HookTheCodfish
04-24-2016, 01:32 PM
A few days ago I was professionally diagnosed with ADD. Which explains, well, everything. Including my anxiety.
However, I don't feel any better.
I thought this diagnosis would solve a lifelong identity crisis, and finally explain why I could never do what normal people could. But instead it's made me feel worse, because EVERYONE has ADD. At least it seems that way to me.
I mean every time someone off-handedly mentions "Well I'm ADD," or "Oh, well it's just hard cuz I have ADD," it's almost always a super-normal person who seems to have no trouble with social skills, school, or holding a job. To be fair, a few of them do seem to have the problems I have. For example, I had a manager at work with ADD who said he used to have problems with the law before his diagnosis. And a woman I met on the bus the other day has problems holding a job, due to her ADHD. So them I relate to. But so many of the others who have told me they're ADD were just straight-A geniuses who seem to have no problem controlling their emotions or focusing or socializing. And there are SO DAMN MANY OF THEM. I feel like if I am with any group of people anywhere, at least two people there have ADD.
When I walk down the street every person I see, I can picture saying to me, "Oh, ADD, I have that too!" That woman jogging over there; those teenagers walking into that store; that man walking his dog; that mailman; that waitress; they probably ALL have "ADD." And Anxiety too.
It makes me depressed, because I feel like the doctor may as well have said, "You have the same disorder all of America has these days. What else is new." So still no explanation for why my memory doesn't work or why I can't control my emotions so perfectly like everyone else.
Oh, you have ADD? Well so does that perfect blond new girl we just hired, and SHE doesn't have any trouble smiling nonstop or remembering every detail or focusing perfectly!
Do that many people really have genuine ADD? Or are most of these people just self-diagnosers, misusing the term? Should I start asking people who claim to have ADD whether they have a real diagnosis? It makes me feel like my diagnosis means nothing, when everyone and their dog claims to have it.
"You're not a freak! You just have ADD. Which everyone else on the planet also has. So yeah, actually, you are a freak. Why can't you keep up with the rest of the ADD world?"
However, I don't feel any better.
I thought this diagnosis would solve a lifelong identity crisis, and finally explain why I could never do what normal people could. But instead it's made me feel worse, because EVERYONE has ADD. At least it seems that way to me.
I mean every time someone off-handedly mentions "Well I'm ADD," or "Oh, well it's just hard cuz I have ADD," it's almost always a super-normal person who seems to have no trouble with social skills, school, or holding a job. To be fair, a few of them do seem to have the problems I have. For example, I had a manager at work with ADD who said he used to have problems with the law before his diagnosis. And a woman I met on the bus the other day has problems holding a job, due to her ADHD. So them I relate to. But so many of the others who have told me they're ADD were just straight-A geniuses who seem to have no problem controlling their emotions or focusing or socializing. And there are SO DAMN MANY OF THEM. I feel like if I am with any group of people anywhere, at least two people there have ADD.
When I walk down the street every person I see, I can picture saying to me, "Oh, ADD, I have that too!" That woman jogging over there; those teenagers walking into that store; that man walking his dog; that mailman; that waitress; they probably ALL have "ADD." And Anxiety too.
It makes me depressed, because I feel like the doctor may as well have said, "You have the same disorder all of America has these days. What else is new." So still no explanation for why my memory doesn't work or why I can't control my emotions so perfectly like everyone else.
Oh, you have ADD? Well so does that perfect blond new girl we just hired, and SHE doesn't have any trouble smiling nonstop or remembering every detail or focusing perfectly!
Do that many people really have genuine ADD? Or are most of these people just self-diagnosers, misusing the term? Should I start asking people who claim to have ADD whether they have a real diagnosis? It makes me feel like my diagnosis means nothing, when everyone and their dog claims to have it.
"You're not a freak! You just have ADD. Which everyone else on the planet also has. So yeah, actually, you are a freak. Why can't you keep up with the rest of the ADD world?"