Existence - really freaking me out!

[Bluecrusader99]

In the last six-eight months, I have noticed this strange feeling many times in my everyday. It's all about existence, as you can see.

Today I started school with no sleep. Oh, now as I've had a nap, the feeling about "existence" realy make me feel suicidal (napping makes me feel terrible.) Like.. Why the fuck am I here? And so on.. This also applies to days where I have little sleep.
I have tried the best I can to adapt this feeling into my brain. But, still, that just feels weird.
I feel happy that I can do stuff that I enjoy. Like playing video-games, getting strong, tasting new food. Ofc!
What I would really want is a decreased abstraction-ability in my brain, such that I can't fear all this, just enjoying my life, you know. Is it to much to ask for? :/

What's so odd is that "values" exist here. As in physics and such. It's so weird that the universe knows about the "values" from scratch. So freaking me out!

What should I do in order to stop "fearing" this philosophic thought into piercing into my brain? I just want to live normaly, god damn it!

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I asked my internal medicine physician one time a question and he said to me it sounds like you
are asking me the meaning of life. He then said when you find out the meaning of life, you let me know.

[Kirk]

I believe you have to try to make the best of things and enjoy your life the best you can.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Bluecrusader99,

Insufficient sleep may well be a contributing factor; check out https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=insufficient+sleep%3B+depression&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

I suggest that you view my previous post about insomnia at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?35202-Telling-therapist-info&p=230310#post230310 if it is the cause of your lack of sleep, and plan to get the required amount every night.

Sleep experts advise that adults, older children, and teens up to 15 generally require 7 to 8 hrs sleep to avoid the adverse effects of a "sleep deficit"; teens 16 - 19 need up to 9.5 hrs. If you are deficient in vitamin D, any sleep you get may not be of the restorative type, which occurs in the deep sleep stages.

My previous post about vitamin D may be viewed at: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34912-I-can-t-breathe-or-relax&p=228476#post228476

"What's so odd is that "values" exist here. As in physics and such. It's so weird that the universe knows about the "values" from scratch. So freaking me out!" - check out https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=anthropic+principle%3B+wikipedia&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 about the strong and weak anthropic principle. It's possible that there may be an almost infinite number of universes, each with its own set of initial parameters, such as the speed of light, the gravitational constant, the charge on an electron, the value of Pi, the cosmological constant, etc., with only a small proportion of those universes being able to sustain life. So it's no wonder that we find ourselves in one of them.

A previous post on existential angst follows:

Life has no inherent meaning, and purpose is an attribute restricted to animals with the ability to plan. Firstly, you would do well to come to the realisation that you are here as a result of others wanting to satisfy desires, and/or instincts and/or conforming to expectations. Or it could be an accident. Whatever the cause, you are here now. Some people manage to find solace in religion. I have found that the best approach is to make a reasonable contribution to the society which supports you, then involve yourself in activities which you find pleasureable, interesting, or exciting.

Perform an exercise in "running back the clock", all the way from before you were born, through the emergence of proto-hominins in the giant Rift valley of Eastern Africa, through mud skipper like fish surviving attacks from predators by moving into increasingly shallower water on tidal flats, and/or using stubby fins to move through weed choked channels, back to the evolution of multicellularity, and ultimately to the first self replicating molecules which were capable of (imperfectly) reproducing themselves, leading to natural selection. They may well have originated in alkaline hydrothermal vents near the undersea subduction zones of tectonic plates. Then go a stage further, to the formation of the very unusual Earth/Moon dyad, the coalescence of clouds of gas and dust from 4 supernovae which occurred more than 5 billion years ago, leading eventually to the singularity (so called "big bang" - which was neither big, nor was there a bang, because there was no matter, or sound) around 12.5 billion years ago. You may care to reverse the order, incorporating many of history's, and pre-history's turning points, and how such minor events as a grain of cosmic dust either impacting, or not impacting a meteoroid, hundreds of millions of miles away, more than 60 million years ago, at the KT boundary event, on top of massive volcanic eruptions, may have helped clear the ecological niches formerly occupied by dinosaurs, enabling tiny mammals to evolve into much larger forms, and eventually into primates.

The very nature of the universe in which we find ourselves appears to be within a very narrow range of parameters necessary for the possibility of life, (the anthropic principle) not to mention the "goldilocks orbit" of the Earth/Moon, in a stable part of a highly metalliferous spiral galaxy, with a massive planet like Jupiter, protecting us from frequent bombardment of comets, and meteoroids, causing mass extinctions. The next stage is quantum probability theory, (the computer you are viewing this on works by virtue of the electron tunnelling effect, which is a quantum physics phenomenon) and the likelihood of this being just one of infinite trillions of probability worlds, each based on the collapse of the wave function in any given probability event, such as the decay of any radioactive particle at any specified time. So, what of the other versions of "you", each one slightly different, in at least a slightly different universe? Food for thought! To gain a deeper understanding of life, it is necessary to know how you, and everyone, and everything else got here; to "run back the clock", all the way to to the singularity, approximately 12 .5 billion years ago.

Another point of view: Essentially, all life came from inanimate matter, and one atom of every element that constitutes your body is identical to every other one, (every cell in your body is replaced, on average, every 7 years) the first self replicating molecules were largely identical. Only much later did death, and sex occur. Humans, and all other animals may be viewed as vehicles for the storage, and replication of genetic matter. Separateness is, to some extent, illusory, caused by the limitations of our senses. We are all one, and essentially immortal (as long as life persists on this planet, which is likely for at least 500,000,000 years). It just doesn't feel like that, though. So, when "we" as individuals, cease to exist, the vast bulk of the rest of us continue on, and the atoms which once comprised "your" body will be recycled into new life forms.

I find it is best to just make a reasonable contribution to the society which supports me, then find enjoyable, and/or interesting or exciting things to do. When you are old, what do you want to be able to look back on and say about your life? I want to be able to say that I helped many people, had a lot of good, as well as bad times, experienced my share of excitement, and boredom, and found things of interest to study, and do. See http://a-dogs-breakfast.8m.com/blank_5.html if interested in a different, scientifically based viewpoint.

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome :)

This whole thing used to freak me out as well - some people are just naturally philosophical and I am very much so. The first author who really helped me with this was Carl Jung. Very, very basically, Jung would say the conscious/rational mind is incapable of understanding the meaning of life and such. But there is a whole lot more to the mind than what is conscious - in fact, that's like the tip of the iceberg. Unfortunately our Western culture thinks of the conscious mind as the be-all-and-end-all.. This is a key to our problems if you ask me. I could go on and on about this stuff for a long time, but let's just say there's no point trying to even comprehend questions like "why am I here?" with the day-to-day conscious mind. Once you accept that and stop trying, things get a lot less freaky! Then you start delving into the subconscious and unconscious and they get even more freaky LOL but that's a whole other story..

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Carnelian]

You do not want less abstraction ability. That is an intellectual ability you should value. Most people have little of it.
Unless you believe in a God who has a divine purpose for all of us, most people find meaning in everyday life, such as their\
children, career, good job, money (shallow meaning), creativity, or a Cause greater than themselves, such as charity. Or a strong
belief you have that will make lives better--But it could be lots of things like enjoying life to its fullest-- but not video games which are time killers and fun but
have no genuine meaning/ I find meaning in writing this message, reading, philosophizing, etc.
You could try reading a French novel (translated) NAUSEA by Jean Paul Sartre. Not about vomit of course. The character is unhappy, depressed
lonely day to day. He finds meaning in pop music in the end. It is a classic book.

[Bluecrusader99]

Thank you guys so much for the useful replies! I should probably consider making a hobby or such (just to calm my mind down). Maybe read some books, I'll see.

[Kirk]

Hobbies are good. For instance, I collect sports memorabilia. I like going to malls and going out to eat, etc.

[gypsylee]

Music is always good too :)

[Kirk]

I also enjoy music quite a bit.