Anybody else scared to use the cafeterias at their school/work alone?

[AceParadox]

I've always been this way. Unless I have a friend with me or something, I won't use the cafeteria at work, even though it's super nice. It's basically a buffet, with different parts offering different kinds of food, and it's all delicious from what I see.

The weird thing is I feel like if I try to go get stuff, I'll do it wrong somehow, and everyone around will think I'm an idiot. And trying to find a place to sit in the crowded sea of people as well, all them eyes staring. It always gets me. I can't seem to get into my head "Don't care what anyone thinks, just do it".

Anyone else have this and have developed ways to deal? x.x

[bizcoach]

I've always been this way. Unless I have a friend with me or something, I won't use the cafeteria at work, even though it's super nice. It's basically a buffet, with different parts offering different kinds of food, and it's all delicious from what I see.

The weird thing is I feel like if I try to go get stuff, I'll do it wrong somehow, and everyone around will think I'm an idiot. And trying to find a place to sit in the crowded sea of people as well, all them eyes staring. It always gets me. I can't seem to get into my head "Don't care what anyone thinks, just do it".

Anyone else have this and have developed ways to deal? x.x

Yes

Drive throughs

[gadguy]

I've always been this way. Unless I have a friend with me or something, I won't use the cafeteria at work, even though it's super nice. It's basically a buffet, with different parts offering different kinds of food, and it's all delicious from what I see.

The weird thing is I feel like if I try to go get stuff, I'll do it wrong somehow, and everyone around will think I'm an idiot. And trying to find a place to sit in the crowded sea of people as well, all them eyes staring. It always gets me. I can't seem to get into my head "Don't care what anyone thinks, just do it".

Anyone else have this and have developed ways to deal? x.x

True, but from putting yourself out there...you will find that people do not care what you are doing or how you are doing it...they are much to wrapped up in themselves to think about it. I learned this about my 2nd week in the gym. These most folks are to busy looking at their &(*&*( $$&^&* phones to even realize there is anyone else in the room.

[Anne1221]

OK, you have got to do this! Think about the last store you went to, or restaurant you went to. What did you notice about the people around you? Nothing probably. You need to go in there and just get one thing and sit down and eat it. Then you will walk out and think, "That was no big deal. I can do this again." There is no right or wrong way to go to a cafeteria. Please do this!

[Anne1221]

Of course, it's easy for me to say because I don't have social anxiety. But if you told me to ride a roller coaster, I'd say, NO way.

[Fahrenheit]

I was going to come here and say, 'be comforted by the probability that no one is thinking about you at all' but everyone has already said it because it is true. When I realized that I am the only one scrutinizing my every move, it was liberating. I still get self-conscious, and feel like I am being watched sometimes when I probably am not, but I just tell myself that. After a while, that sense that you can actually FEEL people paying attention goes away. For example, there is this small, quiet Japanese bakery I like to go to. The first time I went and had a seat to read, I felt very self-conscious, like the staff was very aware I was there because it seemed like most people bought their goods and left and that staying for a long time was unusual. I couldn't concentrate on my book at first because I had that feeling of 'being watched' even though intellectually I knew no one was interested enough to pay attention to the fact that I am sitting quietly and reading. Why would they? Soon someone sat down at the next table to study. After the first 10 minutes I was less self-conscious and could enjoy myself. ;)

You just have to recognize that no one really cares (in a good way) because they are all doing their own thing, and then sit through the part where you feel awkward anyway. Eventually, it will probably go away. Even if you feel super self-conscious for the whole first meal, keep practicing.

Good luck!

[The Intolerable Kid]

Nope. I prefer to have lunch alone, much more desirable that a room packed full of people.

[Breez]

I've always been this way. Unless I have a friend with me or something, I won't use the cafeteria at work, even though it's super nice. It's basically a buffet, with different parts offering different kinds of food, and it's all delicious from what I see.

The weird thing is I feel like if I try to go get stuff, I'll do it wrong somehow, and everyone around will think I'm an idiot. And trying to find a place to sit in the crowded sea of people as well, all them eyes staring. It always gets me. I can't seem to get into my head "Don't care what anyone thinks, just do it".

Anyone else have this and have developed ways to deal? x.x

You remind me of myself when I first went out to order a hamburger all by myself. I was so nervous that I tripped over three times, trying to say "Supreme Bacon Cheese Burger". It might sound funny now but at that moment I was so scared and embarrassed that I wanted to evaporate right where I was standing. I was certain everyone was snickering at me behind my back and I looked around the store for the slightest lip movement or a pity glance to confirm my suspicion. But I found none. Everybody either was too busying eating/chatting with each other or waiting for their numbers to be called. Now I've got no problem going to the store alone and order extra curly fries with the supreme bacon cheese burger in one breath.

There is a first time for everything. And it is OK to fail as long as you continue to come back and do it again. I promise that you'll get it and perhaps even enjoying going alone from time to time. You can do it. Best wishes!

[RoderickLariviere]

I've always been this way. Unless I have a friend with me or something, I won't use the cafeteria at work, even though it's super nice. It's basically a buffet, with different parts offering different kinds of food, and it's all delicious from what I see.

The weird thing is I feel like if I try to go get stuff, I'll do it wrong somehow, and everyone around will think I'm an idiot. And trying to find a place to sit in the crowded sea of people as well, all them eyes staring. It always gets me. I can't seem to get into my head "Don't care what anyone thinks, just do it".

Anyone else have this and have developed ways to deal? x.x

But no one is looking at you, its just in your mind. Normally in restaurants and cafeterias, everyone in busy in their own and many of them make mistakes. Don't be scared and just concentrate on your food.