At a loss!

[Redstone]

Hi everyone!
I'm new here so I will try and explain the situation as short as possible!
I'm 20 years old, from the age of 15-17 I was receiving counselling for generalised anxiety disorder as well as a phobia of sick! Which now is much better, well was. I'm just in a dark place at the moment, well what feels to be to me. I have a spinal condition which contributes to my anxieties and currently having blood work for extreme fatigued and painful legs, which are currently a mystery. I'm so mentally frustrated because I desperately want to feel like I have the energy of a 20 year old. I currently work 16 hours per week, which is soon to end because my contract ends and I hate it anyway so that's really not helping my anxious mind. I so want to work full time in a job I've always wanted to do, but I feel like I physically and mentally can not. It makes me so unhappy because I have lost motivation to do so, I'm letting pain take over. I am currently awaiting more counselling to help change my negative thinking and constant worrying. She said I'm borderline depressed and have mild/moderate anxiety. I have always been one since the last two years not avoided things, I tend to just get on with things but moan during the process, which is making me unhappy. I get so frustrated because I know my thinking habits are unhealthy and I know what I can do to help, due to learning through doing one year psychology at uni and previous counselling. But I struggle to put it in to practice.

My mom suffers chronic pain, I feel my pain combined with hers is crushing our relationship, she compares herself to me and what she used to do in pain. We moan at one another about pain, we are not getting on just lately at all. She says I'm unkind or only think about myself. Which maybe sometimes it does come across that way but truthfully my moaning is a cry for help in some ways. I wish she understood that yes I struggle to help her because I'm suffering so much mentally and physically myself. I feel like I don't know where I am in life and what is going to become of me. I have such a supportive boyfriend of whom I am grateful for everyday, I guess I'm truly happy when I'm with him. I know I need to find some hobbies too, so if anyone could suggest I'd be grateful,just lately I don't find much enjoyment in things, due to constantly thinking about pain or the way a task may make me feel. Just feeling at a loss, it's nice to just write all of this down!

[Kixxi]

Hi everyone!
I'm new here so I will try and explain the situation as short as possible!
I'm 20 years old, from the age of 15-17 I was receiving counselling for generalised anxiety disorder as well as a phobia of sick! Which now is much better, well was. I'm just in a dark place at the moment, well what feels to be to me. I have a spinal condition which contributes to my anxieties and currently having blood work for extreme fatigued and painful legs, which are currently a mystery. I'm so mentally frustrated because I desperately want to feel like I have the energy of a 20 year old. I currently work 16 hours per week, which is soon to end because my contract ends and I hate it anyway so that's really not helping my anxious mind. I so want to work full time in a job I've always wanted to do, but I feel like I physically and mentally can not. It makes me so unhappy because I have lost motivation to do so, I'm letting pain take over. I am currently awaiting more counselling to help change my negative thinking and constant worrying. She said I'm borderline depressed and have mild/moderate anxiety. I have always been one since the last two years not avoided things, I tend to just get on with things but moan during the process, which is making me unhappy. I get so frustrated because I know my thinking habits are unhealthy and I know what I can do to help, due to learning through doing one year psychology at uni and previous counselling. But I struggle to put it in to practice.

My mom suffers chronic pain, I feel my pain combined with hers is crushing our relationship, she compares herself to me and what she used to do in pain. We moan at one another about pain, we are not getting on just lately at all. She says I'm unkind or only think about myself. Which maybe sometimes it does come across that way but truthfully my moaning is a cry for help in some ways. I wish she understood that yes I struggle to help her because I'm suffering so much mentally and physically myself. I feel like I don't know where I am in life and what is going to become of me. I have such a supportive boyfriend of whom I am grateful for everyday, I guess I'm truly happy when I'm with him. I know I need to find some hobbies too, so if anyone could suggest I'd be grateful,just lately I don't find much enjoyment in things, due to constantly thinking about pain or the way a task may make me feel. Just feeling at a loss, it's nice to just write all of this down!

The worst thing about anxiety is that you cannot force yourself to get better, it just gradually gets better over time. The thing that helped me the most during my worst fits of panic is to realise two things: "it cannot get any worse than this" and "it's just a feeling, it cannot really hurt me".

I can also understand how anxiety can strain family relationships. There have been plenty of arguments here over my anxiety. I try to hide it from the people who do not understand, but do talk about it with people who do. I understand this might not be the perfect answer, but it is how I been able to cope.

[PR83]

Hi Redstone,

For hobbies, look for something where you can "shut your brain off". By this, I mean something you can truly lose yourself in, and forget any issues or problems you are having. For me, it is music, either playing or attending a show and blowing off some steam. Or write, write a journal/poem/song. Experiment with different things until you find something that lets you relax.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Redstone,

See http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Pain+-+chronic

A previous post about vitamin D may be found at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34051-Wobbly-eyesight * with ones on anxiety and depression at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989 & http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?32707-has-this-happend-to-you&p=216510#post216510

I'm not in a position to know, but suggest that you supplement magnesium to see if it helps the leg pain; check out https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=painful+legs%3B+magnesium&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 such as

Leg Pain & Magnesium | LIVESTRONG.COM
www.livestrong.com › Diseases and Conditions
Dec 4, 2015 - You might develop leg pain as a natural consequence of wear and tear, or as the result of a health issue, such as restless leg syndrome.

Do You Need More Magnesium? 10 Signs to Watch For ...
www.ancient-minerals.com › Magnesium Deficiency
by D you Know - ‎Related articles
Symptoms of poor magnesium intake can include muscle cramps, facial tics, poor sleep, and chronic pain. It pays to ensure that you get adequate magnesium ...

You should notice an improvement within 2 weeks if a magnesium deficiency (common; up to 80% of Americans are deficient in it) is the cause. Vitamin D, secondary deficiencies of B group vitamins leading to fatigue is addressed here*.

At http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/v.html there is a post on emetophobia (fear of vomit/ing).

Check out
http://smile.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=pain
such as: Pain: The Science of Suffering (Maps of the Mind), 2002 by Patrick Wall. Also: Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants, by Dr. Paul Brand.

Also check out the many articles at http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=008953293426798287586%3Amr-gwotjmbs&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=pain+management

and

http://www.ehow.com/search.html?s=pain+management&skin=corporate&t=all

and

http://www.google.com/search?q=mercola%3B+pain&hl=en&gbv=2&oq=mercola%3B+pain&gs_l=heirloom-serp.3...8094507.8102578.0.8103505.30.21.0.0.0.0.0 .0..0.0.msedr...0...1ac.1.34.heirloom-serp..30.0.0.1izvWbgbdZU such as
This Pain Relief is 8 Times More Effective Than Morphine - Mercola
articles.mercola.com/.../this-pain-reli...
Similar30 Oct 2008 ... A groundbreaking treatment for pain, eight times stronger than morphine, has
been discovered by scientists. The revolutionary technique ...

Pain clinics recommend changing painkilling medications / analgesics on a daily basis, to prevent tolerance from building up. Kratom (supplies online) is a traditional herbal remedy for pain, from South East Asia; it may be habituating, or addictive for some people, and you could also consider medicinal cannabis, if in one of the twenty four US states that permit it.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones on pain, chronic pain management, asktheinternettherapist.com has one on pain reduction, hypnotictapes.com has ones on pain, ignoring pain, and instant-hypnosis.com also has one on pain. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.

I don't know if omega 3 fish, or krill oil, and optimising vitamin D levels would help, specifically, (by reducing inflammation) but they are worth trying for at least 8 weeks, and maintaining them will boost your immune system and general health.

Take at least 4, and up to 9 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, (high in E.P.A.) or the recommended dose of a high quality of fish, or krill oil daily, like Carlsons, or Melrose: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or its FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it! Basically, if a vitamin supplement shows dl, which is the acronym for dextro-levo, it contains both isomers, and is therefore synthetic in origin. View: http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&so...
Females may benefit by balancing the DHA, & EPA versions of Omega 3 in fish, or krill** oil with ALA flaxseed oil Omega 3, or at least one heaped tablespoonful of ground flaxseed, daily. Vegetarians: Google: "Omega 3; algae; supplies" and use with flaxseed. Use the www.mercola.com ** SEARCHBAR.

A post on negative thoughts appears below.

[Nowuccas]

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:

Nearly everyone has negative thoughts sometimes. Negative thoughts often occur before negative emotions*. It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, etc., by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Use the "Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts" - When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.

After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary.

Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

I'm aware of the opinion that inflicting pain doesn't prevent fear, but the intention is to reprogram, and establish a different way of thinking, by commitment to repetition. It usually takes around 25 to 40 repetitions to establish a new habit.

Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now", or "I choose to be more positive". I prefer: "Focus only on what to do now/next". Recommended reading: Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive by Barbara Fredrickson, & Negaholics: How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around by Chérie Carter-Scott, from your bookstore, or amazon.com

"Even if we have some vague idea that we are not our feelings or our thoughts, when we are experiencing painful feelings or painful thoughts, we believe we have to feel them or think them just because of the fact that they are occurring to us. But painful feelings can be indirectly controlled by physical action, and changing our present thoughts for different thoughts (since feeling occurs as a result of thinking.) Painful thoughts can be directly controlled by choosing replacement thoughts for the ones that are troubling us. Sure, it takes some practice to change a habit. But it can be done. Of course it can't be done if we choose to believe that it can't be done. But, since the choice is ours, why not choose to believe it can be done, and do it?"

Read: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, & Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman, & "Feeling Good." The New Mood Therapy. Harper Collins.1999. ( updated sequel to his US bestseller about treating depression & anxiety; very comprehensive), by David D. Burns, M.D. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about stopping negative thoughts.
Check out http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=008953293426798287586%3Amr-gwotjmbs&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=negative+thoughts such as: "How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts: 9 Steps", & "How to Use Switchwords to Clear Negative Thoughts: 5 Steps".

"I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside" - Dr. Wayne Dyer*.
The key is persistence; over time the frequency and power of the negative thoughts will lessen, but will always recur occasionally, which is normal, and healthy.

You could try painting; possibly abstract art to express yourself and keep mental activity outside undesirable parts of the brain.

Hoping something in the above helps. If you find that the above helps you with pain, show this to your mother.

[virtualhope]

I’m sorry for the physical and emotional pain you’ve been experiencing. My heart goes out to you. Being in this situation would be hard on anyone, but especially when you’re young and should be living a vibrant life, it’s even more difficult.
Do you have any friends at work that could be an additional support system?

And yes, I think activities can be a great distraction and temporary relief from some types of pain. So how exploring about hobbies? What are some things that interest you or that you are really passionate about? When you’re in pain, it’s hard to think about much else, that’s true. But, if there were some things you would like to do on a daily basis, if work, pain or anything else were not in the way, what would that be?

[Redstone]

Thanks to everyone for your replies!
Virtualhope...
Unfortunately I don't have anyone at work, I now work four hours per week as I left my other job due to pain sadly as I'm struggling for money!
I've started bracelet making, and I try out those mindful colouring books, but looking down triggers off my neck pain! My animals are my true enjoyment and probably the only thing which truly makes me happy and live in the moment.

[James88]

One of the best things I've found is writing about it. Be honest with yourself and your readers. Also, find someone that you can talk to that will understand and not judge you. You don't need someone to tell you that it's all in your head, but someone that will actually listen. Being able to articulate what you're feeling helps a TON.