ThatChild
05-26-2016, 11:28 PM
I want to know what I'm exactly going through. I know that there are countless of ways out there like sites for this kinds of things but I joined here for the sake of knowing and understanding better since a lot of you had already gotten through this and even surpassed it. My family's not that rich so I can't really ask them to have me get professional help. So these are my problems. I'll try to keep it short.
#1: Fear of going back to school and meeting new people. Just scared of the overall setting where you're trapped inside a classroom with a lot of people then your professor may call on you. I have a problem with my hearing so I can't hear that well. I'm dreading the part where my professor asked or said something and yet I have to make him repeat it. He might get angry and things might get ugly. My one and only friend is put in a different section from me and she's in the morning part then goes home right when I start my classes. That means I can't talk to her anymore and I don't have anyone to be beside me through those days. (This has been bugging me ever since I learned we were separated which was already two weeks before.)
#2: I don't like stepping out of the house when I'm alone. I'm okay if I have my sister or my mother or perhaps my whole family with me but if I'm all by myself especially in the mall where it's crowded, with every step I could feel my hands and feet going numb. My heart started beating too fast that I could feel it jumping around as if I have tachycardia.
#3: I can't talk with strangers, this includes professors or people with authority or perhaps sales lady, the lady behind the counter, the janitor, just basically strangers in different kinds of settings. I can't ask for help no matter how much I need it. My jaw just clamps shut and I could barely let a word out. I'm normal around my friend but when she's gone it's like I never learned to talk in the first place. I can't even say thank you or sorry.Ordering in fast food is absolutely hell.
#4: My head's jammed with negative thoughts mainly from the thought that others are judging and talking about me when they so much as cast a glance at me. Heart palpitations has been a normal thing to me ever since I gained this kind of fear. I know that it's most unlikely that they are doing those kinds of things but I can't help it. It's like having a little demon inside of my own head.
#5: There is this chat room that my new classmates made in a social media and they needed help so I helped them but when I intervened I felt like I ruined it or something. When I proceeded to talk, my heart was beating so fast I heard it thumping against my ears. My hands and feet quickly turned cold and numb.
#6: I can't sleep very well and the thought of school bothers me a lot. Right now I and my sister will go to the mall. My heart's already pounding and I have been sweating bullets.
#7: Apparently I've experienced anxiety attacks according to the counselor I talked to back at the university (it was free so it was a chance I don't want to pass up though I can't remember what we talked about oddly) and I've been experiencing them in an almost daily basis. Around three times a week. Nobody in my family knows because I'm quick to calm myself down so it won't get worse. I'm not taking any medicine except for the one for my hearing.
I am so sorry again if it came out long instead. I don't know what to omit anymore so it would become shorter. Any kind of help is welcomed and to those that read it, thank you.
#1: Fear of going back to school and meeting new people. Just scared of the overall setting where you're trapped inside a classroom with a lot of people then your professor may call on you. I have a problem with my hearing so I can't hear that well. I'm dreading the part where my professor asked or said something and yet I have to make him repeat it. He might get angry and things might get ugly. My one and only friend is put in a different section from me and she's in the morning part then goes home right when I start my classes. That means I can't talk to her anymore and I don't have anyone to be beside me through those days. (This has been bugging me ever since I learned we were separated which was already two weeks before.)
#2: I don't like stepping out of the house when I'm alone. I'm okay if I have my sister or my mother or perhaps my whole family with me but if I'm all by myself especially in the mall where it's crowded, with every step I could feel my hands and feet going numb. My heart started beating too fast that I could feel it jumping around as if I have tachycardia.
#3: I can't talk with strangers, this includes professors or people with authority or perhaps sales lady, the lady behind the counter, the janitor, just basically strangers in different kinds of settings. I can't ask for help no matter how much I need it. My jaw just clamps shut and I could barely let a word out. I'm normal around my friend but when she's gone it's like I never learned to talk in the first place. I can't even say thank you or sorry.Ordering in fast food is absolutely hell.
#4: My head's jammed with negative thoughts mainly from the thought that others are judging and talking about me when they so much as cast a glance at me. Heart palpitations has been a normal thing to me ever since I gained this kind of fear. I know that it's most unlikely that they are doing those kinds of things but I can't help it. It's like having a little demon inside of my own head.
#5: There is this chat room that my new classmates made in a social media and they needed help so I helped them but when I intervened I felt like I ruined it or something. When I proceeded to talk, my heart was beating so fast I heard it thumping against my ears. My hands and feet quickly turned cold and numb.
#6: I can't sleep very well and the thought of school bothers me a lot. Right now I and my sister will go to the mall. My heart's already pounding and I have been sweating bullets.
#7: Apparently I've experienced anxiety attacks according to the counselor I talked to back at the university (it was free so it was a chance I don't want to pass up though I can't remember what we talked about oddly) and I've been experiencing them in an almost daily basis. Around three times a week. Nobody in my family knows because I'm quick to calm myself down so it won't get worse. I'm not taking any medicine except for the one for my hearing.
I am so sorry again if it came out long instead. I don't know what to omit anymore so it would become shorter. Any kind of help is welcomed and to those that read it, thank you.