Anxiety Over Elevated Prostate Tumor Marker

[MechPebbles]

Hello, everyone. I'm new here. I was quite surprised to find that there is such a thing as an anxiety forum!

In March of this year, a blood test showed that my prostate tumor marker (PSA) had made a huge jump from 3.8 to 6.5 over a period of only 13 months. I went to see a urologist who tested my Free PSA and that was found to be very low. I was told that statistically, I had a 93% chance of having prostate cancer!

This was very frightening, so I agreed to undergo a prostate biopsy. I had to wait for six days before I could get the results. I do not know how to explain to you how hellish those six days were. Anyway, the biopsy showed that there were no cancer cells in any of the twelve samples taken.

This was what I was praying for and you would think I would rejoice. But no, instead the urologist told me that the results showed little certainty as the samples he took from my prostate were randomly done and he could have missed the cancer. He told me that I would have to be retested in six months and if the tumor marker were to continue its rise, there would be concern.

This caused my mind to snap. I saw my hellish six day waiting period being transformed into an even more nightmarish six month waiting game. I found myself plummeting into a gruesome anxiety disorder complete with panic attacks.

That was four months ago. I have since started seeing a counselor and have read books on related topics like CBT. Things are not as bad as they used to be but I'm far from well. I live with fear. Life feels meaningless and pointless. I feel little interest in things that used to be important to me like exercise. I take no pleasure in life. I see people enjoying life and I think to myself, "Don't they know they are going to die?"

Soon, I shall be going for follow-up tests. I can already feel the fear beginning to ramp up.

I shall really appreciate it if any of you cares to share your advice or perspectives. Thanks.

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. Anyone would be anxious in your situation. All hope is not lost. Someone I know who is 53 had a similar situation as yours and he is OK now. His PSA
is still high and he needs to be monitored every 6 months. A high PSA does not necessarily mean cancer.

[Nowuccas]

Hey MechPebbles,

You didn't mention your age, although I'm informed that most men who live long enough will develop prostate cancer, but it's often just monitored closely to see if it develops to the extent that medical intervention becomes necessary; check out https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=prostate+cancer+watchful+waiting&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Also check out http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Cancer+-+Prostate such as;

Vitamin D deficiency predicts prostate biopsy outcomes – May 2014

16 percent less Prostate Cancer sometimes for each 10ng vitamin D increase - Jan 2011

Low risk Prostate Cancer decreased with 4,000 IU of vitamin D – July 2012

Prostate cancer reduced when 4000 IU vitamin D was added– Hollis RCT April 2015

Off topic - Prostate problem (BPH) reduced by herbs - (see https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=xtend-life.com%3B+prostate&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Total Balance for Men | Essential Natural Supplement - Xtend-Life
www.xtend-life.com/supplements/mens-supplements/total.../total-balance-mens
Rating: 4.5 - ‎56 reviews
The powerful phytosterols in this formula help support prostate health and function, while nettle extract supports healthy immunomodulation and inflammation ... )
For around a decade now I've been taking their Total Balance - Men's.

I suggest that you view my previous post about vitamin D at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34912-I-can-t-breathe-or-relax&p=228476#post228476

Other relevant posts:

FEAR: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34207-Help&p=225105#post225105

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989

"Vitamin D3 Cured my Anxiety, Depression, and Panic Disorder", (by another forum member) is at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?12695-Vitamin-D3-Cured-my-Anxiety-Depression-and-Panic-Disorder&highlight=vitamin

[MechPebbles]

Thanks Kirk and Nowuccas for the replies.

Kirk, can I please have some clarification regarding the man you mentioned?

1) You said that he is OK now. How was that conclusion made?
2) If his PSA remains high and he needs to be monitored every 6 months, how is his condition different from mine?

[Kirk]

The Urologist took biopsies, and ran some additional blood tests and found no evidence of cancer. He is 53 by the way.
His Urologist told him based on ACS guidelines for his PSA number, he had around a 1 in 4 chance of having prostate
cancer. All of his tests and biopsy results were negative, so he is supposed to come back in 6 months to check
his PSA level again. I am not 100% sure what his PSA number was, however.

[Kirk]

I too have had some health scares and I am 59. At age 20, I had a compression fracture of the 10 or 11th Thoracic vertebrae,
At 52, I had basal cell carcinoma, at age 46, I had an esophageal ulcer, I once had blood mixed with my semen that turned
out to be nothing, at age 25 I went to the bathroom and the toilet bowl was filled with blood, turned out to be nothing
serious, etc. Let me know if you have any other questions, or I could ask him some exact questions about his prostate exam.

[MechPebbles]

Kirk, thank you for taking the time and trouble to write. With all your health scares, do you experience health anxiety?

I believe I have a cancer phobia. When I was a boy, both my grandfathers died of cancer, one from lung cancer, the other liver cancer. When I was in my 30s, I had dizziness for 6 weeks. I went for a brain MRI and was worried sick that I might have brain tumor (a work colleague had died from brain cancer just shortly before) but it turned out to be nothing and the dizziness fizzled out by itself. Shortly after that, an aunt died from stomach cancer. In my late 40s, I too had bloody semen but a cystoscope showed there was no cancer. I'm now 55 and just a couple of weeks before I knew I had a high PSA (together with extensive ulcers in my stomach, small intestine and esophagus), my father-in-law died of the unheard-of cancer of the appendix.

Life sure feels meaningless. It's like all of us are sitting ducks and the Cancer Master is happily taking pot shots at us with his cancer gun. I wish I could go into the state of denial most "normal" people are in and just enjoy my life but I don't know how.

[Kirk]

I have had health anxiety off and on since I was 25. A guy I grew up with died earlier this year of Lymphoma. Interesting as I had the same thing as you, with dizziness every day for
6 weeks. I would lie down and the room would move. My ENT physicina told me that as we age, the crystals in our ears can shift and it sometimes takes the brain a while to catch up,
thus the dizziness. I was talking to my internal medcince physician one time and he said to me it sounds like you are asking me the meaning of life. He then said, if you ever
find an answer please let me know as I would like to know the answer myself. I still get dizzy once in a while. I have come to the conclusion that most things are out of our control anyway,
and a study was done at Hopkins which attributed most cases of cancer to just plain bad luck.

[Kirk]

Please let us know how you are doing.

[MechPebbles]

I'm not feeling very good. Fear or sadness, sometimes both. At times, I can dispel the negative emotions with positive thoughts but usually feel little inclination to muster the will to do so.

[Anne1221]

Do you think it would help you to see another doctor and get a second opinion? Sometimes I do that, and I start off by telling them how worried I am. They usually calm me down and help me see it's not as bad as it seems to me.

[Kirk]

I think you are normal to have fear, so don't be too hard on yourself. When I have health issues, I also am fearful.
Trying to talk it out with others you can trust may help. Try to stay busy as that is what I do.

[MechPebbles]

Do you think it would help you to see another doctor and get a second opinion? Sometimes I do that, and I start off by telling them how worried I am. They usually calm me down and help me see it's not as bad as it seems to me.
Thank you, Anne, for your counsel. It's really very good advice.

I actually am seeing two different doctors - a urologist for the prostate and a gastroenterologist for my ulcers. In June, when I saw the gastroenterologist, I told him that the urologist cautioned me that not having cancer show up in the biopsy is not necessarily a clean bill of health. The gastroenterologist then commented, "He has put you through a biopsy and now he can say that? He should get a kick in the butt!" I'm not joking, he really did say that.

He then went on to ensure me that I had no cancer. When I told him that he could not be sure of that, he said that he had been in the business for a long time and he guaranteed me that I had no cancer. He went on to tell me that all the tests conducted proved that. Ultrasound and DRE showed no major nodules and the biopsy came out totally clean.

I remember when I came out of his office, for the first time in months I felt lighthearted and actually happy. I told my wife I wanted to go for a holiday with her and to start watching tv series with her again (we used to do this but I stopped when life came crashing down all around me). But 7 hours later, when we were in the video shop looking for DVDs to buy, all the faces of people looking out at me from the DVD covers reminded me again of death and I had such a bad case of anxiety (chest tightness and my head felt like exploding).

I sometimes think of what this doctor said to me just to let some of the feel-good vibes wash over me. Thanks for reminding me of his words.

[MechPebbles]

I think you are normal to have fear, so don't be too hard on yourself. When I have health issues, I also am fearful.
Trying to talk it out with others you can trust may help. Try to stay busy as that is what I do.
Hey, Kirk, I know you mean well but telling me my fears are justified really scares me. It's not your fault though. I'm just terribly sensitized and analyze everything to death.

[MechPebbles]

10 more days before my follow-up tests. I am having mood swings from near-panic to nonchalant calm. What do I do? Please help.

[Anne1221]

If there is nothing else you can do in the way of getting feedback from a doctor and you're just waiting, Distract yourself as much as possible and keep busy...rent movies, do puzzles, get out and go places, etc. The more you do, the faster the time will go by. Plus, if you're not in a panic mode all the time, and have times of calm, that's really good!

[MechPebbles]

Should I be medicated?

[Anne1221]

It sounds like in 10 days you'll have the results and then you will know more and not be so fearful. Right?

[MechPebbles]

Yes, so just wait? I hope I don't get a stroke from all this fear and tension.

[Kirk]

My wife last year started vomiting and had chest discomfort. She went to the ER and thought for sure she was having heart issues and she really does
not have health anxiety like I do. It turned out to be GI related. She told me she was very worried however. She also the year before had a mammogram
call back. I asked her if she was worried and she said concerned. It turned out to be OK. Their are some over the counter things that may help with anxiety
such as magnesium, Omega 3's, L-Theanine, etc. When I was waiting for test results, I tried to keep very busy and keep my mind occupied to distract myself
as much as possible

[Anne1221]

Well, you could talk to your doctor about getting something to help you while you wait for the results. Tell him/her how anxious you are and see what he says.

[MechPebbles]

When I was waiting for test results, I tried to keep very busy and keep my mind occupied to distract myself
as much as possible
Kirk, I'm very glad your wife is ok. Does distraction really work? A couple of months ago, my counselor asked me to distract myself and suggested, among other things, that I watch comedy. I have since gone through the first 4 seasons of New Girl and while I have been amused and even laughed out loud at times, I am aware that the anxiety, if present, never left during the whole show. I am acutely conscious of the tight, swirling emotions of trouble in my chest. Not pleasant.

[MechPebbles]

Well, you could talk to your doctor about getting something to help you while you wait for the results. Tell him/her how anxious you are and see what he says.
I'm afraid both my doctors are quite dismissive about my emotional suffering. When I told the gastroenterologist about the anxiety and asked him if I should see a psychiatrist, he said that I should accept that I'm just a naturally anxious person. The urologist was worse: he said his other patients are able to take it all in their stride.

[The Intolerable Kid]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. My Father went through the exact same thing back in 2008, he's alive and well today, so don't lose hope.
I hope things works out well for you too.

[Kirk]

That is a terrible thing to say that ALL of his other patients take it in stride. I don't believe it. Some physicians have a TERRIBLE bedside manner.
If you see a psychiatrist, I would bet they would give you something to help you calm down.

[MechPebbles]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. My Father went through the exact same thing back in 2008, he's alive and well today, so don't lose hope. I hope things works out well for you too.
Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. I'm really glad to hear that your father is healthy and well. I'm just not so sure how to survive these last few days before the day of the test.

[Kirk]

I hope you get the good news you deserve to hear.

[MechPebbles]

I hope you get the good news you deserve to hear.
Thank you, Kirk. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. One more day! No peace at all. A bit hard to breathe.

[Kirk]

The stress you are under can make things rough for you to handle. Even though I am not religious, I will say a prayer for you.
As Winston Churchill once said, " If you're going through hell, keep going". I have that saying in my office as a magnet.