Locarno1
08-04-2016, 02:54 AM
Dear All,
This is my first post here and I hope to find some help with regards to dealing with my problem. I'm nearly 24 and live in the UK with my parents and always have done. I went to a brilliant school and also have a brother who lives in America. I'm also training to become a commercial airline pilot and am nearing the end of my training.
The difficult thing is, I have done all my training whilst staying at home if that makes sense. I would commute an hour each way to my flying club when I was doing my flight training because I didn't want to stay away. Whenever I stay away I get very anxious, do not sleep or eat very well, until I'm back in a comfortable and safe environment.
When I was 19, I decided to enrol on a full-time 18-month aviation course based in Oxford. This would be the first time I would move away from home, there was accommodation there but I was back home within the first week as I was in such a mess with myself. I don't know what I was worrying about, but I really didn't enjoy it. But did I give it a fair crack of the whip? Probably not... I then decided to take a different route to gain my flying licences which involved a distance-learning course for all the theory exams which I subsequently did at home whilst working part-time at a supermarket.
I managed to pass all my exams first time with a very high average. I then went onto my flight training earlier this year. I initially viewed a room near my flying club where I was going to stay but it's like someone turned on a switch after I viewed this room. I started worrying, not sleeping (even at home..) because I didn't want to stay away, I wanted to stay at home because I knew this was a safe zone where I would be comfortable, be able to sleep and eat well.
So I decided to commute each day. I passed all my flying licences which I still have today. I had a final course which required staying away from home for around 2 weeks. I was really looking forward to this and initially was absolutely fine as my parents came up with me and stayed with me for a few days. They left at the weekend and over the weekend I met my new course mates, went out for drinks and did some fun activities with them, I was absolutely fine during this!
But when it came to the first day of simulator flying on this course I found the course very hard, I started putting pressure on myself to learn things and I couldn't do it. I would get back to my room at my hotel and be in a complete mess, even when my instructor said I was doing really well. I unfortunately couldn't see it. Each day got worse and worse. It's like an automatic thing and I felt I was having an anxiety attack which I've now accepted that I have anxiety. I do worry quite a lot in life. I unfortunately had to leave the course half way through as I just wasn't right in myself, and when I got home I was very guilty and annoyed with myself.
I'm determined to fight my anxiety and conquer my fears if it means I can become a pilot in the near future! I do think sometimes I give up too easily and I also do struggle outside of my comfort zone.
Now, I am seeing a CBT therapist which is helping slowly. He has challenged me to come up with a hierarchy of things that will take me outside of my comfort zone.
I personally think I should do some travelling, really throw me in the deep zone, would you agree?
I apologise for the very vague explanation, it's a difficult thing to explain but I hope to speak with people on here who may've gone through the same and conquered it?
I will try and expand on this if it will help people to help me.
Many thanks,
This is my first post here and I hope to find some help with regards to dealing with my problem. I'm nearly 24 and live in the UK with my parents and always have done. I went to a brilliant school and also have a brother who lives in America. I'm also training to become a commercial airline pilot and am nearing the end of my training.
The difficult thing is, I have done all my training whilst staying at home if that makes sense. I would commute an hour each way to my flying club when I was doing my flight training because I didn't want to stay away. Whenever I stay away I get very anxious, do not sleep or eat very well, until I'm back in a comfortable and safe environment.
When I was 19, I decided to enrol on a full-time 18-month aviation course based in Oxford. This would be the first time I would move away from home, there was accommodation there but I was back home within the first week as I was in such a mess with myself. I don't know what I was worrying about, but I really didn't enjoy it. But did I give it a fair crack of the whip? Probably not... I then decided to take a different route to gain my flying licences which involved a distance-learning course for all the theory exams which I subsequently did at home whilst working part-time at a supermarket.
I managed to pass all my exams first time with a very high average. I then went onto my flight training earlier this year. I initially viewed a room near my flying club where I was going to stay but it's like someone turned on a switch after I viewed this room. I started worrying, not sleeping (even at home..) because I didn't want to stay away, I wanted to stay at home because I knew this was a safe zone where I would be comfortable, be able to sleep and eat well.
So I decided to commute each day. I passed all my flying licences which I still have today. I had a final course which required staying away from home for around 2 weeks. I was really looking forward to this and initially was absolutely fine as my parents came up with me and stayed with me for a few days. They left at the weekend and over the weekend I met my new course mates, went out for drinks and did some fun activities with them, I was absolutely fine during this!
But when it came to the first day of simulator flying on this course I found the course very hard, I started putting pressure on myself to learn things and I couldn't do it. I would get back to my room at my hotel and be in a complete mess, even when my instructor said I was doing really well. I unfortunately couldn't see it. Each day got worse and worse. It's like an automatic thing and I felt I was having an anxiety attack which I've now accepted that I have anxiety. I do worry quite a lot in life. I unfortunately had to leave the course half way through as I just wasn't right in myself, and when I got home I was very guilty and annoyed with myself.
I'm determined to fight my anxiety and conquer my fears if it means I can become a pilot in the near future! I do think sometimes I give up too easily and I also do struggle outside of my comfort zone.
Now, I am seeing a CBT therapist which is helping slowly. He has challenged me to come up with a hierarchy of things that will take me outside of my comfort zone.
I personally think I should do some travelling, really throw me in the deep zone, would you agree?
I apologise for the very vague explanation, it's a difficult thing to explain but I hope to speak with people on here who may've gone through the same and conquered it?
I will try and expand on this if it will help people to help me.
Many thanks,