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View Full Version : Is a familly member faking it?



Ravenholt
10-26-2015, 02:28 PM
Hi folks, first post here.

I'va had SAD for as long as I can remember but I've managed to hold a job. I keep my interactions at a minimum and don't go out much at all. Lately, a familly member revealed that they also have social anxiety (before it was depression, drugs, whatever he would self diagnose with).

Here's the thing. I've always know him as hating work. He lives at home and doesn't pay any bills and just relies on his 62 year old mother to pay everything. He's almost 35. I think what urks me the most is I know how hard it is to get over and I feel like he's just using this for attention and monetary gain. He's trying reall hard to get a pension so he never has to work ever again.

Why do I really think it's all BS? Well... He's incredibly outgoing. He would go to theatres and parties everyday if that was possible. He calls me boring for not going out much. Brags about how good he feels on the pills, brags about how going to the mall while on drugs (not the pill) is super fun. Those are all things that would send me in a panic. He's also never had a single anxiety attack. I think that he's dreading any form or resposibility and will fake it as long as possible. Same thing his father did. He strongly believes people should feel good 100% of the time otherwise you're not normal. He says the pills make all his anxiety go away and feels great. Then why not work and support your familly?

He's incredibly narcissistic. All he talks about is himself and the mondaine crap he does everyday at home. It's always the same stories and it's so boring. He has 0 interest in what's going on with other people's lives. The conversation has to be about him or he zones out with disinterest.

My familly has a history of skytzophrenia and I think that's likely what's going on here.

Sorry people, just needed to vent. It's getting so hard not to call him out on this. I'm not saying he doesn't have mental illness, but I do think he's using this just to get the attention, drugs and money.

Has anyone gone through this? Should I say anyything? I'm at a point where I don't even want to speak with him.

NixonRulz
10-26-2015, 04:59 PM
Hi folks, first post here.

I'va had SAD for as long as I can remember but I've managed to hold a job. I keep my interactions at a minimum and don't go out much at all. Lately, a familly member revealed that they also have social anxiety (before it was depression, drugs, whatever he would self diagnose with).

Here's the thing. I've always know him as hating work. He lives at home and doesn't pay any bills and just relies on his 62 year old mother to pay everything. He's almost 35. I think what urks me the most is I know how hard it is to get over and I feel like he's just using this for attention and monetary gain. He's trying reall hard to get a pension so he never has to work ever again.

Why do I really think it's all BS? Well... He's incredibly outgoing. He would go to theatres and parties everyday if that was possible. He calls me boring for not going out much. Brags about how good he feels on the pills, brags about how going to the mall while on drugs (not the pill) is super fun. Those are all things that would send me in a panic. He's also never had a single anxiety attack. I think that he's dreading any form or resposibility and will fake it as long as possible. Same thing his father did. He strongly believes people should feel good 100% of the time otherwise you're not normal. He says the pills make all his anxiety go away and feels great. Then why not work and support your familly?

He's incredibly narcissistic. All he talks about is himself and the mondaine crap he does everyday at home. It's always the same stories and it's so boring. He has 0 interest in what's going on with other people's lives. The conversation has to be about him or he zones out with disinterest.

My familly has a history of skytzophrenia and I think that's likely what's going on here.

Sorry people, just needed to vent. It's getting so hard not to call him out on this. I'm not saying he doesn't have mental illness, but I do think he's using this just to get the attention, drugs and money.

Has anyone gone through this? Should I say anyything? I'm at a point where I don't even want to speak with him.

He is a perfect candidate as the Obama poster child. Free shit without working

I can't say whether he has anything mentally wrong with him but if he believes he always has some illness or disease, he may be a hypochondriac? That is certainly a form of anxiety and maybe that is what pushes him to believe that

As far as schizophrenia, he doesn't sound like that is the case at all. They tend to be pretty crazy but not believing they are.

He probably is just lazy and sees how you can live a half decent life if you sit around all day. Especially if you are from the states. We are a joke. You can get everything here for nothing but everyone else that works pays for it.

It doesn't surprise me, though. More and more people feel entitled and this is the society that we created so he will be the norm before you know it

I would just stop talking to him. Civil but not see him socially

Ravenholt
10-27-2015, 10:10 AM
Thank you for your input. I think I just need to accept that his entitled mentality will never change. It's not as if he has a new disease every week, but it has changed on a yearly basis and I know now that this is just his way to avoid the stigma of being lazy. As in "nothing is my fault, it's the disease, therefore, not lazy". It's just a circle jerk of justification.

it's dissheartning that some doctors hand out diagnosis on demand. There are enough people in the world with real issues. I think when it comes down to it, he simply hates work because it makes it impossible to be high all the time. There are many overgrown infants nowadays. I'm so glad I was able to break the cycle and offer my family a better life. I'm just going to stop worrying about him, he'll never help himself. He makes me so mad lol.

Lauren123
10-30-2015, 12:42 PM
Just because someone has SA though doesn't mean they can't appear outgoing when in reality they're just trying really hard to keep up a facade. Drugs can be self medication for social anxiety as well but living off your mother and drug taking at 35 seems a pretty different story..! Has he considered he may have developed the social anxiety from drug use?