Too anxious to go to therapy and I don't know what to do

[wintersoldier]

Hey! So, I've been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was about 13, and in the last 8 months (I'm 18 now) everything just got worse and worse. We were on vacation last summer and I started to get panic attacks so bad they lasted hours and I couldn't calm down no matter what and I was shaking 24/7. I stopped sleeping and eating because I felt sick all the time and I had pretty bad nightmares. Those things calmed down over the last few months but now I'm stuck with really severe depression and my anxiety has never been this bad before. Everything gets me anxious. When the phone rings or even when the weather changes. It freaks me out to no end. I haven't left the house in over a month now. I can't handle it. Just thinking about leaving the house gets me panicking. I really want to start therapy. I had three appointments and I didn't go to a single one. The whole night before I'm having panic attacks and right before. I'm shaking so bad I can't even hold a pen. I had the last appointment in the afternoon and my mom was supposed to drive me and I planned it out very careful, but still, I couldn't do it. I was hyperventilating, shaking and crying hysterically. I don't know what to do anymore. How am I supposed to get better when I'm too anxious to go to therapy? Too anxious to even leave the house? I've tried so many things, meditating before leaving the house, distracting myself, planning everything out so that I know exactly whats gonna happen, having people I trust with me, but none of it works.

[jasonx165]

As hard as it may be, you're going to have to force yourself to take the first leap, it may feel like jumping a canyon. But what you really have to think about is the pay off, that is beyond worth it in the end. The therapist will never judge you and will actually help in finding medication that is right for you if needed. You'd be amazed at how much just talking will help. Especially with a professional.

If possible try to see if you can make sure to setup your appointment to where you don't have to wait long by explaining your issue, so you're not waiting for a long time dwelling on things, I know how that feels. I never needed a therapist but I know how that type of anxiety can feel.

[Anne1221]

You can take someone into the room with you just to get started if it makes you feel more comfortable. You can also put some things in writing and just hand it to the therapist. I promise you, it won't be bad. You'll start to talk and then you'll get more and more comfortable. Please go. Take a friend for support if you want. They have seen everything and they are very understanding.

[Anne1221]

Another option is to just open up to your medical doctor when you're in there for a physical problem. Just open up a little. They can get you started too.

[RoderickLariviere]

Try to just open up with your doctor, you will be more comfortable next time. This time take someone into the room and feel free to talk.

[Nowuccas]

Hey wintersoldier,

All I can suggest is that you learn, and practise an anti-anxiety breathing method, so that you can be confident that you could cope with one. Also learn an anti-anxiety technique, such as progressive muscle relaxation, or EFT, and employ it whenever you begin to feel anxious.

Once proficient in them, you could begin venturing outside, just a short distance on the first occasion, then a little further on the next day, and so on.

You may wish to view my previous posts about agoraphobia, panic or anxiety attacks, depression, and generalised anxiety disorder at:

AGORAPHOBIA: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34181-Fear-of-getting-out&p=224994#post224994

ANXIETY or PANIC ATTACKS: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33197-Do-I-have-anxiety-disorder-or-something-worse&p=220006#post220006

DEPRESSION: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?32707-has-this-happend-to-you&p=216510#post216510

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989

Hoping something in the above helps.