Help, i lost the control of my life!!!

[metal4life]

Hi everyone, im new here and this is my first post:
Im 17 and i have been diagnosed with social anxiety and i also think i have generalised anxiety but havent been diagnosed yet. ADHD also might be a things so let me beggin.

Ive reached an age where i need to decide what to do with my life and anxiety is not really helping. Im struggling so much with anxiety everyday im not even scared of specific social situatios because there is no specific im literally scared of everything and i dont leave my house, only if it is very important or my mother oblihgates me. Anxiety does accur during all day and i cant do nothing about it and i maybe go into therapy and the therapist already told me what i must do and it sounds imposible so scary i just get anxious by thinking of it or simply writting this. My mind is mest up right now so im sorry if i sound confusing, so the only reason why i want to go to treatment is because of my future and it scared me like hell. I dont know what the fuck to do with my life and next year im 18 where im supposed to life a life by myself and im not fucking ready. How am i ment to life a life if i cant even go outside. Another way to explain how severe my problem is: im even scared to ask my mum a simple question. And she said: you study or you work and earn money to pay the study place. If i dont know what to do with my life but also cant work bc its imposible wtf should i do?? Im so hoppeless right now, i just think of suicide but then i think that im a coward idiot bc i cant handle life also my fear of death keeps me away (im kinda glad of that). Also as i mentioned i also think i have ADHD which makes it really hard to study or live my life. Sometimes i feel like im in the wrong life... I apreciate any advice and thank you for reading this!!

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I would possible try therapy and/or medication to help you overcome your fears.

[Anne1221]

Therapy and/or medication is good advice. Also, remember you don't have to make one decision about the rest of your life. Just take the first step. But get help first and then either go to school or get a job and that's a great starting place. You'll soon see that one job leads to the next.

[stellaclark25]

Hi metal4life (cool username btw). What you are going through is certainly understandable, and I can relate in some ways, maybe different a little bit, but overall similar experiences. When I was your age (I'm 29 now) I felt much confusion, anxiety, and worry over what to do with my life. That's around the time when my anxiety and depression got worse and then progressed in the years to come. At that age I was worrying about typical teenage things, whether I fit it with people, whether I am cool enough, whether I'll ever have a partner etc. Especially in this day and age of everyone living their internet lives, it's easy to fall into the idea that you are doing something wrong and that others are much more focused and have things figured out. I can tell you from my experience that one thing I have learned up to this point in my life is that most people don't have life figured out. At all! People older than me still don't know what they're doing with their lives. One thing however that I have learned is to accept my present situation, be happy with myself as a human being, and trust that life is a continuously learning experience. And many of my friends are happy with their lives, and we always talk about how hard it is to really know what to do in life. And we laugh at the fact that yup, we pretty much don't know what is the perfect road to take! But we smile and feel happy regardless.

I too felt like not leaving the house and doing things in my life. That even happened to me in university, I would get on the bus and go to campus without any real purpose. OK, so you don't know what to study or work and which path to pursue in your life. I completely understand! You are not alone and please do not think poorly of yourself. If choosing a career is what is bugging you, I can tell you what I did for myself. I went through the university list of programs, one by one. The ones I didn't like and didn't fit me as a person, I crossed them out. In the end I was a left with a few that I thought I may be good at. And then I thought a bit about the pros and cons of each, picking one in the end. That doesn't mean that it was the right choice, or the only right choice at the time, but that simply at that point in my life, that's what felt right. And even if one day I end up changing careers, it's perfectly fine, because I have learned a lot of skills, and I know that nobody has life figured out, even though they may pretend they do. So I wouldn't feel bad if I didn't have mine figured out, because I am who I am and if I trust myself and work hard, everything will work out in the long run.

If you are worried about living on your own, that is equally understandable! Living on your own can be a very scary, hard experience. Think of what options are available to you, in terms of getting help and assistance from your family (don't be shy to ask for help, it will bring you guys closer and in the future you will be grateful you did) and friends if you have to move somewhere to pursue education or work. Or maybe you have the possibility of staying with your parents for the time being, and enrolling in a course of study, or a job that you enjoy for now. That would give you some time to slowly adapt and make sense of the things that matter to you. Don't worry about what the society pressure may look like, or how you feel with respect to others, because that's often an illusion, because like I said, most people act like they know what they're doing, when really they don't!! They continuously figure things out.

Please don't think of suicide, as it is not the answer, and you have so much to provide to the world! Believe me!! And remember this saying, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I can 100% guarantee that the problem is temporary. With time you will develop more confidence in yourself, you will learn to live in the moment and know that you are doing things right by living life, being a good person, and working hard. The rest will come to you. Please don't think of yourself as a "coward idiot", we all struggle with handling life at some point in our lives, some more than others, but that in itself is OK! Just please know that life is worth living and you will one day look back on this time, be glad to have carried on, learned from your life, and you will see that you will become a person that has a lot to give to the world. I am glad that you say you would not pursue that, because I am sure you are wonderful person and you have a lot of potential!

Please be yourself, stay strong and know that what you are experiencing is not making you a bad person, and you will figure things with each step you take. Decide on what you would like to pursue for the moment and focus on that, and you will see that the universe gets out of the way for you, and lets you achieve things at your pace :). Best of luck and come back anytime you need to talk :).

[metal4life]

Thank all f you guys for answering.
First of stella if you have/had anxiety how did you do all that, how did you do things with anxiety because i cant even go out whitout freaking out so i dont understand how you did that or maybe your anxiety wasnt as severe as mine.
Then if i do therapy first it will take a long time and as my mother dont understand it she wouldnt let me just do therapy and do nothing.
Also a dont want to do a carrer i think its usesless and a waste of time and i only do bachillerato(its called like this in Spain) to get more time and hope for a miracle because searching for a job to get money to pay me whatever i want to do, its imposible in my current situation. and i also read that anxiety disoreder are treatable but not curable, if its true then its not just a temporary problem like stella said.

I dont know what to do right now, i know life isnt easy but i didnt knew that it can be imposible.
Wel thans for the support everyone it didnt help much but thank you.

[Nowuccas]

Hey metal4life,

If possible, seek cognitive behavioural therapy for your anxieties; much preferably with a clinical psychologist who can organise for you to join group therapy with other social anxiety sufferers.

Otherwise, there are some therapies that you can apply yourself in my previous post about social anxiety at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33912-My-SA-Dealing-with-thoughts-of-judgement&p=223666#post223666

ADD / ADHD: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34471-Inositol-help&p=226246#post226246 Take the quiz. If you aren't getting sufficient DHA & EPA omega 3 fatty acids, take krill oil in hard covered capsules as directed.

Intuniv, Kapvay and Strattera are suitable medications for teens, and are not addictive central nervous system stimulants.

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: See http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989

Have an aptitude test, and seek vocational guidance counselling. You could try Googling a list of occupations, the ask for an answer in your dreams, as per http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?35210-Paralysis-and-feeling-stuck-missing-out

Then put together a plan, separated into readily attainable stages, and begin to implement it.

[Kirk]

On a side note, we went to Spain on vacation in June 2012. We flew out of Dulles airport direct to Madrid. My wife, our daughter and myself stayed in Madrid and we took a train to
Toledo where our daughters boyfriend at the time, father was living with his girlfriend. They picked us up at the station and they took us around and we went back to Madrid later in the day.
I found the people in Spain to be very friendly and the women were some of the most attractive I have ever seen.

[stellaclark25]

Hi again, and you’re welcome. For me, the way I found to cope with things is ironically by slowly getting out more and more and talking to more people and try to put my nervousness behind me. In time I realized that things are actually ok and that when I return home, nothing bad has happened, and if you practice, you will find it easier to be around people and feel comfortable with yourself. I know this doesn’t help much, and it sounds very simplistic, but I truly believe that practice can work, even if you may make mistakes along the way, which is ok. Make a list of things you enjoy doing as a person, and things you like to talk about, so that when you encounter anyone, you have an idea of who you are based on what you wrote down on paper, instead of being overwhelmed and not knowing how to start a conversation, or what to talk about with someone. I hope that I explained that ok.
As to the anxiety disorder being treatable not curable, that is probably true, I don’t know as I’m not a mental health professional in any way. However, the problems caused by anxiety are temporary. I think I will always have anxiety, but what I do know and believe is that I can learn to cope to the point that when I worry or do things like that, I will learn to put them aside and keep them at a very manageable level. I’m not there yet, but I’m improving a lot. Yes, life is hard, but it is not impossible, even though you may be going through a tough time at the moment, which like I said, is understandable. Anytime you want to ask more, feel free to do so :).

[rose24]

Oh my dear child you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. I am sorry you have gotten this diagnosis but I do hope you will not allow it to define who you are or who you can become. Do you know the judge on America's got Talent, the comedian Howie Mandel, he has spoken freely about his battle with Anxiety and OCD and yet look at the career and life he is having. The essential thing for you is to embrace quality treatment and perhaps some medication to manage your symptoms so they don't control your life. There is help and support available and I do hope you will access it and be proactive in doing all you can to receive help freeing you to think and move toward your future rather than let this bump in the road cripple you and cause you to live a life of regret. I am older and in my life have faced many issues and have discovered it is not the problems that have the potential for ruining our lives, but our response to them. We can either respond and be proactive to addressing the problem or we can allow the problem to defeat us, don't let this defeat you.

[metal4life]

thanks to everyone for the help!!!