Am I Losing It? Unsure of what to do Anymore...

[Belvin]

Hello All,

First time using this forum. Hopefully somebody can offer some insight or relatability. I know I need to consult a professional, but I am just curious if anyone has any problems similar to me, and I just want to know I'm not going mad. (lol...)

I am a 20 year old male and I can't stop thinking I'm going to die from an illness. Tuesday will be my 6th trip to my GP in the last two years, the third concerning my recent bout with "lung cancer".

The past year, I have had this horrible phenomoenon where I feel like I can't get enough air, so I continually strive for deep breaths, until I finally get one. Then I will be ok, and the cycle will repeat a minute later. I developed a weird pain in my collar bone afterward. This led me to my worry of lung cancer. My doctor initially told me it was probably stress, but after my third time back, he allowed me to get a chest x-ray. I get the result Tuesday. Says it's probably nothing, but I can hardly function waiting for the results. Impossible to focus.

Prior to this, I had a period where I convinced myself I had a brain tumor. I had insane headaches for a year or so - as bad as a migraine sometimes. Kept going to the doctor, kept saying it was nothing. Those seem to have stopped... Before that (2 years ago), I went to the ER for stomach pain, which I thought was deadly, and it turned out to be LITERALLY nothing. I still have terrible stomach pains in the morning, usually, as well. In between all this, I've thought I'm a schizophrenic, or had some sort of dillusions, to the point where I've convinced myself I am hearing or seeing thnigs. UGH.

I have always been anxious, but these last three years have been dreadful. The weeks or monthS leading up to the doctor's visits cosist of me worrying about little symptoms, until I'll finally get my mind on something, and then it'll just take off from there. There is hardly any time where I don't think I've got something. I even sprained my finger, and it was taking so long to heal that I thought I was going to lose my hand, so I made another appointment. It's just becoming unbearable.

I have a fair deal of daily anxiety and depression too. Sleep sucks. I luckilly have things I still want to accompish, which keeps me going. I don't like the idea of medication and have never taken any, but I think I may have to try it out. Thoughts on that?

Anyone else had to deal with something similar?

Thanks.

[Estelle2008]

Hello All,

First time using this forum. Hopefully somebody can offer some insight or relatability. I know I need to consult a professional, but I am just curious if anyone has any problems similar to me, and I just want to know I'm not going mad. (lol...)

I am a 20 year old male and I can't stop thinking I'm going to die from an illness. Tuesday will be my 6th trip to my GP in the last two years, the third concerning my recent bout with "lung cancer".

The past year, I have had this horrible phenomoenon where I feel like I can't get enough air, so I continually strive for deep breaths, until I finally get one. Then I will be ok, and the cycle will repeat a minute later. I developed a weird pain in my collar bone afterward. This led me to my worry of lung cancer. My doctor initially told me it was probably stress, but after my third time back, he allowed me to get a chest x-ray. I get the result Tuesday. Says it's probably nothing, but I can hardly function waiting for the results. Impossible to focus.

Prior to this, I had a period where I convinced myself I had a brain tumor. I had insane headaches for a year or so - as bad as a migraine sometimes. Kept going to the doctor, kept saying it was nothing. Those seem to have stopped... Before that (2 years ago), I went to the ER for stomach pain, which I thought was deadly, and it turned out to be LITERALLY nothing. I still have terrible stomach pains in the morning, usually, as well. In between all this, I've thought I'm a schizophrenic, or had some sort of dillusions, to the point where I've convinced myself I am hearing or seeing thnigs. UGH.

I have always been anxious, but these last three years have been dreadful. The weeks or monthS leading up to the doctor's visits cosist of me worrying about little symptoms, until I'll finally get my mind on something, and then it'll just take off from there. There is hardly any time where I don't think I've got something. I even sprained my finger, and it was taking so long to heal that I thought I was going to lose my hand, so I made another appointment. It's just becoming unbearable.

I have a fair deal of daily anxiety and depression too. Sleep sucks. I luckilly have things I still want to accompish, which keeps me going. I don't like the idea of medication and have never taken any, but I think I may have to try it out. Thoughts on that?

Anyone else had to deal with something similar?

Thanks.
Hello, I am sorry that you also feel this way...but if it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way :( I am new to this, I have been suffering with this for a little bit now, not exactly sure how long as it feels like forever!! :( I would like to say 3 years ago as that is when my dad lost his battle to depression and committed suicide :'( But every day since I have felt like I am getting sick with something or everything :( Today for instance is suppose to be a fun day with my 2 young boys and my husband...but instead I woke up with a pounding headache and have been pretty much panicking all day!! My vision always feels "off", but I have had my eyes tested and all they see are a "cobweb" every now and then and they can't really explain it as they say you get there from high blood pressure or high blood sugar and I have had my doctor check both out and he says it's my anxiety that makes my bp go up which in turn makes my heart rate go up and then I start to full on panic! I do suffer from migraines, but I too do not like to take medications so as of right now I am not on any besides my birth control :( I have tried a lot, I tried the cbt, it seemed to work, but it takes work and I guess I am just looking for a miracle drug to just fix this! I have always been a happy go lucky girl, always loved life and everything it has to offer and now...I have 2 boys 3 & 7 and I am scared to death this will happen to them.
I hope this isn't scaring you, but it felt good to read your post and see that I am not the only one who suffers with this.

[Love_will_save_us]

Hello ! This is your anxiety.If you have brain tumor you will have pain that is constant It will never stop not just periods of pain.Start to train like a animal you are male this will change your life.Many of your anxiety will die in training for some you must work.Humans do not die so easy !
Good luck

[halmat]

We have this crazy defense system that is much more appropriate for days when humanoids had to be on constant guard against the wild beasts surrounding them. You need to re-program your defenses so you can stop fearing the little things. Your fear is very real. Fear is fear no matter the cause. It makes perfect sense that because the amygdala is on high alert, any little thing will draw your attention and be easily mis-perceived as a threat requiring your body and mind to be tense with anticipation.

I was always worrying about my heart during my many years with panic disorder. Constantly tensed muscles can create aches and pains; struggling for breath can stretch ligaments and cause a slight pain sensation, etc..... It's anxiety and you need to learn all you can about your particular form. Start doing research today, including of the appropriate therapy for issues such as yours... and then start therapy. If you devote as much energy to recovery as you apparently do to symptoms, you should be free of irrational thoughts soon. You can do it.... Hal

[Crystal8187]

Anxiety is like a fight or flight issue that I also have had I went to my docs checked my blood levels and I was low on vitamin d this all happened in May I started taking supplements among exercising and yoga and eating well (no fast food) and I feel so much better supplements are cheap why not try it

[Crystal8187]

Anxiety plays you like mad crazy sometimes I even thought I saw things and it was all in my head or that dang feeling of hearing that type white noise and it's all in your head it was terrible and believe me cause I'm a women and my hormones change monthly so every month it got worse thank goodness I had my blood checked

[Im-Suffering]

It should occur to all of you at some point, and I will mention it here to stimulate your own thinking, that anxiety is not the cause (thus your looking for a solution in the wrong place), but the symptom of excessive worry, which is a psychological occurance, prior to any physical symptoms.

Thinking carefully, you can trace back a history of worry to childhood with possibly over protective parent or an emergency that literally shocked your psyche. Or maybe it was telepathic meaning your parent did not show it, but was constantly worried internally, where you picked up the 'vibes'. Either way, it's always the worry first, over often years prior to any actual symptoms.

Imaginative precognition is your enemy in any case and not your bodies which only mimic what you focus on over time.

Now, worry is a fear of uncontrollable events, including powerless feelings that you have no control over your life. Excessive worry is the plight of the land and burdens or overtaxed the bodily equilibrium. Worry is not 'natural' in the sense that the ego becomes fearful of its day to day survival, whatever the problem. The way forward is to clear the path by clearly seeing the reason for the worry, and recapitulation of your life. The worry is just a ghost, you see, and looking back or facing it, releasing the reasons for it, is the only true way, you understand.

Yes, it takes work and some courage to face your beliefs. The worry may have begun as financial problems, health concerns or disease in the family, over identification with the body, an overly cautious over protective parent that rushed you to the doctor over the slightest bruise, or a parent who constantly checked your body for lumps let's say, because his or her parent died of the disease he or she is checking you for. You will discover many reasons as you begin to look back without a bias eye, just to uncover memories that may have been buried in the subconscious, but to this day creating your thoughts or setting the framework for your current reality.

[Belvin]

Wow! Thank you so much for the replies everyone. I seriously can't understate how much they mean. I feel a lot better today. I still get caught in rumination which leads to the breathing problem, but when I do think about it, I look back to my doctor's diagnosis and these replies, and know that if I just keep moving I am going to be ok, and hopefully the thoughts can fade altogether. Crazy that the mind can wreak havoc on the physical body.

Anyhow, thank you all so much. I hope you had/are having a great holiday. If anyone has similar breathing issues, feel free to pm me, as I have tried some strategies that are helping.

[Belvin]

Hey Halmat,

Just curious... what all can I figure out prior to going to a doc? Is there any way that I can get an idea on my "particular form" and the type of therapy that would go with it? I don't want to jump from doctor to doctor and not accomplish anything. I heard CBT is usually a good option. Any other ideas?

[snowberry]

Hi Belvin, feeling as if you can't breathe, or that you can't take a full breath, is extremely common for anxiety sufferers. It's a sensation I've felt myself many a time. It's deeply unpleasant but there's nothing physically wrong with you. If you weren't getting enough air, you'd pass out.

What can help is to try hard not to concentrate on your breathing. Another is to remember that you're still getting oxygen even if it feels like you're struggling, which should abate your worries somewhat.

[Belvin]

For anyone that is curious...

Got the results of the x-ray back, and everything looks fine says the doc. Unfortunately, this hasn't abated my worries. Almost made it worse, because now I'm thinking, well, what if they just missed it, and now I could innocently go along for a year, while I am slowly dying. It's like I refuse to let myself believe anything other than what I don't want to hear - that I have c***** and I am dying (which doesn't make much sense. almost like I want to have the illness just so I can KNOW). I have convinced myself. Really trying hard to not go back and get a CT scan or just go to the ER.

I hope everyone is having a good day. Thanks for taking the time to reply.