

[gypsylee]

On this forum, while reading, I notice every single grammatical error people make. I don't think you made any. That's an exception! You are much smarter than you say you are.

See! We're onto you!