makeitstopugh
09-13-2016, 01:12 PM
I am a 29 years old male. For as long as I can remember I have had panic attacks and other anxiety related issues. I don't like crowds. I don't like new people. I hardly like leaving my house. Some how I was starting to get better. Lately ( a couple months ago) I lost my father. Everything went to hell from there. I have stomach pains and horrible gas almost every night. I am terrified of throwing up and I feel like I am going to all the time. I hide in the back at work and try to avoid people so I don't throw up around them.
My latest issue and the reason I joined this forum is because about 3-4 days ago I woke up and came out in my living room. My air conditioner was off and it was pretty hot in my room. I was sitting in my chair and my hands were sweating and i started to get nervous because I felt like I was working myself up into a panic attack. Well during that time I got a slight pain in the right side of my stomach and since then I have been FREAKING out that I have appendicitis. I am almost to the point of fainting every time I think about having surgery. I have freaked myself out into a world of symptoms. I have some pain in my back around my tail bone ( which I'm assuming is because I sit funny in my chair to try to combat the gas pains. I can feel gas moving all around my stomach. I feel it gurgle constantly. I get the stomach pains and the I have had very loose stool for the past couple days. I'm trying to convince myself I just have IBS and I need to calm down, but its so hard. The funny thing is when I first wake up in the morning I feel fine. Then I will start going about my daily activities and the whole time I'll be thinking OMG when is the stomach pain gonna start and then after going nuts for about an hour basically forcing it on, it comes. I have one pretty sever attack after that and then I have one pretty sever attack before bed. I can't seem to get myself to settle down enough to go to sleep. And also everyone I've talked to has told me if the pain doesn't wake you up in the middle of the night then it is not anything to worry about. So you would think that helped right? Wrong. Now I'm afraid to go to bed because I don't want something to wake me up in the middle of the night. I have such a history of panic. My mother has struggled with it her entire life. My father was always the one that helped me calm down but with him gone I feel like everything is 100 times worse. I just feel so alone. I feel like I am such a burden to anyone that I ask for help because I have been having attacks now for more then half of my life and I feel like people are sick of hearing about it.
*EDIT* The crazy part is I will go jog around my backyard or I'll do a couple situps or something just to see if it hurts like hell. It never does. Infact it usually feels pretty good. You think that right there would tell me that it's obviously not what I think it is. However, I convince myself that it still could be and its just not advanced enough or whatever for it to hurt from movement. I'm really messed up in the head. I spent about 5 years (from 18 to late 22) thinking I was going to have a heart attack. Every day having major chest pains and everything and then one day they just randomly went away. I even have had this stomach thing before. No matter how much sense I try to talk into myself though it never seems to work. I can't seem to make myself listen to reason or see that I'm ok. I've tried everything. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried talking to everyone I could find. I've been to therapy but that was quite a while ago. I didn't really like it because I felt like all he did was throw some pills at me and not even really want to listen. I've tried paying like a hundred bucks for someone online anxiety thing. Everything seems to help alittle, but never enough. I'm reaching out to you guys basically because I need help calming down. My gas pains and everything are minimal at best and I turn them into the hugest deal ever. My nausea and basically ALL of my physical stuff isn't really THAT bad when I actually sit down and think about it but for some reason I freak myself out and convince myself that a stomach pain is appendicitis or a gas pain is a heart attack or a headache is a brain tumor. I really just need to find a way to stop over thinking everything and live my life. Hell, I'm not even so sure I really think I even have any of these things. I'm just plagued by the " oh my god what if it really is..."
My latest issue and the reason I joined this forum is because about 3-4 days ago I woke up and came out in my living room. My air conditioner was off and it was pretty hot in my room. I was sitting in my chair and my hands were sweating and i started to get nervous because I felt like I was working myself up into a panic attack. Well during that time I got a slight pain in the right side of my stomach and since then I have been FREAKING out that I have appendicitis. I am almost to the point of fainting every time I think about having surgery. I have freaked myself out into a world of symptoms. I have some pain in my back around my tail bone ( which I'm assuming is because I sit funny in my chair to try to combat the gas pains. I can feel gas moving all around my stomach. I feel it gurgle constantly. I get the stomach pains and the I have had very loose stool for the past couple days. I'm trying to convince myself I just have IBS and I need to calm down, but its so hard. The funny thing is when I first wake up in the morning I feel fine. Then I will start going about my daily activities and the whole time I'll be thinking OMG when is the stomach pain gonna start and then after going nuts for about an hour basically forcing it on, it comes. I have one pretty sever attack after that and then I have one pretty sever attack before bed. I can't seem to get myself to settle down enough to go to sleep. And also everyone I've talked to has told me if the pain doesn't wake you up in the middle of the night then it is not anything to worry about. So you would think that helped right? Wrong. Now I'm afraid to go to bed because I don't want something to wake me up in the middle of the night. I have such a history of panic. My mother has struggled with it her entire life. My father was always the one that helped me calm down but with him gone I feel like everything is 100 times worse. I just feel so alone. I feel like I am such a burden to anyone that I ask for help because I have been having attacks now for more then half of my life and I feel like people are sick of hearing about it.
*EDIT* The crazy part is I will go jog around my backyard or I'll do a couple situps or something just to see if it hurts like hell. It never does. Infact it usually feels pretty good. You think that right there would tell me that it's obviously not what I think it is. However, I convince myself that it still could be and its just not advanced enough or whatever for it to hurt from movement. I'm really messed up in the head. I spent about 5 years (from 18 to late 22) thinking I was going to have a heart attack. Every day having major chest pains and everything and then one day they just randomly went away. I even have had this stomach thing before. No matter how much sense I try to talk into myself though it never seems to work. I can't seem to make myself listen to reason or see that I'm ok. I've tried everything. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried talking to everyone I could find. I've been to therapy but that was quite a while ago. I didn't really like it because I felt like all he did was throw some pills at me and not even really want to listen. I've tried paying like a hundred bucks for someone online anxiety thing. Everything seems to help alittle, but never enough. I'm reaching out to you guys basically because I need help calming down. My gas pains and everything are minimal at best and I turn them into the hugest deal ever. My nausea and basically ALL of my physical stuff isn't really THAT bad when I actually sit down and think about it but for some reason I freak myself out and convince myself that a stomach pain is appendicitis or a gas pain is a heart attack or a headache is a brain tumor. I really just need to find a way to stop over thinking everything and live my life. Hell, I'm not even so sure I really think I even have any of these things. I'm just plagued by the " oh my god what if it really is..."