Derealization & Depersonalization at the same time?

[square]

I'm not sure I understand what the difference is between the two.

The terms also seem interchangeable, so are they technically the same?

Also, someone described one aspect of Dp as "thinking everything was fake". Or thinking social interactions were fake and thus dreaded. Like a feeling that it's all crap anyway?

But that's just one aspect to it, there must be more.

It's as though it takes a tremendous amount of effort to turn the lights in the eyes on, you know, to turn on the personality (of that day). If the lights don't come on, the person is moody, un-fun and a big drag to be around.

Is that even a part of D r or D p?

Another conception of the two I have is that episodes of it are like blackouts. There are stressful times when I have just endured weeks of persistent anxiety by going into the cliche "auto-pilot". Just existing and doing the normal routine. It's as if I have a guy in the back working on it, while the numbskull, vacuous-looking dude (me) represents me with low self-esteem and vague answers. When the anxiety event has eased, I then realize that holy sh:t, I can't really remember the last few weeks or months, but still all the day to day stuff was maintained.

Is any of that part of derealization and depersonalization?

I don't believe it to be a negative or scary thing - if anyone knows more or is dealing with it I'd be interested in hearing about it. Thanks.

-I'll research it scientifically, but hearing from real people is helpful also-

[Carla]

Hello
When I suffered with both a few months ago I was told that depersonalization is to do with how you personally feel and derealization is how things appear to be. I am not sure that is explaining it well enough...for example,back then when I was outside, buildings and houses would look empty and everywhere looked a funny grey brown colour and a bit surreal looking and previously familiar places and rooms in my house then looked like I had never been there before , - that is what I was told was derealization and the depersonalisation is basically how I felt if I was sat in a room with everyone around me, although I knew them, they didnt feel 'close' to me, it felt like they were strangers almost. I felt cut off from them and as tho I were alone. I think one is to do with how things appear and the other is how you feel. Sorry if this doesnt make much sense - its late and I am tired - maybe someone else could help you with this question, which is a really good one!

[square]

Ok Carla, your response was helpful- thanks.

I did some internet "research" and it makes sense.

:|

:?





sonob:tch, another complex.


:)

[Carla]

Hello again
Thanks for the reply. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It is horrible isnt it. It sounds like you are managing it really well. I went through depersonalisation and derealisation a few months ago and it was awful - one of the worst parts of having anxiety I think. I really thought I was losing my mind and just in the half way stage to losing it fully. My anxiety did liften due to self help and at the same time those feelings stopped. My CBT counsellor back then told me that depersonalisation is a feeling of disconnection from ones sense of self and derealisation is a feeling of disconnection from the world around us - a dreamlike state.It is perfectly normal to feel like that when suffering with anxiety as it is part of the brains way of shutting down a little in order to rest it from an all the anxious stressed thinking,and so you get the dream like state, yet you are still able to function. I used to get a very similar feeling when I had migraines years ago and a lot of people who have migraines and also epilepsy get the same feelings. I used to get so scared about it I would actually be sick cos of how I felt. I hope it goes away soon for you and it will when you are less stressed.

[square]

Hi Carla,

It's been going on for a long time - started during the Carter Administration. I jsut "checked out" for the most part during high school. I knew it then and so did some other kind people that tried to get me to check back in.

It's been in and out over time, but for the most part, I've been watching a film of me, or a hologram ;).

It trips me out some times. My father was the same way.

But I've managed to function somewhat and have a good job, but some of the simplest things are kind of a struggle.

The whole dp/dr thing seems circular with the anxiety in my case, so it's accessible from alot of different angles.

There's hope.




The internet makes it easier to put a name to it.

[square]

Hi Carla,

It's been going on over 30 years - started during the Carter Administration. I jsut "checked out" for the most part when I got to high school. I knew it then and so did some other kind people that tried to get me to check back in.

I've been in and out over time, but for the most part, I've been watching a film of me, or a hologram ;).

It trips me out some times. My father was the same way.

I've managed to function somewhat and have a good job and a house, but some of the simplest things I have a tough time with.

The whole dp/dr thing seems circular with the anxiety in my case, so I can get at it from alot of different angles.

There's hope.




The internet makes it easier to put a name to it.

[square]

sorry for the double;

and the Americacentic: "Carter Admin."

[Carla]

Hi again!
Thats ok about the double post, I had to read it twice anyway cos I couldnt believe that you have suffered with it for 30 years on and off ????????????? :o :unsure: :roll: How do you cope with it? I suffered a few weeks with it and that was enough. It sounds like you have it in chronic form then. It is prob in your genes if your father suffered with it too. I admire you for being able to carry on with life fully and holding down a good job whilst you have it. When I had it, I would shut myself off a bit and I would go very quiet, which is unusual for me! I found it to be so scary and I really thought I was going to lose my mind. I used to worry about losing my mind until someone said to me that if I lost it, then I wldnt know about it anyway, and that made me relax about it lol Do you have dp/dr constantly? Have you ever took medication for it? 30 years? Poor you! I am still in shock!!! :o
Yes I did kind of wonder what the "Carter Admin" meant! lol Sorry :unsure:

[Jay12345]

I suffered with it for 4 years, and it wasn't nice.. espesically when i used to walk downstairs and ill question whether my parents are actually 'there'.. I'm so happy that i'm finally free from anxiety.. i was so bad.. crying everyday for so so long, but forced myself to continue with normal life.. didn't miss a day of college, holding my tiers back, everyday for so long.. I had OCD, depression, the lot!!

[Carla]

Hi Jay
How are you? How did you finally get over your anxiety? Un what ways did you manage to be able to do it? Do you ever have bad days since or is it gone totally?
Hope you dont mind me asking.

[square]

I developed it early on, so it wasn't like I all of a sudden turned "off". There was really never any loss of identity or self, just a fraudulent feeling and this desire to hide from the world to some extant, but still say housed and fed. Now that I understand it a bit better, it was just another way to run away from things.

Never took meds for dp/ dr, but for depression and anxiety - I'm not sure there's a med specifically for it, but there might be.

I wouldn't know what to tell others who have it. Other than to not let it define what they do or who they become. Since I never really understood it, it seemed just like another adventure associated with the usual dilemmas and syndromes.

The worst thing about it for me is that it inhibits positive relationships and as I've gotten older, it's getting more important.

I'm glad you both were able to overcome it.

:)

[Carla]

Hi again
How are you today? It sounds like you are coping really well with dp/dr. I didnt do anythingspecific to overcome it, except I guess, I stopped allowing my anxiety to scare me, I let go of all the fear and replaced negative thoughts with positive ones and all that, and as my anxiety lessened so did the dp/dr. I used to have thoughts that I wld go totally mad and end up in some old victorian pyschiatric hospital in some remote place and that I wld be left there for years until I died.This sounds mad but I really believed that. I told a few people that I know about this and they didnt think I was mad. My therapist said I was castrosphising *spelt wrong!* and that is part of anxiety. Once I talked about how I felt, and got it out in the open, it became so much easier and less scarier. After that my dp/dr just improved and went away on its own. I think it was all related to how my anxious thoughts were making me feel. I am not sure there are any specific medications for dp/dr but I wld have thought anti anxiety ones would help. Why does it inhibit relationships? Does it make it difficult in that people in a rship with you find it hard to cope with you suffering with it?

[Jay12345]

It's very important with derealisation that you accept how you feel, otherwise you'll get nowhere.. The reason why i had derealisation for so long was because i worried about the feeling, so therefore it only strengthened the anxiety and made it worse!. Unfortunity at the time, and not knowing what the hell was going on, i simply paniced about the unreality and i simply could not cope!

The way i overcame this was NOT taking medication.. which i believe only increases the recovery process.. Staying away from it only helped me get better.

Going out as much as i could, whether it was college or with friends made a big impact on the recovery.... At the time I was not aware that i was infact helping myself, exposing myself to the outside world...

The only reason why i left my house was determination, not that i knew it was going to make me better... I believe this to be so important in recovery as it simply makes you realise that you can actually still live a normal life while under this state of mind, and therefore is a step in acceptance..

CBT was something which finished me off.... I was educated and my thoughts were altered... In a way in which if it ever came back i just laugh and think 'it's only a feeling, it means nothing' and it just goes instantly!

I am completely free from anxiety now and i would love to help anyone who is suffering from this.. I will be happy to give adivce! so please feel free to message me....... I log on here everyday! :)

[northstar]

hi everyone!

i've never suffered with DP or DR so i'm sorry that i don't really know how to give advice on this one. but one thing occurred to me last night that i thought i might share.

if any of you attend a meditation or yoga class then you'll know what i'm talking about when i say you might like to try grounding yourself every morning when you wake up. i used to do this a lot when my anxiety was really bad, i had a tendancy to want to escape my body when times were really tough. there were a lot of times when i really didn't want to be here at all so in a way i detatched, like my spirit was far away from my body (if that doesn't sound too crazy!! lol i don't know how to make it clearer).

grouding is basically drawing yourself back into your body and starting your day feeling centered and grounded can be helpful. for those of you who aren't really interested in this kind of stuff this may not really appeal to you, but it's worth trying for anyone who finds themselves feeling outside of their body an awful lot.

i ground myself with a simple exercise by closing my eyes and feeling my feet on the floor. then i imagine my feet are like the roots of a tree going deep down down into the earth and really feeling connected to the planet. it's amazing sometimes i really do feel myself coming back down into my body. sometimes my mum would put her hands on my shoulders and help me out (she's a very earthy, level headed, grounded person) and i swear it was like she was pulling me down from the sky lol. when i open my eyes everything seems a little bit clearer and more real.

you can also practice it while you're walking, try to feel each footstep firmly on the earth. almost like the buddist mindfullness meditation where you try to be present in every moment of your life.

i'm sure if you google it you might find some better techniques or you might find a CD in your local health food shop?

anyway, i'm sorry if this is totally unhelpful. like i said i can't really relate very much to these feelings, but this grounding thing just occurred to me and i thought i would share.

[northstar]

hi everyone!

i've never suffered with DP or DR so i'm sorry that i don't really know how to give advice on this one. but one thing occurred to me last night that i thought i might share.

if any of you attend a meditation or yoga class then you'll know what i'm talking about when i say you might like to try grounding yourself every morning when you wake up. i used to do this a lot when my anxiety was really bad, i had a tendancy to want to escape my body when times were really tough. there were a lot of times when i really didn't want to be here at all so in a way i detatched, like my spirit was far away from my body (if that doesn't sound too crazy!! lol i don't know how to make it clearer).

grouding is basically drawing yourself back into your body and starting your day feeling centered and grounded can be helpful. for those of you who aren't really interested in this kind of stuff this may not really appeal to you, but it's worth trying for anyone who finds themselves feeling outside of their body an awful lot.

i ground myself with a simple exercise by closing my eyes and feeling my feet on the floor. then i imagine my feet are like the roots of a tree going deep down down into the earth and really feeling connected to the planet. it's amazing sometimes i really do feel myself coming back down into my body. sometimes my mum would put her hands on my shoulders and help me out (she's a very earthy, level headed, grounded person) and i swear it was like she was pulling me down from the sky lol. when i open my eyes everything seems a little bit clearer and more real.

you can also practice it while you're walking, try to feel each footstep firmly on the earth. almost like the buddist mindfullness meditation where you try to be present in every moment of your life.

i'm sure if you google it you might find some better techniques or you might find a CD in your local health food shop?

anyway, i'm sorry if this is totally unhelpful. like i said i can't really relate very much to these feelings, but this grounding thing just occurred to me and i thought i would share.

[square]

I agree about accepting it. It's been easy to accept, as it is a condition. Like being warm or cold. It's the attached dilemmas like depression, anxiety, that are more challenging.

But the most difficult part is a distorted self-image or none at all. My opinion and perception of me is much worse than people tell me it is. You end up doubting everything. That's where relationships become tenuous - I keep them all friendly or just let them lapse.

But it's not all bad. There's been some good years in there. Finished college, bought a house. When I look back at it, it's like a film. All eight years LOL of my 5-year degree program seem like a film. The preceding nine years prior to my return are also like a film, but with a totally different person featured.

So, all the "functional things" seems to be in order.

I've never taken meds for dr/ dp. Probably won't. I'll medicate the depression and anxiety though. Never had luck with herbs or supplements, however chamomille and jasmine tea are really working great for me this week. The only reason I made the tea was because I liked the color of the packets.

The "grounding" methodology is great. I do that when I'm taking a walk by the river, listening to the gravel crunching. Watching the water run is relaxing also. I used to do a rustic version of meditation years ago. Maybe I'll try again.

My mother was born into a Buddhist family.

This is tolerable. They'll be some good times for sure. I used to be the career depressed guy. That sucked. Having a sense of humor and being able to laugh at myself has been huge.

Jay's right. It's good to get out. Have lunch with friends. Walk. Shop. Drive.


Thanks for all the kind words.