Feeling so frustrated and alone!!!

[Peaches36]

Hi, I'm fairly new to this site. I have posted about pain in my stomach that is really scaring me. I went for a pelvic ultrasound, and just on Thursday an abdominal ultrasound. Both ultrasounds didn't even go near the spot I have pain in. I asked the tech to go over the spot because it seems everyone is missing it and when she did it felt sore. She had me tighten my stomach muscles 3 times and that was that. It hurt to do that though. I've had this mild annoying pain since March 1st. At first it felt like a hard lump that was painful to touch. It's on the lower part of my belly to the right like an inch from my belly button and an inch down. My pcp has pushed all over my stomach, they did labs for all inflammation points including red and white blood count and all was normal. I have no other symptoms other than I can feel like a slight burning and annoying cramp inside and when I lay down and push there is a small spot that feels like a bruise when I push on it. I have no other issues! So after the tests came back normal they are making me go see a GI doc and said I may need a colonoscopy. I have been asking since March for a CT scan because this all started 2 days after I lifted my treadmill and dragged it across my house to set it up. I never felt pain when I did it but I did a very brisk walk/run on it that day and that night this is when I noticed this. I can exercise and do sit ups without a problem. I did notice last night laying on my couch I flexed the muscles and it hurt a little. Now, I do have health anxiety and it's getting worse with age. I never had it until I had kids. I think the responsibility I have now plus the fact I have zero family to help or even watch my kids if i need it scares me. My husband works 3 jobs so I'm always home alone with the kids. I feel like a single mom most of the time. My mom lives over an hour away and we talk on the phone. See my grandmother died of colon cancer so the minute I heard colonoscopy I panicked. I've been getting panic attacks and can't get out of my own way. I'm crying and thinking the worst. I do see a therapist for it and that helps but unfortunately I had to cancel my appointment because my child was sick. I'm just wondering if anyone has ever experienced this kind of pain where I have it? Could it be intestinal? I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on how to ease my fears? My pcp is on vacation and I've been dealing with the medical assistant who is rude and never returns my phone calls. I also called a few GI doctors and no one has an appointment until August! I've tried talking to my mom but she doesn't understand health anxiety. If I hear "oh you're fine" one more time I'm going to scream! So thank you to all that took the time to read this and I hope someone will talk to me. I feel so alone :(

[aml0017]

Hi Peaches, sorry that you are having such a hard time. I can totally understand why you would be anxious especially regarding the history of colon cancer in your family. That is a real worry, but it doesn't mean that is what you have. I would think dragging a treadmill across the house could cause any manner of pulled muscles..which in that area would take a while to heal due to constant use of the abdominal area when moving around. Constant tension from anxiety probably doesn't help.

I am not try to dismiss your fears at all... Your worries are real. You are doing all you can do by continuing to get tests and talking to the doctor. Continue to do so until you are satisfied. If it is something more serious then it needs to be discovered so you can deal with it. However it is no use imagining every worst case scenario. The worrying won't change the reality one bit as I'm sure you know.

I don't suffer from health anxiety per se, but i have definitely worried about my health a lot. Sometimes it was nothing and sometimes not. But any health issues I've had never were as bad as I imagined. About a year ago I had the worst pain in my side, it was so excruciating I went to the emergency room. All the time waiting to get the results I nearly passed out thinking I would die... That it was cancer etc. Finally.. It was a kidney stone.. I'd just have to pass it. Weirdly my anxiety just went away from knowing that. Our minds are our own worst enemy.

[Peaches36]

Hi aml0017, thank you for replying and taking the time to read this. Everytime I've had something bother me and thought the worst it was never even close. I've had my step dad who was an EMT tell me it's either a hernia or pulled muscle/ligament, my husband, my mom and a friend all said it sounds like something was pulled. I've been taking ibuprofen and it helps a little. I tried a heating pad and that works but not a permanent solution. I think i've talked this subject to death with people. Unfortunately, my mom thinks I'm crazy, my step dad and I don't talk much on the phone and my friend is states away. I'm hoping it's nothing serious but I'm waiting for my doctor to call to discuss the next steps. Even my husband said if I've had 2 ultrasounds and all labs done it can't be anything too serious. So we shall see. I'm still nervous but starting to feel better. My first reaction is to freak out then it takes a few days for me to say okay stop thinking that. Once I find out what it is I'm sure I wil feel better. It's the not knowing I hate.

[gracelight935]

It is tough- not knowing what you are facing, if anything at all. I'm a single mom who was diagnosed with and ultimately cured of thyroid cancer- I know the fears you have, both spoken and unspoken... the words you can't come to make yourself say aloud. It's a scary place to be- my heart goes out to you. First, try to refocus on the facts you have for the time being- if you don't have enough facts, wait to dwell on them until you have more answers. Once you know more, you'll be able to focus on treatment- maybe it's just a pulled ligament, maybe more... but there will be a treatment and you will get through it. Being proactive in your healthcare is important, and it sounds like you're asking all the right questions. My faith was a great source of encouragement for me, read Philippians 4:6-7 if you like- I hope all turns out well for you and that you find some peace.

[Peaches36]

It is tough- not knowing what you are facing, if anything at all. I'm a single mom who was diagnosed with and ultimately cured of thyroid cancer- I know the fears you have, both spoken and unspoken... the words you can't come to make yourself say aloud. It's a scary place to be- my heart goes out to you. First, try to refocus on the facts you have for the time being- if you don't have enough facts, wait to dwell on them until you have more answers. Once you know more, you'll be able to focus on treatment- maybe it's just a pulled ligament, maybe more... but there will be a treatment and you will get through it. Being proactive in your healthcare is important, and it sounds like you're asking all the right questions. My faith was a great source of encouragement for me, read Philippians 4:6-7 if you like- I hope all turns out well for you and that you find some peace.

Thank you so much. I'm going for an MRI now. My doctor doesn't believe it's anying intestinal but she isn't sure what it could be. I just want to know so it can be treated.

[gracelight935]

Great! Can't wait to hear what they say, if you feel like sharing!