How to find an anxiety friendly first job at 33?

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

I'm 33 years old and have never worked a real job. I have had pretty bad anxiety since around 16 - 17 years old and have always been socially awkward. The last friend I made was in 2nd grade (talk to him once or twice a year still). I took some community college during my senior year of high school which I almost dropped out of from anxiety. After high school I enrolled 15 credit hours at the CC but dropped all but one class after the first day due to my anxiety having gotten even worse over the summer. I had made 3 A's and a B from the CC courses during high school so its not like it was difficult for me intellectually.

I mostly just gave up on everything after that and my anxiety, depression, stress got way worse. I was eventually diagnosed with agoraphobia, major depressive disorder, social anxiety, GAD with low stress tolerance, etc. I eventually got on SSI and medicaid around age 28 or 29. I don't think I ever truly had agoraphobia though it was just that my social anxiety was so bad that I didn't want to leave the house because I would see people outside. Some of the first things I did to get out of the house more were walking on trails and I felt pretty good when there weren't people around me. I continued to try to get out more and started driving to my own appointments, etc. Still live with parents and they do most everything for me though.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. For about a year I have felt somewhat better then I have in 10+ years but am just stuck in a rut of negative thoughts, indecisiveness (analysis paralysis), difficultly motivating myself to get any better or do anymore exposure therapy, etc. I spend most of the day on the computer or laying in bed watching tv but do get out to run or walk, talk to a counselor, occasional eat out with parents, pick up a book at library.

Fast forward to today. I just got back from a vacation with my parents a few days ago which is the first one I have been on since around age 18. It really broke me out of my old routine and I am trying to stay out of it. I try to stay out of my room most of the day and have be going out more. I used to get really anxious just thinking about doing something. Often it would be worse then when I actually did what I was thinking about. Now I try to just do stuff (have had severe anxiety a few times because of putting myself in bad situations though). I plan on trying to go grocery shopping in the next few days (parents do that for me now). I feel like I'm on track to possibly get a job and hopefully eventually have a some sort of life.

Its starting to get cold out now though and I don't do well during the winter (no more running\walking outside which makes up the vast majority of me leaving the house). I feel like if I'm not able to get a job or find something to get out and do during the winter I'm just going to end up back where I was.

Has anyone here ever recovered (even partially) from such a long period of illness and inability to work and ended up getting a job? How did you do it? What would be a good stress free job with minimal to no people I have to deal with?

I got mailed a "ticket to work" by the government about a year ago. Has anyone here tried that and had any success with it?

[Anne1221]

You could start off with volunteer work and see how you do. I don't know about "ticket to work" but you should be able to read up on it. I would say start off with part-time work. Find something you enjoy, or sort of enjoy. Do you like kids, pets, older people, office work, etc?

[Anne1221]

I am going to encourage you to try to work. It gets easier every single day you do it and you will be so proud of yourself.
Like one poster said her father told her, "Be afraid but do it anyway."

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

You could start off with volunteer work and see how you do. I don't know about "ticket to work" but you should be able to read up on it. I would say start off with part-time work. Find something you enjoy, or sort of enjoy. Do you like kids, pets, older people, office work, etc?

Ya I definitely would start with part-time not full time. Ideally something with a very flexible schedule if possible. I'm not even sure where to start looking though.

As for finding something I enjoy that will be difficult as I don't really enjoy much of anything. With my social anxiety being where my anxiety issues started I really don't want to have to interact with anyone much. Maybe a few coworkers I could handle but not random customers or whatever.

I think the best I could hope for is a job I can tolerate and then trying to find something to enjoy with the money I make. Then again being the constantly thinking person I am I would probably save every penny and focus on investing it and never have fun. I would like to move south one day and avoid the hellish cold winters here. I could try to save up for that I guess although I'm a long way from being able to move away right now with my issues.

Some sort of office work could possibly work but I don't know if even mcdonalds let alone some semiprofessional company would hire a 33 year old with no work experience. I have also thought some kind of overnight stocking shelves or working in back unloading trucks could possibly work for me. Something easy where I can't really make a mistake would be a good job for my anxiety (but also boring and I would hate it).

Thanks for the reply and the encouragement.

[lolfeg123]

This is an interesting post. Keep us updated on how you go. Are you still on SSRI inhibitors?

[fixmybrokenmind]

I can't say I have a specific job in mind but I encourage you to work. I spent two months at home on Employment insurance and my mood and anxiety were down significantly. I didnt feel a reason to get out of bed it was horrible.

[BlessedBackyard]

My first thought was what Anne1221 said. Maybe start with volunteer work. It could include flexible hours, a limited time frame so you don't feel stuck at a job you hate, more options since you're not competing with so many others to get hired, and it'll be some experience to put on a resume. I volunteered at a hospice once, and it involved a few days of filing work. Boring as all get out, but doable for a few days and I rarely saw anyone. You could call or email some nonprofits to see if they need office work done (letter stuffing, filing, etc.), offer to sort food at a food bank, or help out at an animal shelter.

For part-time work, overnight stocking of shelves sounds like a good fit for now. Though, getting enough sleep at the right time can be a big part of managing anxiety, and night shifts would mess that up, so I guess there's pros and cons to all of it.

I hope you find something that continues to get you out of the house this winter!

[Anne1221]

Hey...first of all, DO make it a goal of yours to get out of that cold weather and come join us in the south! I live in Atlanta but would prefer Florida (more sun and ever warmer). I was trying to help my brother find a job (age 55 and out of work for a year!) and we discovered Good Will has a career center and people come there to them to the hiring events and look for people who are having a hard time and give them jobs. Find a Good will Center and start there. Here's what we've been looking at: http://goodwillng.org/Get-Training/Calendar.aspx.

[Teafrenzy]

I also agree volunteer work is a great place to start. At least you can get a reference.

On the wink wink, if your boss is nice he can write you a reference letter and exaggerate your skills and experience.

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

I also agree volunteer work is a great place to start. At least you can get a reference.

On the wink wink, if your boss is nice he can write you a reference letter and exaggerate your skills and experience.

Ya my counselor tells me to try volunteering too. The problem is along with my anxiety and depression I have severe motivational problems. My thinking is that if I can volunteer I can work and why work for free. Also just adjusting to new situations, people, places is very anxiety provoking for me. I figure if i'm going to put myself through it it should be for something financially productive that I plan on doing for awhile. Hopefully after a week or two somewhere I will sort of adjust to it and have lower anxiety.

I tried contacting a company that works with the ticket to work program to see what it is they do exactly and if they can help me a few days ago but haven't heard back from them yet :(. I read a lot of good stuff on government websites about how they can help you get a good paying job and this and that but can only find one company close by that's even in it. Ill have to spend a few hours researching it at some point if they don't email me back I guess.

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

This is an interesting post. Keep us updated on how you go. Are you still on SSRI inhibitors?

I wrote a response to this and lost it somehow :|. Short version - quit ssri's in about 2007 after continually getting worse starting with just mild anxiety. Tried again (viibryd) for a few weeks while not even depressed in 2013. Suicidal within a week. Went off that after about 2 weeks and eventually started feeling a little better. I occasionally take clonazepam now but am almost out and don't have a psychiatrist (hard to find any that take medicaid and they have all been terrible compared to who I used to see when I had money to pay out of pocket).

The entire time I was feeling worse and worse I was on SSRI's. I quit them and didn't feel any worse but was really bad off for a few years. Once I started seeing a counselor and trying to get out more I have very slowly started to feel better. I'm still very far from feeling normal at all though but I'm not in complete hell anymore. When I say I feel "better" or "good" its really just comparing to when I was at my worst. Compared to most people I would say I'm still very unwell. Progress is progress though and as long as I keep feeling better maybe someday I will feel well.

[lolfeg123]

I see. It's good to hear that you have come off ssrii inhibitors. That must have been a rough time. I think it's really important to keep yourself busy through some form of interaction with others, just as you are doing with this forum. The interaction also doesn't have to be confined to the workplace environment; I'm sure that there are many welcoming clubs that you can join in your local area.

My anxiety becomes really awful sometimes especially when there are external things pressuring me. At one point I have not slept for 3-4 days because of this, which has caused all sorts of problems that I have never had before. I'm sure however that your base stress is high at the moment and can be lowered through facing your problems head on as you are now planning on doing. Good luck

[Kirk]

I believe work will keep your mind occupied, give you a sense of accomplishment, a sense of independence and allow you to enjoy your life to a larger extent.

[Ponder]

You don't need a J-O-B to give you a sense of accomplishment, a sense of independence and allow you to enjoy your life to a larger extent.

Don't think of it as "WORK" It's such a dirty word these days. Couch cough ... J-O-B ... allow me to clear my throat. It's such a judgmental concept in a society that competes and breeds the addictions/conditions that leads to forums like these.

My kids - having also stemmed from such a toxic branch are always left feeling inadaquet/incomplete going from J-O-B to J-O-B. Today's world has little time to teach, yet makes a fortune selling off educational programs that actually do little to inform. Those the make it out the other side that meet the prerequisites and are finally chosen to fit some kind of "TASK" will of course pick up the torch and claim to speak for those of us deemed "ill-equipped" LMFAO @ that one.

Hence - this is where our friends on ignore come from. Smiles @ such a thought. Hello my little pretty. ;)

Truly ... If it's distraction one is looking for ... a J-O-B is not the only answer, although the elites will only acknowledge such. You can keep busy without such oppressive means to seek an end. In fact ... work as it is today knowns no end! One just becomes an autonomous drone with it's only purpose to spin the economic wheel. However - if your lucky and your able to land yourself a spot ... then for sure ... a J-O-B can alleviate your condition just as pharmaceuticals can ease someones pain. Just be careful of how the need is created ... and that you don't end up feeling incomplete because the need to find relaxing job only seem to highlight your predisposition.

Not something the lucky ones want to hear ... but is indeed worth mentioning.

Having said all of that ... good luck with the job hunting. All the best.

[Kirk]

A very poor and ignorant response, but no real surprise on this end.

[Kirk]

Try to get a job you enjoy. Most people work unless they are mentally or physically ill or rich.
Money does not buy happiness, but it allows you to enjoy your life more. No one said work would be
easy, but for most of us it is necessary.

[Kirk]

Where does some of this advice come from? It is very negative and counter productive. You need encouragement,
not a Debbie Downer. This type of advice comes from a person who has no ambition. sense of accomplishment
or drive. Probably a user and not a doer. We should have pity on him that he is that way.

[gypsylee]

Kirk, you realise you can add stuff to a post using "edit"?

This thread seems to have been derailed a bit. My apologies to the OP on behalf of the offenders :)

[Ponder]

Would you actually like to discus what I have previously said Kirk ... or shall you continue on with your board of director corrections? Tisc Tisc.

Please do allow me to speak for myself. Thank You gypsy. :)

Any offense taken says more about those who perceive. My response is undoubtedly NOT aimed at the OP. More so to that which had a fit with the post button. Ratatatat. LOL @ the mention of edit option. Well said. I learned that one long ago.

Nothing wrong with keeping the comments real. That's my contribution. I wonder it you can let it go or if you'll drag it on and create that heavy vibe of which you speak? If so please do try a response that touches on what is acrtually said rather than your typical character assassination. I at least focus on some other point whilst taring my brush.

"Not something the blessed ones want to hear ... but is indeed worth mentioning." Clearly directed at Captain Kirk. WannaB MD and all others who fly such ideals.oo

"Having said all of that ... good luck with the job hunting. All the best." Clearly I have no ill will towards the OP. Point made ... moved on ... but flag flyers will continue to wave.

Very srry Mr/Miss/Mrs OP ... sometimes I just can't help it when I hear BS.

So in light of the fact I do not require others to do my talking and can very well speak for myself:

I'll Once more say:
.... Having said all that ... Good luck with the job hunting. All the best.

EDIT
With regard to My Lack of Ambition:

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/the-motivational-generator.67099/

http://www.photoforum.com.au/showthread.php?76915-Dave-s-Photos

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?24817-WARNING-Content-gt-Raw-Emotion-My-head-space-and-Check-List&highlight=Warning+content

https://www.flickr.com/gp/71988794@N08/4Hq51s

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34946-Dave-s-Space

http://www.keyboardforums.com/threads/keyboard-for-musically-challenged-individual.27378

http://www.thepoetryforum.co.uk/showthread.php?73291-Between-the-Sun-amp-I

Last but not least (in this unfinished list)

My Volunteer Work To Help those at risk of homelessness: → News Story (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_cWVPWOKA8) I was interviewed on.

I am please to say that peerhaps is still going strong: (We may not run out of the building and get paid - but we have helped quite a few people now and still doing so in the background; while inter agencies squabble over where their next $ is coming from - such is their ambition)
https://www.facebook.com/peerhapsQLD/
http://www.peerhaps.org.au/ (http://www.peerhaps.or.au)
Everyone thought we would burn and crash ... :) ... Is a testament to our strength that we are still going and doing it for free with no help from anyone but ourselves.

... that's just scratching the surface Kirk. The difference between you and me, is one of us is real, the other ... well ... I'll just let you speak for yourself.
_______________________________

I am srry OP ... but when Kirk continually attacks my Character without addressing the issues I attempt to raise ... I feel compelled to stand my ground. You see ... I am not someone without ambition. I know what I am talking about. I am not perfect, but I am very much real and for the most part, my intent is real.

Finding a stress free Job will never happen when you see work as a J-O-B ... that is all I was trying to say. I am deeply srry for taking up your space. I truly wish you all the best.

[gypsylee]

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.”

― David W. Orr, Ecological Literacy: Educating Our Children for a Sustainable World


“We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.”

― R. Buckminster Fuller

[Ponder]

I struggle with the term moral courage as it often leads to some form of judgement and rather than going back to school, I think we would do better to teach ourselves. Change the teachers, teaching methods and be rid of the term professionals. Whilst the young are impressionable I think the sickness is systemic on both fronts of age and gender ... and lastly ... peacemakers and healers come in all forms of pleasantries ... as they often bare the truth which sometime is not always so easy to read.

- David Kynaston - AKA Ponder AF

Despite my view I glean much from what you have posted. Note the call for peacemakers and healers; yet the call to fight. :) Tis a conflict & Irony - but I see it's intent is aimed in the same spirit one calls upon the courage to know the difference ... a spin that's helped many addicts. Many who thrive without the need to fit in - such a contrast to the constant profiling in order to compete, define and categorize. 24/7 & out of sync - is why such ideals require meds. la la la ...

The News and Media over here constantly threaten people with EARN OR LEARN! Otherwise they cut a persons ability to eat and breath. Not exactly "encouraging."

In that light ... those above quotes work well for me. :)

[Kirk]

Whether you like it or not, most people have to work to survive in this world. Although it may be difficult. you should try to maintain a positive attitude about work as it will make your life a lot easier. A certain member on this board attacks others when you don't agree with him. He is like the bully on the playground in school. It is best to ignore him, as much of what he says is gibberish and if you notice, he talks about himself quite a bit. After being in the business world for 38 years and having my own business for around 15 years, I can give you advice based on my experience and my experience working with others. Get advice from career and or job counselors. Ask for advice from people you know and trust. Be positive and always give it your best effort. Don't be too hard on yourself as none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. Try to network with others. Maybe join a group, Linked in, etc. Try to be social, as you can meet contacts that way. Remember, you can't quit and you can do it.

[Ponder]

Just clarify my meaning on BS and spread more of the truth → Here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZAC0PGCQ-k) (requires an open mind)

Other than that, I will offer my sincere apologies to Gypsy. You are extremely intelligent and I very much appreciate your tact. Basically despite not always being on the same page - (I will say mostly from my point of view) I respect you very much.

Thanks for your input Kirk ... Investing in the past will do little to uncover the truth. People do Not have to WORK to "get by" in this world. That is an utter lie. I don't just talk about myself - I stand by who I am, I make myself vulnerable and in doing so give meaning to what I share; that's is what I do. Something that those who think they are in control and have worked "so hard" do not like seeing others do. They cling to the past and unwilling to change.

It's all in the above vid. ;)

I recommend the OP watch it too.

[Kirk]

Let me give you a little background about myself. I grew up pretty poor in Baltimore. My father had a crummy job and sometimes 2 jobs to make it for my sister, myself and my mother. My mother did not work as I believe she had some form of mental ilness.
My father came here from Poland prior to WWII, with his father to Ellis Island. My father never graduated high school. Most of his family were victims in Europe and all passed during WWII. I grew up never going on vacation, never eating out, etc. We all played around the neighborhood. My father once told me, to not end up like him and to try to make something out of your life. I always had an excellent work ethic. I worked as that is what I was brought up to do. My wife is also a worker. We tried and have instllled that
work ethic in our daughter and so far she is OK. I am sorry if I get on you Dave for some of the things you say, as they really make little to no sense to me. You are probably an OK person and I will make an effort to be more civil to you if you do the same to me.

[Dahila]

Gypsy, did you read my mind? Yes and yes to gypsy post. This is exactly what I wanted to post but without the beautiful sentences and words.
Kirk is typical "american dream" however many people here think I do not have a stable and 'fulfilling" job..........Making tons of money that not what my work is about. It is about my passion and help I provide to people, Even I have business it does bring marginal profit.
JObs to make you a better person, fulfilled , FREEEEEEEE OF ANXIETY, there are jobs like that. No jobs like that. My company merged with another American asshole, who have the money to buy everything, and laid off a few people, "non essential" stuff, I was stressed like hell, going to work. I could not sleep even one would say I had easy job. Daily jobs are the worst thing for us. We have to work to have money to pay for bills , F**** that.. I wonder if it is possible to live off the grid and awful system which will make you a slave............
I think our KIrk should look closely what is happening with 'american dream' and who he is voting, poor guy he have not choice no influence on what is happening in his country. I am disgusted with all that......If I was you i would be nice to people and try the theories keep to yourself.

The OP can lead beautiful life without everyday job. The most important is his soul, his calm mind and his health. He is anxious and do not need a bunch of assholes to move him around in some menial job. Jobs , the good jobs are for people with connections.
I came back to say that your last Post Kirk made, make sense and it is very good advice for OP. Let's focus on him not on us

Gypsy you are awesome, and it is difficult not to admire you, knowing your daily struggle :)

[Kirk]

It is very difficult, if not impossible to live not working a regular job. Things in the USA are expensive, unless you want to go on subsidies, which
are not the best, so you may end up liking your life quite a bit less when compared to working.

[Kirk]

I also realize I can edit posts, but I feel I can make my point better if I do multiple posts. I still don't agree with the notion of not working a job.
In order to do the things you need to survive and thrive, you need money, no bones about it.

[Ponder]

None of what is said goes to waste. The topic of finding a stress fee job is still at hand.

It is sad that we define a job as good or bad due to how much money it makes. Such a value system is projected upon both the working and those that do not. It's projected in every class/room. The first thing we do when greeting another, is ask “what do you do?” Money, Status, and all likewise investments – our accounts, savings and all our collections – Our profile, history, records are all kept and used to define and place a value upon our worth.

So it is that when people greet each other, no one is really interested in knowing who the other really is. People respond more like accountants defining who they be with a long list that looks more like a recite where in the end both parties end up with some kind of debt. This business of being is transacted under some kind of moral high ground that could not be further from the truth. Morality is as twisted as is this concept we call Work.

Yes – many people who do not work are prone to mental illness, (is it any wonder when we greet & judge the way we do?) truth be told, there are as many unstable people who grind the mill as there are that do not. Moral Ethics? intertwined in this system of judgement. We automatically think people to be ill simply because they are not working? It is how we are taught – educated – indoctrinated. “Get good grades now, otherwise you'll be found wanting.” Fear is embedded into us from an early age. The fact remains that no matter what job you get - “want” is the very quality that our society projects. It thrives on it like the food industries thrives on addicts and the health industry does on the sick.
______________________________________

HOWEVER – there is hope. - I am not a Debby Downer – (Hi Deb, hope this finds you well :) ) Let go of all that BS we have been taught, sold & fed. Redefine all those terms that only serve to place value on your self. The truth is, we live in an abundant world where the few ensure the rest are not fed, where they are restricted and bound ... where they are easily led. Research Scarcity. Alas … back to the hope. Learn to live on less!!!

Man ... that there really is the answer. Seriously - Just start by eating less. I know that sounds crazy - but what happens when you start doing that, is that your not allowing the system to poison who on a level where you have a choice. (That's the first empowering step you can take ... the first step towards you own freedom no matter where on the BS ladder one thinks he or she stands) Our world is so sick that our food is not food any more. That's not a conspiracy, that's a fact. Watching what you eat, will help the way you think. Changing the way you think will help you watch what you eat. NOW here is the real kicker - Those who don't " work" or have a J-O-B are limited to choice ... so we are led to believe! The latter being the keys to handcuffs that keep us believing limited beliefs.

Once you no longer care for the number of the rung, or some place higher on the ladder ... once you learn to settle for less, Fear no longer takes grips the way the system wants. However just as with their drugs ... there is a side affect when we start to awake ... others further up do not like such enlightenment - they will quickly glance your way and the judgements will come. Pay them no attention! Once you learn to live with yourself and realize we don't need anywhere near - all that crap we are taught we need - things fall into place and it becomes easier to breath. Life really is too short and the pain and suffering most of us endure is projected rather than some kind of natural thing. We don't NEED anything other than what already resides in ourselves. This whole focus on having to fit in, is as toxic as our degrading food. People naturally gravitate towards each other once they take up the practice of no longer eating the shit and allowing oneself to take on all that projected BS.
____________________________________

I have plenty of JOBs and give myself enough to do that is conducive to my health. I can think of no better contribution to this world. Yet I remain unemployed ... whilst pensioned off and whilst my scars run deep ... I choose to live as I do. That there is the difference. However I care less for the conundrum of determinism and or choice. I leave that to all the scholars and those that cling to their investments as they do. I do like to contemplate, yet that too can be full of *&^T

Happiness is overrated as too the pursuit of constant comfort. Nothing wrong in tending towards the path of least resistance. That's a natural state of being, however this ideal of pursuit as taught is designed to leave all in want no matter what J-O-Beeee or whatever place/Sate one finds themselves in. Alas there is HOPE ... learning to live on less will bring abundance no matter ones position. As this world currently is ... the less you take in, the less toxic you will be.

Living like so will ensure you will find those that count. You don't NEED anything more than what's already within. That goes for every human being.

[gypsylee]

Gypsy, did you read my mind? Yes and yes to gypsy post. This is exactly what I wanted to post but without the beautiful sentences and words.
Kirk is typical "american dream" however many people here think I do not have a stable and 'fulfilling" job..........Making tons of money that not what my work is about. It is about my passion and help I provide to people, Even I have business it does bring marginal profit.
JObs to make you a better person, fulfilled , FREEEEEEEE OF ANXIETY, there are jobs like that. No jobs like that. My company merged with another American asshole, who have the money to buy everything, and laid off a few people, "non essential" stuff, I was stressed like hell, going to work. I could not sleep even one would say I had easy job. Daily jobs are the worst thing for us. We have to work to have money to pay for bills , F**** that.. I wonder if it is possible to live off the grid and awful system which will make you a slave............
I think our KIrk should look closely what is happening with 'american dream' and who he is voting, poor guy he have not choice no influence on what is happening in his country. I am disgusted with all that......If I was you i would be nice to people and try the theories keep to yourself.

The OP can lead beautiful life without everyday job. The most important is his soul, his calm mind and his health. He is anxious and do not need a bunch of assholes to move him around in some menial job. Jobs , the good jobs are for people with connections.
I came back to say that your last Post Kirk made, make sense and it is very good advice for OP. Let's focus on him not on us

Gypsy you are awesome, and it is difficult not to admire you, knowing your daily struggle :)

Thanks Dahila :)

I'm lucky in that I get a pension (disability) but I have worked and I mean I was a "working girl". I made more money in an hour than many people make in a day. Everyone's some kind of whore under a capitalist/consumerist society unless you're the 1%. I used to work in Marketing (I have a degree in it) and the way the bosses treated me I felt like I may as well make ten times the amount by becoming the real deal.

I get that you need money to survive but we need to start thinking outside the square and stop being slaves for corporations. Stop getting into debt because that's how they own you. I don't even have a credit card or a phone plan. Finance companies hate me and refer to me as a "cash person". I bought my car with (actual) cash and pretty much own my house (which is tiny).

There are so many ways to think and live outside the box. You don't have to drop out of society and live like a feral either. Just be smart and don't get so worn down by it all that you adopt the slave mentality (which is the problem I see).

My neighbour works a "regular" job and apparently the finance companies are THROWING credit at him. The guy works a shitty job all week, comes home in his shitty car to his shitty house and drinks all weekend. It'd be pretty tempting to see $20K on your credit card and buy a shiny new car. Cars are pretty much the worst investment ever and are more of a liability than an asset on paper.. They lose value the second you drive out of the showroom. But I can see how a guy like my neighbour thinks "what the hell" and goes out on a Saturday and buys himself a nice new car. I almost bought a car on finance but they rejected me lol. Something like 75% of cars on the road are under finance.

The other thing I see is people spending money on useless crap. They work all week then let off steam by going to the mall and having "retail therapy" (this is more a female thing obviously). They buy clothes and shoes and stuff for their house that makes them feel good for around half an hour. Then it sits in their wardrobe until they need more space and throw it out. People love telling you how they saved $x on something and I think "you could have saved the whole lot if you didn't buy it in the first place."

Anyway, there are some examples of thinking outside the capitalist/consumerist box and how people get sucked into it. I haven't even mentioned the environment and how this system is completely unsustainable. So if we don't start thinking outside the box we'll be counting our money underwater (and the situation is way more dire than most realise).

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Kirk]

Here in Baltimore they have financing rates at less than 1%, so it would pay to finance and not pay cash as you have the use of cheap money.
Each situation needs to be looked at differently as their can be many variables for any large purchase.

[gypsylee]

That's probably true but being a "cash person" is a way of life ;)

I buy everything pre-paid even though I could probably save some money on a plan, but I'm "allergic" to plans. I do pay private hospital insurance every fortnight ever since I saw my mum in the public system but it's a LOT of money and I wonder if it's worth it..

[Dahila]

Gypsy this was such satisfaction to read it. Imagine I am not average Canadian who pays 80 cents from each dollar earned to credit cards. I do not drive shiny car too. I drive Kia spectra 2007 (not to say that i had not spend anything on this car beside new battery)
I do not own even a dollar to any cards. When I can not pay cash I do not buy. Our house is paid off, and credit cards company do not like me either.
I used weekend retail therapy too, so now I have enough of clothes to last me two lifetimes. No buying new ones, beside the cheapest t-shirts. My business, is free of any loans forget it, i go small and do not own anything. i started it with my own money. Not career counsellor and not busyness plan.
Cooperation; I was a part of that for more than 20 years , forget it, I am living on less, a lot of veggies grow in my garden and I make food from scratch.......... no spending so much money in grocery stores either, ..........yeah give them har time
Lately I am pretty satisfied with my life, I am happy. I have an awesome place to live, nice customers who come back for more, respecting people wishes, and fill up orders. What the person would want beside that, oh i had my grandchild for sleep over with here cute dog. Got kiss and hug from my daughter and her man..........I have everything I had ever wanted ;)
all this makes my anxiety manageable

The thing which pisses me most is the waste , tons of food that grocery stores throw out everyday, when so many people live on the streets and do not have enough......

[gypsylee]

That's awesome Dahila :)

I'm getting to the stage where I'm content with what I have as well and I don't go buying new clothes much anymore. The thing I like buying most now is plants!

Once my daughter is independent (you know that drama!) I'd like to work as some kind of therapist. I'd almost do that for nothing because I love helping people so much with anxiety/depression.

[Ponder]

Also much appreciated reading this end too. I have learned how to make a $$$ by not holding onto my things ... easy come, easy go. I try to see my things as nothing more than tools. The ideal of ownership does not work for me. At any rate ... reading you guys ... you seem know what your doing to keep your heads above water. Other than recycling my "THINGS/TOOLS" my wife and I own nothing - you know the story with how often we move. Is what it is - I don't see such as a handicap ... can be a little tough at time ... but we make do. Yes ... all the rest is spent on FOOD ... but we see that as a priority and don't mind not having any change when checking out. As long as we can always pay our rent and keep the cooler on for Lisa's MS. We find Automatic payments good for the essentials like rent and power. Once again ... eating less allows us to afford more of the "real"food. :)

PS - you do a good job with helping people as you say Gypsy.

[gypsylee]

Thanks Ponder :)

[Kirk]

In the USA, medical bills are a cause of debt and bankruptcy.

[gypsylee]

In the USA, medical bills are a cause of debt and bankruptcy.

I know.. That's terrible for a so-called "first world" country. I have quite a few Facebook friends in the US and one guy needed his gall bladder removed but he didn't have a job so he just had to suffer (and that's some serious pain)! My mother had a double hip replacement last year and it didn't cost her a cent. So even though I was pretty appalled by the public system, once they worked out what was wrong they were extremely efficient and as I say, money didn't enter into it.

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

My anxiety becomes really awful sometimes especially when there are external things pressuring me. At one point I have not slept for 3-4 days because of this, which has caused all sorts of problems that I have never had before. I'm sure however that your base stress is high at the moment and can be lowered through facing your problems head on as you are now planning on doing. Good luck
I have had the same problem not being able to sleep before for several days. I ended up beginning to hallucinate and went to the ER where they gave me benzos in a IV and after that I saw my first physiatrist.


You don't need a J-O-B to give you a sense of accomplishment, a sense of independence and allow you to enjoy your life to a larger extent.
I agree 100% with this but as kirk said I do need money to live. I really don't like the idea of work (even excluding the anxiety) but it seems like the best option for me out of a bunch of bad ones if my anxiety will allow it.

If I moved out of my parents while staying on SSI (or wait til they die) I will have to live in a used car if I'm lucky enough to find one I can afford. It would be very difficult to afford an apartment even if I applied for and got every food stamp and government aid I qualify for. I don't think of myself as a brainwashed average consumer but I do feel the need for some basic housing, electricity, internet, plumbing, etc even though technically its not absolutely needed to survive.

If I made 100k a year I would probably live a very similar lifestyle then if I made 20k a year (maybe a few nicer things here and there). I would just save more money and quit working sooner. It is crazy to me how the more money people make the bigger house and nicer car they need. They just give it all back and work forever, often in debt even.


“We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.”

― R. Buckminster Fuller
Nice quote and its so true. Think of all the products advertised on tv to create a market to sell all this shit that's created because most of it's useless and unwanted without psychological trickery. Scientific research fraud to sell most supplements and even alot of the drugs now. How much less work would there be without all this?

The flaws of our economy are only getting more and more obvious as the exponential advancement of information technology continues and spreads to other fields.

In 5 years there will probably be no more taxi and truck drivers due to machine vision and artificial intelligence.

Additive manufacturing, AI, and robotics will kill off most of whats left of the manufacturing industry in this country and the rest of the world not much later. There's several companies in China already prototyping 3d printing houses and this technology is advancing rapidly. GE spent $1.4 billion to buy up a few 3d printing companies not too long ago.

Voice recognition, AI, robotics will kill off almost the entire service industry.

In a few decades or less we are going to live in a world where nothing but land, materials and intellectual property have any value under the current economic system. Labor will be worthless. Do we really have to wait until it gets to that point before we replace this broken system?


Whether you like it or not, most people have to work to survive in this world. Although it may be difficult. you should try to maintain a positive attitude about work as it will make your life a lot easier. A certain member on this board attacks others when you don't agree with him. He is like the bully on the playground in school. It is best to ignore him, as much of what he says is gibberish and if you notice, he talks about himself quite a bit. After being in the business world for 38 years and having my own business for around 15 years, I can give you advice based on my experience and my experience working with others. Get advice from career and or job counselors. Ask for advice from people you know and trust. Be positive and always give it your best effort. Don't be too hard on yourself as none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. Try to network with others. Maybe join a group, Linked in, etc. Try to be social, as you can meet contacts that way. Remember, you can't quit and you can do it.
Thanks for the encouragement. I have found out that each state has a "vocational rehabilitation" service that I qualify for with my "ticket to work". I will probably try to get a meeting with them in the next week or 2 and see what they can do for me.

From what I have read they can in some cases help pay or even outright pay to educate or train you for a "good paying job". I'm not sure what their definition of good paying is but I'm sure its better then what I could try to get now.

As for networking with others that's very difficult considering my anxiety problems all started with social anxiety and its still the worst anxiety I get. At this point just tolerating being around other people (like at a job) seems to be a high enough goal. Having an answer to the question "what do you do?, where do you work?" in the rare occasions someone tries to conversate with me other then "nothing" will be nice even if its a shit job.


The OP can lead beautiful life without everyday job. The most important is his soul, his calm mind and his health. He is anxious and do not need a bunch of assholes to move him around in some menial job. Jobs , the good jobs are for people with connections.
Ya. I have read many times how studies find intelligence and income are not that highly correlated while social skills\intelligence and income are. I do feel I need some kind of job though so long as it doesn't exacerbate my anxiety over the long term or to an intolerable level over the short term. I can always just quit and go back to where I am now if it doesn't feel right for me.


It is very difficult, if not impossible to live not working a regular job. Things in the USA are expensive, unless you want to go on subsidies, which
are not the best, so you may end up liking your life quite a bit less when compared to working.
Ya. I'm on SSI which is a monthly payment similar to disability but for people who haven't work long enough to get SSDI. Every year you have to fill out a bunch of paperwork to stay on medicaid and every other year or so for SSI which always stresses me out.

You also are not allowed to have over $1000 in assets for medicaid or $2000 for SSI which basically traps you in the system forever without getting off it with a job. Also any money people give you to help you basically gets taken out of your payment if you report it and you can go to jail if you don't. And of course if you work you don't get anything anymore after a certain amount of income and\or time passes.

Its really a poorly thought out system that creates little to no motivation to work and so much waste for all these workers, doctors and investigators to make sure you follow these requirements, qualifications and rules. I hope the US will move to a universal basic income one day and get rid of social security and welfare programs.


I get that you need money to survive but we need to start thinking outside the square and stop being slaves for corporations. Stop getting into debt because that's how they own you. I don't even have a credit card or a phone plan. Finance companies hate me and refer to me as a "cash person". I bought my car with (actual) cash and pretty much own my house (which is tiny).

There are so many ways to think and live outside the box. You don't have to drop out of society and live like a feral either. Just be smart and don't get so worn down by it all that you adopt the slave mentality (which is the problem I see).
I don't think I will ever have a problem with overspending as I sure your attitude towards it. Any suggestions on how to earn money without being a corporate slave though?

I might be smart enough to start my own business but it would be way to much to worry about for me, not to mention being terrible\anxious with other people which I would need to make money for me ideally (become the slave master), and\or for startup funding.

Doing almost anything can cause me anxiety including just reading these comments and responding after a few days of inactivity (very mild anxiety in this case but it would be 100x worse running a company). Maybe if I'm able to work awhile and get used to being around other people I could start a business one day but it seems impossible right now.

[Dahila]

dontcarewhatusernameis; fantastic post with so many valid points. Losing jobs to technology is not science fiction anymore. It is a fact. I am like you do not understand why people need huge houses, with so many rooms. I live in huge house for me, with my hubby it is 1580 sf and I could do with smaller one.
Work, my anxiety was so bad when i was working, due my heavy accent no one looked at my education (finished college here with award for academic achievement) no one looked at my skills, and I have a lot of skils.
When cooperation got hold of company I was working for the last 9 years. They laid off all "non essential stuff" well f**** them
I registered a business and I am working for myself, it is small and i hope it helps me to survive till retirement. It is one person business and it is not going to be more. From the moment i stopped working, my anxiety went down so much. I am surprised by it. I had never considered stopping work. yeah what about bills.............
I had not drug benefit no benefits at all but I said "I would rather die than go back to system" I was in system for two years...............I hope I can do work for myself a bit longer;))

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

If you don't mind me asking Dahila what kind of work do you do as a one person business?

[Dahila]

No I do not mind, I am soapmaker and cosmetic crafter, I also make some art which I sell in huge market and online. Does not bring a lot of income but it helps me so much to deal with my anxiety..;)
I am also a herbalist and grow my herbs then make extracts, salves, and a lot more:))
I finished fine art school in Europe so designing cool labels comes easy , and that is important :)

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

Cool, seems like a pretty anxiety free job. Its nice you were able to find something you enjoy doing.

[gypsylee]

Hey, well your post generated a good discussion at least :) I believe these things generate "energy" so keep an eye out for opportunities.

I know it's really hard to make any money without being some kind of "corporate slave" and you might have to do that for a while. If I was pressed to get a "regular" job I'd definitely be looking at night shift stuff - most people don't want to do it or can't because of family, so it often pays more. I feel much more "at home" during the night though and can happily sleep during the day.

:)

[Dahila]

dontcarewhatusernameis, I have many passions, that one is just one of them. I stopped breeding dogs, after my beautiful female died on pancreas cancer. She was the top of my breeding program. Dogs and horses is my life long passion. Actually every dog is trainable and I am the one who know how to do it. Then I paint, not so much lately. the small business helps me with not only money but with the rest. I am pretty good in what I do, The only anxiety is when my lotion fail which happen when I am not careful, I am in such good shape that somehow I enjoy my days (Saturday) on market and selling it, My customer base grows with every Saturday :))
OP should look what he can do at the moment, even the smallest business brings not only money but incredible satisfaction :)

[Teafrenzy]

I am also out of work. It wasn't anxiety related but I got laid off from my job in Feb 2015.

I have a very small business buying and reselling items online. I only get about 200-300 dollars a week but it keeps me occupied and provides a little bit of money. I have some investments that provide about 500 a month in income.

I am also thinking of driving for Uber again. I did it briefly last year. I found it wasn't that financially rewarding. But now I could use whatever extra money I can find.

It's strange, but 2 things I do find relaxing are driving and talking with people. I used to be embarressed about my PTSD but now I talk about it all the time, with just about everyone and I don't care what they think about me. I'd say 80% of the responses have been positive.

[Dahila]

yes it is, I do the same, no hiding with anxiety anymore........... I found driving, without any goal is highly satisfying, I love driving, and driving calms me down.......probably beacuse my mind is occupied with it. Buying and selling as good as being a lawyer,
No amount of money can erase the suffering cooperation spread on people, What young student suppose to do, they end up with a lot of loans, education and no jobs.............
What is important; your calm mind, better health, enjoying life , cause we are here just a moment.
I like you a lot, you are smart and nice person :)) I hope OP will get something from this conversation. Money is only important to keep you alive, it does not give nothing beside the place to stay and paid bills and food. It has not value............beside that

[dontcarewhatusernameis]

Hey, well your post generated a good discussion at least :) I believe these things generate "energy" so keep an eye out for opportunities.

I know it's really hard to make any money without being some kind of "corporate slave" and you might have to do that for a while. If I was pressed to get a "regular" job I'd definitely be looking at night shift stuff - most people don't want to do it or can't because of family, so it often pays more. I feel much more "at home" during the night though and can happily sleep during the day.

:)

Ya I'm sort of the same way at night. Up until a few weeks ago I would often still be up at 5 am. I try to go to sleep by 2 am now but seem to slowing be falling asleep later and later. I feel more awake in the middle of the night then the middle of the day most of the time.

I don't think I'm going to actually try to get a job right now though after reading up more on the ticket to work and vocational rehabilitation programs. It seems to make more sense to use these services while they are available to me and try to get some kind of education or training so I could hopefully get a better job. I also think it will be an easier transition to training or school right now then getting an actual job. If I'm too anxious for the training then I would be to anxious to work.

I will try to set up an appointment tomorrow with VR to discuss my options but I am anxious just thinking about it (I hate using the phone). Unfortunately that means I usually just delay doing it but I have been breaking out of that pattern some lately so hopefully I can get it done.


yes it is, I do the same, no hiding with anxiety anymore........... I found driving, without any goal is highly satisfying, I love driving, and driving calms me down.......probably beacuse my mind is occupied with it. Buying and selling as good as being a lawyer,
No amount of money can erase the suffering cooperation spread on people, What young student suppose to do, they end up with a lot of loans, education and no jobs.............
What is important; your calm mind, better health, enjoying life , cause we are here just a moment.
I like you a lot, you are smart and nice person :)) I hope OP will get something from this conversation. Money is only important to keep you alive, it does not give nothing beside the place to stay and paid bills and food. It has not value............beside that

Driving actually makes me anxious. I didn't drive at all for a few years and it was extremely bad when I first started again but it has gotten much better now. Still mild anxiety about it though.

I am happy I joined this forum. I have actually occasional looked at anxiety and mental health forums for years but never signed up on one before now. Its nice to talk with people that understand what its like.

[gypsylee]

Ya I'm sort of the same way at night. Up until a few weeks ago I would often still be up at 5 am. I try to go to sleep by 2 am now but seem to slowing be falling asleep later and later. I feel more awake in the middle of the night then the middle of the day most of the time.

I don't think I'm going to actually try to get a job right now though after reading up more on the ticket to work and vocational rehabilitation programs. It seems to make more sense to use these services while they are available to me and try to get some kind of education or training so I could hopefully get a better job. I also think it will be an easier transition to training or school right now then getting an actual job. If I'm too anxious for the training then I would be to anxious to work.

I will try to set up an appointment tomorrow with VR to discuss my options but I am anxious just thinking about it (I hate using the phone). Unfortunately that means I usually just delay doing it but I have been breaking out of that pattern some lately so hopefully I can get it done.

I hate using the phone too (and I've worked in Administration!) I really hope you can find something that actually means something to you - something you're interested in.

I'm glad you're happy you joined this forum :) It really does make a lot of difference being able to talk about anxiety without being judged.

[Dahila]

dontcarewhatusenameis This is good , you probably will feel not so alone when you read what we are dealing with. I am good at the moment but I can have panic attack which last whole day till I knock myself out with meds.......... Here is the place to talk what is bothering you, and get new friends too :)
I know couple they met here and now they are married :)