bluehood
10-08-2015, 02:56 PM
Hi all
I have been suffering from anxiety for 8 weeks now and I'm running out of options for support.
I really feel I have to tell my story and see if anyone can relate.
Around 8 weeks ago I began to feel ill. Headache, flu like symptoms, trouble sleeping.
I wouldn't have thought much of it had I not noticed an ugly red lump - like a boil - above my left ankle.
I wondered but I moved on until my anxiety began. It's source seems to have been a sleepless night where I foolishly googled reasons behind and causes of insomnia. Being a natural hypochondriac I began to worry I was developing a neurological illness that would either debilitate or kill me. I had a night of panic and fear and when the sun came up I remebered to check my ugly red lump. Which was no longer a lump.
It was the distinctive bullyseye rash that indicated Lyme disease.
And I remembered a black mark on the same area that was replaced by a fleshy scab before the red lump and the bullseye.
Tick bite.
Lyme disease.
I went to the doctors and they immediately began to treat me with Doxycycline for almost a month. During the treatement the rash went away and then came back and then went away again. I had two weeks off work, in the house, on my own. Tired, feeling ill from the antibiotics and the disease and feeling incredibly anxious. Lyme diesease apparently can cause anxiety - and I've heard talk that Doxy does the same - but I began to develop a serious case of health anxiety, especially when I began to feel tightness and twicthes in my calf muscles. Yes, that's a symptom of Lyme and also of anxiety but it reinforced the growing irrational conviction that I was suffering from a dread neurological disorder.
I got myself into such a state I forgot my bank sign in details and had a panic attack thinking I was losing my memory.
Of course, I hadn't truly forgotten.
I began to have bad dreams, one in particualr was terrifying and I began to associate going to bed with anxiety.
I began to suffer from insomnia.
I went two nights without sleep.
Eventually I got some Zopiclone sleeping pills from the doctor and they helped. I used them sparingly. I no longer use them.
I began to notice what appeared to be a slight tremor in my left hand.
I was unable to watch anything violent or scary. I even fely uncomfortable watching The Simpsons! So I stopped watching TV.
Then my bloodworks came back clean and negative for Lyme. (Lyme bloods are notriously unreliable, unfortunately.)
I began to get better and anxiety levels dropped from constant state of heightened awareness to close to every day levels.
Then I developed eye floaters, suddenly, having never had them before. Shadowy threads and little bubbles.
Caused me to have another panic attack, freezing me rigid in a crowd. The optician said my eyes were fine. People get floaters.
My anxiety got worse than ever due to the floaters. I was terrified they were indicitave of some terrible fate. I began to become convinced I was going to die. Soon.
Eventually I somehow maaged to convince myself that I was going to be okay. Millions of people have floaters.
However, every time my anxiety levels decreased something happened to make them climb again.
I felt my phone buzzing in my top left trouser pocket and reached for it. It wasn't there. Something made my leg buzz.
Twitches in my arm and legs were clearly visible. I wake up in the night and for a second think my house is shaking. It's not. I am. My whole body seems to vibrate. Happens about an hour after I fall asleep. It's weird and confusing and scary. During the day, sometimes the wedding and middle fingers of my left had twitch, often seem to to move up and down on their own.
Now and then I have a moment of mental fog. I had to think how to spell 'full' earlier.
I constantly check my memory. Pin numbers etc.
I was recently examined by a doctor. She thinks I am fine.
My muscle definition and strength is good. She thinks I might have benign fasciculation syndrome. Or perhaps a reaction to Lyme. Or it might all be anxiety.
But I twitch. Restless legs. Pains in my calves and thighs.
I'm still strong, walking a coupke of miles every day and recently did a 10 mile walk. My work is physical at times and I manage it all.
I'm an active person and I want to keep active.
Is this a familiar tale?
Can anxiety account for everrything I am experiencing - like the buzzing in the soles of my feet as I type?
Any relpies woould be greatly appreciated.
I have been suffering from anxiety for 8 weeks now and I'm running out of options for support.
I really feel I have to tell my story and see if anyone can relate.
Around 8 weeks ago I began to feel ill. Headache, flu like symptoms, trouble sleeping.
I wouldn't have thought much of it had I not noticed an ugly red lump - like a boil - above my left ankle.
I wondered but I moved on until my anxiety began. It's source seems to have been a sleepless night where I foolishly googled reasons behind and causes of insomnia. Being a natural hypochondriac I began to worry I was developing a neurological illness that would either debilitate or kill me. I had a night of panic and fear and when the sun came up I remebered to check my ugly red lump. Which was no longer a lump.
It was the distinctive bullyseye rash that indicated Lyme disease.
And I remembered a black mark on the same area that was replaced by a fleshy scab before the red lump and the bullseye.
Tick bite.
Lyme disease.
I went to the doctors and they immediately began to treat me with Doxycycline for almost a month. During the treatement the rash went away and then came back and then went away again. I had two weeks off work, in the house, on my own. Tired, feeling ill from the antibiotics and the disease and feeling incredibly anxious. Lyme diesease apparently can cause anxiety - and I've heard talk that Doxy does the same - but I began to develop a serious case of health anxiety, especially when I began to feel tightness and twicthes in my calf muscles. Yes, that's a symptom of Lyme and also of anxiety but it reinforced the growing irrational conviction that I was suffering from a dread neurological disorder.
I got myself into such a state I forgot my bank sign in details and had a panic attack thinking I was losing my memory.
Of course, I hadn't truly forgotten.
I began to have bad dreams, one in particualr was terrifying and I began to associate going to bed with anxiety.
I began to suffer from insomnia.
I went two nights without sleep.
Eventually I got some Zopiclone sleeping pills from the doctor and they helped. I used them sparingly. I no longer use them.
I began to notice what appeared to be a slight tremor in my left hand.
I was unable to watch anything violent or scary. I even fely uncomfortable watching The Simpsons! So I stopped watching TV.
Then my bloodworks came back clean and negative for Lyme. (Lyme bloods are notriously unreliable, unfortunately.)
I began to get better and anxiety levels dropped from constant state of heightened awareness to close to every day levels.
Then I developed eye floaters, suddenly, having never had them before. Shadowy threads and little bubbles.
Caused me to have another panic attack, freezing me rigid in a crowd. The optician said my eyes were fine. People get floaters.
My anxiety got worse than ever due to the floaters. I was terrified they were indicitave of some terrible fate. I began to become convinced I was going to die. Soon.
Eventually I somehow maaged to convince myself that I was going to be okay. Millions of people have floaters.
However, every time my anxiety levels decreased something happened to make them climb again.
I felt my phone buzzing in my top left trouser pocket and reached for it. It wasn't there. Something made my leg buzz.
Twitches in my arm and legs were clearly visible. I wake up in the night and for a second think my house is shaking. It's not. I am. My whole body seems to vibrate. Happens about an hour after I fall asleep. It's weird and confusing and scary. During the day, sometimes the wedding and middle fingers of my left had twitch, often seem to to move up and down on their own.
Now and then I have a moment of mental fog. I had to think how to spell 'full' earlier.
I constantly check my memory. Pin numbers etc.
I was recently examined by a doctor. She thinks I am fine.
My muscle definition and strength is good. She thinks I might have benign fasciculation syndrome. Or perhaps a reaction to Lyme. Or it might all be anxiety.
But I twitch. Restless legs. Pains in my calves and thighs.
I'm still strong, walking a coupke of miles every day and recently did a 10 mile walk. My work is physical at times and I manage it all.
I'm an active person and I want to keep active.
Is this a familiar tale?
Can anxiety account for everrything I am experiencing - like the buzzing in the soles of my feet as I type?
Any relpies woould be greatly appreciated.