How to hold a job? :(

[brfoo]

Hi,

I would like to ask for some tips how you survive the workplace? I try to control it, but sometimes I get way too stressed that I am doing everything completely wrong even if I don't and it drains me a lot. How do you cope with that? I just want to be self-conscious and do things right without worrying. I really need to work, but don't want to get into this "I am total useless and can't do it, it will be a disaster" cycle again. If you have been there and have some tips how to overcome or battle this nonsense feeling, please share. Thank you very much :)

[Other shoe]

Take that nervous anxious energy and blow people's minds! This is what I do. You aren't doing anything wrong you're just punishing yourself for crap that hasn't happened. You can say you can't do it and get fired, or turn around and say what have I got to lose? Seriously, I've been there. I walked in to work prepared to fail, took my nervous energy and kicked ass. I admitted to my workmates that I was nervous and they loved me! People like to hear that they aren't alone in their fears. You aren't alone in your fears! Only people who have the guts to admit their fears are real.Everyone else is posing as a confident tough guy or has no emotions-ie psychopath. I was always surprised at the true friends I met this way.

[The Intolerable Kid]

If it is an option for you, try working nights. On a typical 2nd shift there can be less pressure as opposed to working during the day.

[brfoo]

Hello,

Thank you for the answers so far. For me currently there are no possibilities for evening jobs. I am job searching, but I got notified that I am among the final runner-ups for a position and after the happines I felt this dark shadow just come over me, what if I do everything wrong and fail the training and stuff... I just want to prevent this somehow, because I have been there and for this year I want to be more succesfull and happier and brave.I take others' opinions too seriously as well so I am trying to learn how to avoid it affecting me way too much and how to care less about what others think of me (In theory it works very well...in life I still have lot of ups and downs). I really try to focus on what Salvator told me to avoid the self-fulfilling prophecy, but when I am caught off-guard with problems I become very nervous and feel stupid and I would like to break it somehow and calm myself down and focus on the problem instead.

Other Shoe, I think you are right about the "punishing yourself for crap that hasn't happened ", I know I need to get more courage. And I am actually really "angry" at myself for making huge problems out of little things, because this way I drain my energy more. Still have to work on dealing with this I guess :)

[salvator here]

I know its been well over a year here, but I just wanted to let you know, brfoo, that I appreciated your help and advice in my thread "Bitterness" (I still re-read it). I didn't have much luck getting a job myself and things went downhill late last year for me, but I'm back on track again now and am trying to stay optimistic that things could change. I'm plan to volunteer this spring at parks and rec teaching children again (I did this for many years and it was so rewarding seeing them smile and learn). I love to teach and am a very patient teacher especially teaching people with disabilities. I just hope they will accept me again as its been a long time and I no longer in 'the know'.

Anyways, I hope you are doing well and things improved for you :)