Need some help.

[InNeedOfHelp]

I hope this is the right place to put this, if its not im sorry, but i have been feeling different for a while and dunno what to do.

i dont even know if you can call this anxiety, but...

My grandpa died a few years ago, and my grandma died last year. and now im afraid my mom is going to die. she is my best friend, and i just feel like if she dies, i will have no one left, cause the family isnt as close as it was before grandma and grandpa died, ya know? like, they dont come around as much.

anyways, can someone please help me a little? Like i dont feel like this every day, like sometimes its 2 weeks constantly, then one week free, then next two weeks.....

sometimes i just feel like crying for no reason, im tired alot more than i was, and i keep getting headaches since i have been feeling this way.

i really dont want anyone to tell me to go to theropy or counseling, cause i dont have that kind of money.

anyone have any good tips?

[northstar]

hallo there,

i'm sorry you've had such a hard time the last couple of years, it's difficult to see loved ones die :( i think it sounds like you are grieving for those you have lost, which is totally natural. it's normal to feel bad when stuff like this happens. but it begins to become a problem when it starts to take over your life for quite a long time. and as much as you love your mom, it is also important for you to feel safe and secure on your own, its important for all of us to feel like that. it's good to have support and depend on people but its not good if worrying about loosing that person is making you miserable and changing your personality.

you need to speak about it with someone and start dealing with your sorrow and worries. keeping them inside will only make you feel bad. i know you say you don't have the money for a counsellor, but that's what i thought for a long time until i realised that my mental health is just as important as my physical health. if you had a physical problem you'd go to your doctor, it's the same when your mind needs some TLC :) you don't have to go every week, you can arrage visits whenever you like, it could even be as little as once a month, it's all up to you.

there are other things that you can do also. you can try looking around in your area to see if there are any bereavement groups that you can join for support and help. your GP might be able to direct you to one if you ask. speaking about it with your doctor can be very helpful, they are there for you if you just ask. if you are religious you can go speak to your priest or pastor or whomever leads the community in your area, they are also there for your support and should be able to send you in the right direction. they deal with bereavement all the time as part of their job, i'm sure they can offer advice, or tell you if there are any groups connected to the church or community that you can join.

i would also suggest that you open up to your mom about how you are feeling, talking to her about your vulnerability may help you to release some of the pain. she is your mom afterall, she wouldn't like to see you suffering alone :)

the important thing is that you start dealing with how you feel and learning how to cope. be good to yourself and start reaching out for the things you need. start taking care of yourself. it's ok to need the help and support of others during difficult times and it's so important to start taking care of your mental health. again i'm so sorry you lost people you love, it's one of the worst feelings i know. i really hope that you find what you need and that you're feeling better soon. feel free to share with us here on these boards and tell us how you're doing :console:

[northstar]

i also just realised that if you're in school or college there should be free or reduced rate counsellors that you can talk to there? it's worth checking out. my job also provides a free counselling service for it's staff, so it's worth checking out what your employer offers if you're working either. look around for all your options :)

[Jay12345]

Hey there.. Naturally, after a traumatic event it may take a few months for one to calm down, but depending on the individual this maybe more.. It seems that you have a fear of your mother dieing, and this was caused after the death of your grandma.

It's exactly the same if you imagine someone having car crash, which may result in them being scared of driving for sometime, like 'post dramatic stress' but they soon begin to drive again after a few weeks. The principle is the same, perhaps not on as bigger scale, but you know what i mean, just because it's not anything that has happened to you directly.. you will still feel exactly the same in your mind! Your scared about the same thing happening to another close relative...

It seems that you are a little anxious at the moment, If i was to have any adivce for you it would simply be to just keep your mind occupied as well you can, whether it's college work or going out with your friends and naturally, you brain will settle, and the thoughts will decrease! :)

Good luck my friend, keep us informed with your progress! :)

[brittypixi]

try to understand that what you are feeling is completely natural and that it will pass, you just have got to give it some time. i know that the fear of losing a loved one is scary and something that you dont want to have to deal with, but dealing with it will only make you stronger. i know you dont want to hear to get therapy, i understand how expensive it is. for example, our deductible for mental health is $3000, so we pay for every visit, and our family really really doesnt have the money for it either. talking on forums may help a bit though and there are support groups that you can look into that are completely free. at least look into it, because it could be of great benefit to you.