I'm blamed for everything.

[Anonymous777]

My mom blames me for everything, even though it has nothing to do with me. oK sometimes it may have something to do with me, but otherwise, if my mom drops something or the tv doesn't work or she'll blame it on me since i had the remote control before her i must've pressed something and ruined it.. If i put a dirty dish inside the empty sink she starts screaming at the top of her lungs and tells me to wash it. i'm constantly on edge that she's gonna tell me something else. She'll say something negative and i get mad at it everyday.
For example today i was storing the groceries inside the fridge and i found a dirty dish on the counter so i put it in the sink, she came inside the kitchen and started fussing saying "she's doing this again. What did she do?!" about me. My mom doesn't say my name, she just talks about me like I'm somewhere else. Honestly, it just pisses me off. This happens 24/7. Its the same thing. Also my mother says that once everything reaches me, it ruins or its always too late. If a store is out of something then its my fault because i asked for the product the wrong way or if my teacher says no we don't have this schedule, we'll have it later, then they do its just that I'm not being persistent thats why its my fault. When we're at the grocery store she points to every product or food and asks me do i want it. I tell her if i want something i can get it or i'll ask. Otherwise we have a good relationship.

P.S I feel bad because i yelled at her for it and told her to f**k off. :(

What should i tell her so it can stop? I know everyone will read this but no one answers my posts.

[brfoo]

Dear Anonymous,

I think most of the time she yells at you it is not beacuse you did something wrong, but because maybe it is a way for her to reduce her stress level or issues. I know it is not much of help, but if you put yourself in her shoes and try to find out how she feels maybe you would get a different view on the situation. Meanwhile, try to help around the house more, so she cannot say you are not doing anything and please stay strong. When you feel down, try to listen to positive message meditation or guided meditation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFvelHlN9Rw) that could boost your self esteem. Take notice of your progress in housework, studies, volunteer work, hobbies or whatever you are interested in so it will help you be proud of yourself. Nothing lasts forever and eventually you will once move out to lead your own life, try to concentrate on that so you will be able to bring out the best from yourself :)

I know it is hard, but when an unjust situation happens, instead of yelling back at her, try to observe the situation as an outsider, maybe it would reveal more to you than you would think. If both of you are calm, it would worth a try to talk about it. Reassuring that you love her and know she wants the best for you, try to tell her your feelings and how it makes you feel. And also ask about her feelings as well. I know it is hard, but you need to let her know in a calm way. It is very important to take breaks when you feel you are getting angry. It is not about hurting each other, it is about working on the situation, which is sometimes hard for stressed people, but slowly it will get better, just don't let anger take hold of you.

I am really rooting for you! Please try to stay calm and focused, you have a beautiful and rich future ahead of you :)