Scared about being bad person.

[Love_will_save_us]

Hello everybody I suffer from anxiety I had panic attacks and possibly have OCD but not sure about that.At this moment I am very anxious because of one thing.Two days ago before go to sleep I was looking in facebook and spot a post about how to recognize narcissist.When I open it I start to doubt if I am narcissist or no.I have some symptoms like liking how I look (main reason for this is before I was skinny and work really hard to look good now) wanted to be successful and some more.I did some tests I had 23 point of 40 and under the test was written even if you have the max 40 score that does not mean you are narcissist 100 %.I watched many videos in youtube about these type of psychopaths and what they are doing to their loved ones.I've never enjoy to watch my girlfriend suffer I am not impulsive I DONT WANT TO HURT NOBODY I feel guilt, empathy narcissists don't.Because of my OCD symptoms I am even scared to dont hurt someone when I am driving my car or when I go shooting etc..On xmas I am staying afraid wondering what to do this is really hell xmas for me .Now I have girlfriend I want the best for her but sometimes I think maybe I must sacrifice myself and stop these wrong depressive genetics in me.Sorry for the poor english I am not English .

Good luck to all of you I wish you all the best and inner peace !

[Im-Suffering]

if you were a true narcissist you would not recognize it. so put that concern to bed.

who in your life told you that you need to sacrifice yourself, or that you have depressive genetics? or that you need to be saved?

whoever that was (or a group), you can look to (blame) for your current line of thinking. you were 'conditioned' to believe you are somehow deficient in character or 'bad' and need saving from yourself. more than likely from people or person who hated themselves, or they were the narcissist. this type of belief system of self loathing is generational (passed down), and psychological.

all of it is ofcourse bullshit. love is not something you strive for, that can save you. you were born loving (and still are) underneath all that false conditioning or abuse.

find and heal the abuse in your psyche, the trauma left by others, (forgive them), release those energies, and your anxiety will go away, leaving only love, which was always there in the first place.

[Love_will_save_us]

Hello mate! Are you sure If I was true narcissist I would not recognize this ? IF this is true this is big help and relief for me! Thank you for your comment !

[Im-Suffering]

yes sir ! so let it go. (and dont look for something else wrong to replace it with)

and listen to the rest of my post. find out the reason you are struggling with your thoughts.

[Love_will_save_us]

Thank you so much!
I suspect two things !

1 -Maybe I have OCD mixed with anxiety (or my anxiety cause OCD symptoms in me) and depression or something like that.
2 - DO not work anything important that can help others and I have time to think what is wrong with me.

Your nick name is Im-Suffering what is your biggest problem? I want to help you like you help me ! Maybe I will know something.

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you so much!
I suspect two things !

1 -Maybe I have OCD mixed with anxiety (or my anxiety cause OCD symptoms in me) and depression or something like that.
2 - DO not work anything important that can help others and I have time to think what is wrong with me.

Your nick name is Im-Suffering what is your biggest problem? I want to help you like you help me ! Maybe I will know something.

thanks. and thanks for the friend request :) everything you do is important, everything has meaning. just the fact that you are alive on earth adds meaning inherently to all of life, this is your birthright. you really dont have to worry about what to do, just be you.

you offered me help, and this makes me feel good, and smile. there is nothing more meaningful than that, you changed the world from your own little corner in space, and you were just being you, without all the self judgment, you see?

[Jeffro]

This post hit home with me. I can totally relate.