paranoid.neet
06-29-2016, 07:55 AM
I was 10 years ago, I met a young girl thru text, I forgot her name and here face, i remembered she was referred to me by a close family friend.
We met in her's Aunt house, and she was alone. Things happened pretty fast and we are inside the bedroom, heavy petting happened.
No intercourse happened, only dry happing, but with occasional fingering and something it got thru and stop by her. As i remember vividly she kissed back..
After that, we step outside the living room and talked. After a day we texted a couple of days, it was okay and after that i we lost communication and forgot what happened.
I was 20/21 on that time and she was 17 or 18. I am completely forgot her face, her name.
And after that i forgot it all the way till now..
I had panic attacks about this, i really dont know why i recall that past situation and even thinking i will be filed with rape, even though
i was sure that was not rape. That paranoid triggered when i was watching news, death penalties, terrorist attacks, etc. I had panic issues also on STI for years now. I always test even on protected Sex, i always take HIV tests every 6 months and 12 months. I am paranoid getting anyone pregnant even with condom and pills.
Every time i achieve something or being so happy suddenly i will think of the darkest thoughts like STIs, that sexual encounter, i may die tomorrow.
I always think worst days, what if that happened, what if i die. Right now my career is getting good and i keep thinking
what if i had HIV, what if that girl will suddenly appear with a rape case, what i will be a car accident when driving, etc.. I cant stop thinking negative thoughts. There was one time in months i dont go out in my house because an airplane might crashed in top of head.
My girlfriend knew these paranoias of mine and she is supportive, and i feel bad she kept on understanding for me.
My head hurts everyday and i cant focus even i think positive and happy thoughts.. I am working at my home for almost 9 years now, with
an occasional office works.
Please Help :(
We met in her's Aunt house, and she was alone. Things happened pretty fast and we are inside the bedroom, heavy petting happened.
No intercourse happened, only dry happing, but with occasional fingering and something it got thru and stop by her. As i remember vividly she kissed back..
After that, we step outside the living room and talked. After a day we texted a couple of days, it was okay and after that i we lost communication and forgot what happened.
I was 20/21 on that time and she was 17 or 18. I am completely forgot her face, her name.
And after that i forgot it all the way till now..
I had panic attacks about this, i really dont know why i recall that past situation and even thinking i will be filed with rape, even though
i was sure that was not rape. That paranoid triggered when i was watching news, death penalties, terrorist attacks, etc. I had panic issues also on STI for years now. I always test even on protected Sex, i always take HIV tests every 6 months and 12 months. I am paranoid getting anyone pregnant even with condom and pills.
Every time i achieve something or being so happy suddenly i will think of the darkest thoughts like STIs, that sexual encounter, i may die tomorrow.
I always think worst days, what if that happened, what if i die. Right now my career is getting good and i keep thinking
what if i had HIV, what if that girl will suddenly appear with a rape case, what i will be a car accident when driving, etc.. I cant stop thinking negative thoughts. There was one time in months i dont go out in my house because an airplane might crashed in top of head.
My girlfriend knew these paranoias of mine and she is supportive, and i feel bad she kept on understanding for me.
My head hurts everyday and i cant focus even i think positive and happy thoughts.. I am working at my home for almost 9 years now, with
an occasional office works.
Please Help :(