New to the forum and could really use some help.

[Heavycoat]

Hey everyone,

First off, thanks for taking the time to read this, I am very grateful for any help you can provide,this is totally new for me. I am unsure exactly what type of anxiety I have or if i even have anxiety but this is a little bit about me, and the problem I am dealing with.

First off, I am a 34 yr old father of two beautiful children and happily married to the women of my dreams. My family are my world.

My issues,
I am also a professional, my job requires me to be away from home usually 15 days a month. Guaranteed.

So, recently I have changed jobs. Same profession, different company.

Which is requiring me to move to a different province. My wife is all for it, she is also a professional and her job is actually quite better where we are locating. I on the other hand had felt originally this was going to be an awesome move, but now that the time has come I am suffering from severe anxiety.

This job requires me to be away for quite a bit of time this month, sitting in a hotel on my down time.

I miss my kids to the point it's sickening, and am feeling like this move is not going to be good for them, I am worried they will miss there friends, not fit in or just be as heart sick as I feel.

We have no family where we are moving, nor do we have any close friends, we have friends there yes but not close ones.

I feel like everyone I am working with is different from me, I know it sounds stupid, I am having a very hard time explaining.

Anyhow, I can't handle feeling the way I do day in and day out. It's debilitating to say the least. Not to mention i feel annoyed with myself and very guilty for telling my wife every night how I am almost ready to quit and move back home.

I have a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now...new job, selling my home, buying a new one, uprooting my two young kids(3-5). Finding great schools for them, potentially being away over XMAS holidays, amongst other things. I may think up anything at all and all of a sudden start another huge worrying session about it and get a horrible stomach from it.

I've seen a psychiatrist once before and never really felt a connection, I found it hard to open up to her. Am I depressed or do I have some sort of anxiety?

Is there a way to beat this feeling without seeking medical attention?

My profession forbids me to take certain prescription drugs, so medication is out of the question.

I just want to be happy and comfortable.

Thanks
Sincerely,
Heavycoat, like the one I wear everyday since taking this new step in my life.

[unknownme]

Hello heavycoat,
I feel for you. Though I was never married nor have I children, I know what's like to be away from your family. Not for the same reasons and you can say it's my fault. I was in a very toxic relationship for almost 4 years (and lived with him for almost 2 of those 4, his mom and stepdad too). I only saw my parents and my younger brother (who I treat like I'm his sister and his mom at the same time lol) once a month, for one afternoon. I couldn't even stay over or when I talked about going there more than once a month my ex would be pissed. With all this info, being in college and adapting to a new place (I went from living in the busy capital to a little place with small farms and nothing to do and trips to the capital 2/3 times per hour), not seeing my family was so so heavy. It was the worst I've ever been at in life.

Anyway, I get it's a bunch of stuff to deal with. Do you think your job is the best option or that you'd be better off in a new job? Maybe it's just the overthinking of how it's gonna be that gets to you and once the dust settles you'll be okay. Two things that really helped me were getting hobbies and exercise (though I couldn't get it while I was in that situation). I never went to a therapist (though I still wonder if I should) but maybe you need to try another one, that's how one of my best frriends over over her depression.

Trust your wive & talk to her about it. I know it's tought but don't let it break you (or your relationship apart). If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. Hope I can/could help