I can't breathe or relax...

[BerryBamboo]

I don't usually do this, talk about my problems. Because I had such a bad experience from searching for help. I mostly focus on helping myself based on observation. Maybe grasping at straws here.

When this hits me, it I can't breathe or relax. I get problems in my stomach, it feels like there is a rock inside, and even massage doesn't work, I try to breathe from bottom of my stomach, pushing the breath downwards, that seems like the only thing that works. But it gets really bad when I am really freaking out, and muscles all over my body really tense up, and I can't move in the worst case, other times it is just my hands and my stomach muscles tighten and finally relax after a while. I don't know what this is, but I have a real issue with my muscles tensing up. I thought I had control over this, but now I am not so sure anymore, and very scared to relive this again. Last time this happened very bad, I was in the bathroom, and thought I was gonna die. So hard to take a shower. Or take a bus. I don't really trust doctors or therapists. Since it is a social anxiety more than any other phobias I have, I can't really calm myself in front of someone, especially when I am trying to talk about something I have no control over.

I have allergies and allergic asthma. But when I can't breathe, it is usually coming from my stomach, not my chest, not my lungs. And I have an issue about being honest about what's troubling me all the time. I mostly shut down or start giggling ridiculously. I hate that. My parents, they are really difficult people, they are the basis to most of my problems. That's why I try to solve their problems because mine are connected to them. And I see what's wrong immediately. But these days, I am facing really deeper fears, and I am so scared. And it's taking all my self-control right now to keep writing, instead of deleting this.

This problem has taken so much from me. I had to drop out of college, I can't work. All I can do is try to learn stuff online, and do physical exercise or easy art, which helps so much. And I observe. I try to understand more into behaviour or emotions. And I get myself out of problematic situations, these are mostly inactive, since I avoid straight arguments. And it is worse, when I avoid conflict, problems turn into real issues.

But I don't feel safe in my own house, in my own room, or in my head! I hate spiders, I hate cobwebs, I hate dirt or rot, I hate water, they only remind me more of being helpless, and not being able to take action. I freak out, and can't breathe or I get a severe muscle spasm. Not just these. I am afraid to go outside, I am afraid to open a window. I am afraid to see my friends. I am afraid to do anything. Because I always have this in my mind: I don't belong anywhere, no one ever let me live my own life, they only made me watch them have fun or live their lives. My God, I am so angry, my hands are shaking.

I used to do everything enough to go on. I would go outside, I would clean and tidy my room, I would eat and study and have fun with people. I would be around people. It would be nice to go to school. But more and more I have realized with each blow to my character, people didn't really appreciate me, I didn't really appreciate myself. And my life wasn't really as good as I hoped. And all this started when I moved to somewhere else away from my home and friends almost 16 years ago, and had my first attack in a bus, felt really powerless and drowning. Because I started realizing my friends didn't love me, my parents were really keeping me weak and powerless. It was such a traumatic experience. And nothing ever worked after that. I thought they did.

But worst blow was when I had real problems with my closest relatives and my boyfriend. They all betrayed me. Not really want to talk about that. And they forced me to see real character flaws, and I couldn't handle them, I dropped out of college, this is the real punch to my stomach: it was a time I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't move, I couldn't talk or think. I was conscious, awake, but couldn't function. Later I have realized this was my brain's way of protecting itself from further pain and stress by shutting my mind and my body till I overcome the stressful situation in my subconscious. Because the more I figured things out, the more I gained control over my mind and body.

When there is something I don't want to see, or having trouble admitting to myself, everything becomes noisy or blurry. Or my muscles tense up, or they just don't work. It's really weird. Right now, as I wrote, I can't deal with this thought of everybody living their lives and pushing me aside, making me watch instead of involving me, making me believe I am useless, I am not useless! Not that it matters. They made me feel helpless... It is a character flaw. A pattern I don't know how to break. All my life, such a waste! I don't know what this is...

Wow, it's been a long text. I guess I needed to share it...

[Nowuccas]

Hey BerryBamboo,

Check out http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Overview+Asthma+and+Vitamin+D such as:

Asthma reduced 60 percent with vitamin D supplementation – meta-analysis 2014, 2015, &

Women with asthma 35X more likely to be vitamin D deficient – Oct 2013, &

Asthma reduced by weekly 50,000 IU of vitamin D – RCT Aug 2014, &

Asthma attacks reduced in half if Vitamin D level higher than 42 nanograms – RCT May 2014.

----------------------------------------------------

My previous relevant posts may be viewed at:

ANXIETY or PANIC ATTACKS: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34755-Panic-attacks-that-last-for-hours

ANGER MANAGEMENT: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34787-Feeling-Skeptical-!!!-Progress-so-far!&p=227756#post227756

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989

SOCIAL ANXIETY: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33912-My-SA-Dealing-with-thoughts-of-judgement&p=223666#post223666

HERBAL ANXIOLYTICS: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34269-5-Powerful-Tools-You-Probably-Haven-t-Tried-Yet&p=225415#post225415

NON HERBAL NATURAL (NON PHARMACEUTICAL) ANXIOLTYICS: (5-htp, etc.) http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34355-Help-Please!!!/page2

VITAMIN D:

Vitamin D requires cofactors; zinc, boron, magnesium (see http://www.naturalnews.com/046401_magnesium_dietary_supplements_nutrient_abso rption.html ) and vitamin K2, Dr. Cannell at http://vitaminDcouncil.org advises.

The best natural source of vitamin K2 is natto. Hard, curd cheeses such as Edam, Brie, and Gouda are also good sources. I suggest that you Google: "vitamin K2; mercola". Mercola.com have supplies of the most bioavailable form of vitamin K2; MK7 / menaquinone.

Adequate calcium intake is also necessary, because vitamin D3 is calciferol; part calcium.

Note that there is a difference between vitamin K1, found in green leafy vegetables, and vital for blood clotting, and vitamin K2, so ensure yours is vitamin K2; view http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/06/28/vitamin-k2-health-benefits.aspx


VITAMIN D: general info:

The govt. RDI of 400 IU daily is long outdated, and based on misinformation, according to Dr. John Cannell, at the VitaminDcouncil. Dr. Weil, Dr. Ben Kim, Dr. Axe, Dr. Gominak, a neurologist, and Dr. Mercola* all agree that an RDI of 5000 IU daily is not excessive, although higher levels may be required as people age, and / or put on weight. My doctor, on the basis of several peer reviewed studies, also agrees that an RDI of 5000 IU daily is not excessive, and it is virtually impossible to get the required amount from dietary sources, without the risk of toxicity.

* VITAMIN D DOSE RECOMMENDATIONS
AGE DOSAGE
"Below 5: 35 units per pound per day
Age 5 - 10: 2500 units
Adults: 5000 units
Pregnant Women: 5000 units
WARNING:
There is no way to know if the above recommendations are correct. The ONLY way to know is to test your blood. You might need 4-5 times the amount recommended above. Ideally your blood level of 25 OH D should be 60 ng/ml".

The NOAEL (No observed adverse effect level) specified by the Institute of Medicine is 10,000 IU/day. Around 1 person in 300 is allergic to it, so start out with only 1,000 IU on the first day, if supplementing.

Dr. Gominak now recommends optimising vitamin D levels in the range 60 ng/ml to 80 ng/ml, and Dr. Mercola recommended 60 ng/ml or 150 nmol/litre, which is now my target level.

Vitamin D is not a true vitamin, but a hormonal substrate that is vitally important for the activation of almost 3,000 genes in the body.

Google: "How To Make Sure That You Are Getting Enough Vitamin D; Dr. Ben Kim", then: "My 1 hr free lecture on vitamin D; Dr. Mercola".

Note that most doctors would regard as acceptable lower levels of vitamin D than those recommended by Dr. John Cannell of the vitamin D council, or Professor Michael Holick, a former member, and an expert in vitamin D.

Read: "Why are doctors reluctant to accept vitamin D", at:
http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Why+are+doctors+reluctant+to+accept+vitamin+D and in particular:
"Would you be opposed to my getting more vitamin D", at:
http://www.vitamindwiki.com/tiki-index.php?page_id=3162

UVB in sunlight produces vitamin D in exposed skin; the UVB levels are highest between 11, and 1, non daylight saving time. Even a slight haze absorbs a high proportion of UVB, and glass absorbs 95%.

Vitamin D3 supplements should be taken with the largest meal of the day, ensuring some fat or oil content, as it is fat soluble.

WEBLINKS:

http://nadir.nilu.no/~olaeng/fastrt/VitD-ez_quartMED.html & http://blog.nutritiondata.com/ndblog/2009/08/how-much-sunshine-does-it-take-to-make-enough-vitamin-d.html?mbid=ndnl - SUNLIGHT EXPOSURE

VITAMIN D3 - Dr. J. Cannell http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/

HOME TEST KITS http://www.zrtlab.com/vitamindcouncil/

VITAMIN D3 - Dr. M.Holick http://www.vitamindhealth.org/ Dr. J. Mercola http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/12/16/my-one-hour-vitamin-d-lecture-to-clear-up-all-your-confusion-on-this-vital-nutrient.aspx http://www.mercola.com/article/vitamin-d-resources.htm http://sunlightandvitamind.com/ http://www.krispin.com/ www.grassrootshealth.net/daction offer cost price postal 25(OH)D testing. http://www.westonaprice.org/basicnutrition/vitaminprimer.html

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"Vitamin D3 Cured my Anxiety, Depression, and Panic Disorder", at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?12695-Vitamin-D3-Cured-my-Anxiety-Depression-and-Panic-Disorder&highlight=vitamin is not my thread.

------------------------------------------------

If you have difficulty with face to face therapy, why not consider online therapy, possibly Skyping / V.O.I.P. (or not)?

At: http://www.freeonlinetherapy.net the first 20 minutes is free. At: http://www.mytherapynet.com you pay by the minute, for licensed therapists. At: http://www.liveperson.com (they state): "Choose a counselor Start chatting for free Pay ONLY when you are ready". Others are: www.psychology.com & www.onestepatatime.com & www.kasamba.com & www.therapyworld.net http://www.onlinecounselingtherapy.com & http://www.counselingservicesonline.org & http://www.etherapistsonline.com & http://onlinecounsellingservice.co.uk (email, instant chat, or V.O.I.P.) & http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/ (telephone, email, chat, and audiovisual counseling mediums) & https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/en/counselling/default.aspx & www.onlinecounseling.co.za SKYPE: http://directory.skype.com/en/skypeprime/listing/jason.reatherford/Online-Counseling-and-On-Line-Counseling-Services

Google more / newer ones.

Some anti anxiety techniques worth trying:

Learn, become proficient in, and employ acupressure tapping / EFT, and progressive muscle relaxation, ( http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html ) using whichever you find most effective.

Give the Meridian Tapping Technique / EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via mercola.com or www.tapping.com (13 free videos), or www.eftuniverse.com or www.emofree.com or one of the many YouTube videos. Google: "YouTube; EFT videos".
Professionally instructed is generally preferable (Google: therapists; EFT; [your location] or mercola.com has a locator). - There is a version for use in public places at http://eft.mercola.com (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage / tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I have anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself)."

Hoping something in the above helps.

[BerryBamboo]

Well, vitamin D is interesting, other things not so much. Thanks.

[foreman]

Well i can say you that meditation helped me a lot to calm my mind and body also .Try it and see how it goes

[Ponder]

Well, vitamin D is interesting, other things not so much. Thanks.
LMFAO - Your not missing much Dahila. ;)

[Dahila]

jeez "interesting " thread I see :)

[Casper Bruce]

Meditation is helping me quite alot with relaxing. I suggest you try it. If you are interested in learning I can gladly tell you how.

[Dahila]

Casper are you forum guru? We have tons of threads about meditation so just read, then try to help others. welcome to the forum

[Anne1221]

You can turn things around and feel useful. A great place to start is volunteering. It will make you feel like you're doing something good that day.

[Casper Bruce]

Casper are you forum guru? We have tons of threads about meditation so just read, then try to help others. welcome to the forum

Forum guru? Whats that? Oh sorry I really didnt look im just sharing what worked for me. Sorry if it comes off as if im like a guru or something lol

[Dahila]

Casper maybe I am too quick and jumping to conclusion, I meditate myself and it probably saved me and still does from committing suicide probably twenty times. Meditation is something which bound me to this time, this place and now

[Bonnieeeee]

I have had similar problem since I was really young. I have chronic fatigue, social anxiety, headache, cannot focus, sleeplessness. it was cause by stress and anxiety. I found out about homeopathy recently and it had help me a lot. maybe you should try it out. I was afriad to go out of my house and locked myself up for 6 months but after taking homeopathic medicine I started to see improve in my symtomps.
good luck
all the best

[Spaceturtle]

It sounds like maybe its a little of both, people don't appreciate you as they should and something in your own mind. Not everyone out there is a great person, furthermore I think the average person has to go through what we go through to even begin to understand how to treat you the way you feel like being treated. I do appreciate you taking time to write such a long post.

Know you are not alone, I am going similar things as far as anxiety is concerned. I know all too well what it feels like not even be comfortable in your own home much less go anywhere. I live in a constant state of panic.

All though I just started taking buspar, I think the herbal supplement route is a fantastic way to go. The one thing you should keep in mind is that unless you are severely deficient in a vitamin or such then there is no quick fix overnight. Your body and mind doesn't repair over night. I think getting into yoga meditation techniques might help you too. There are people who can do all sorts of things with their mind such as raise their body temperature through meditation. All though you have no practical use for that that is just one example of what you can be able to do. The thing about that too is meditation takes practice, its a skill kin to playing a sport. It might take you months before you see results and some people will naturally be better than others at it.

I'm not sure if I offered anything that will help you but feel free to message me, I am also new here and talking to people never hurts. Good luck to you in whatever you do.

[BerryBamboo]

Yeah, thanks. I'll consider your advice.