Existential depression/anxiety tips/strategies?

[ZigZiglar]

Hi Guys and Girls,

I'm new to this forum (and to any support group for my own mental health).

Just wondering how those of you who dwell/ruminate on the topic of death/existence changed your perspective/outlook to be more positive? Or if you've managed to stop yourself from even having those thoughts to begin with, I would much appreciate some tips!

No offence to those with beliefs based on faith, I'm completely Agnostic and a very literal thinker (borderline Autistic - or not so borderline if you ask my wife), so God-talk will not help me. :) Believe me, my father (a very fervent Christian) has had every conversation possible on the topic with me already and we simply agree to disagree.

I can identify when I'm beginning to get caught up in existential thoughts and I'm working on improving my positive thinking and mindfulness strategies, but the topic/issue always returns just as reliably as I wake up in the morning. I exist, therefore existence is a topic I can't avoid thinking about. I'd like to avoid thinking about it though, as it always ends up with me roleplaying my own death in my mind and imagining what nothingness is. It's not healthy.



Looking forward to becoming acquainted with you!


Cheers

[jessed03]

I've been dealing with this on and off since I was 5 or 6. One of my earliest memories is walking home from school trying to comprehend this nothingness you speak of with my underdeveloped brain. While the other kids were blissfully playing without a care in the world, I was trying to wrap my head around what it'd be like to be dead forever...and ever...and ever (it's just such a long time, isn't it?)

As you're not a Christian, I'll try to talk in terms of science. I think, then, that it's very normal to have existential worries. Evolution isn't by design. That means, chances are, the human race took a pathway somewhere that lead to us becoming more self-aware than other mammals. Many believe this self-awareness to be more of a curse than a blessing. In a way, I do too. It means we're the only species who knows in advance our death is coming. It means we're the only species who really questions life and why we're here.

Some are able to look at life's complexities with wonder. But, that's not an easy thing to do. If you take life at face value, there isn't a purpose to it. Things are happening, but there's no divine purpose to it. The only meaning to life is that which we give it. But that leads to a greater problem: Everything is decaying; everything is dying - including ourselves. We may live for our children, or to reach a goal, or to attain fulfilment, but all of those things aren't permanent. We're essentially building sandcastles we know are going to be washed away in only a short space of time.

How does one get up in the morning with the same enthusiasm to grind, hustle, love, and create, knowing nobody from above is watching, and your work will soon turn to dust once you pass (maybe even sooner)? That is damn hard.

I think existential worries are like seeing something really disgusting on the internet. You come across both things by accident, but once you do, you can't turn back the clock and forget what you've thought or seen. These worries - like the gross picture - are etched into your brain forever in some way or another. Many people drop out of society after long periods of deep thinking. They become reclusive, they turn to drugs to further their mental adventures, they lose the will to play the game.

The best you can do, at least in my opinion (short of working out life's mysteries), is to first accept the futility of life, then seek to eradicate seeds of depression within you (these seeds of depression will use your existential worries for their own self-advancement. Depression is an intoxicating, narcissistic illness after all, obsessed with its own survival).

I think you need to accept your mortality and the fact you'll lose everything. Your programming and your social conditioning won't allow you to become at peace with it, but you can understand that death is probably just like a long, relaxing sleep - and that's not that bad, is it? I think you need to accept that, from where we're standing, there really is no meaning to all this. You need to make peace with being lied to by your parents, by the preacher. You need to forgive the writers of those Disney movies that said it was all gonna be ok. That'll free you up somewhat. Understand eveyone's just scared and confused by this thing called life and is clinging onto whatever they can to keep afloat, mentally. You need to do this because you won't ever be able to live and love freely again if you live in fear or if you're bitter at being put into a losing game.

The depression part, that's difficult, but can be done. You may want to get a book on it, as the best way to tackle it is holistically and by changing your whole life. Ultimately, by tackling your depression (which you have, even if you don't feel "sad"), you'll begin to feel less detached from everything. You'll start to naturally feel in the moment, rather than going back and forwards all the time in your head. If you're having existential worries, you may need more dopamine. You don't need drugs for this, you can do it naturally. Set goals and achieve goals. Stop watching the news/sexually stimulating material. Socialize often. Spend your time doing hobbies rather than thinking. Exercise. If you have ANY repressed desires, work on achieving them, so long as they're healthy. Eat really well. Meditate. Treat yourself occasionally. The list goes on...

Human beings have developed self-awareness, and it can helpful, but it's harmful if taken too far. Unless you're a monk (or you just want to), you shouldn't be constantly aware of yourself and your existence. An eye shouldn't be aware of itself. It's only when there's a physical problem within the eye that black spots or soreness occurs. Same with a human being. You're usually only aware of yourself to the extent you talk about when a physical problem is present (usually always depression).

[ZigZiglar]

Thank you for the detailed reply! Sounds like we've been through a similar journey. I'm on the move atm, so I'll reply properly when I'm at a keyboard. Cheers!
I've been dealing with this on and off since I was 5 or 6. One of my earliest memories is walking home from school trying to comprehend this nothingness you speak of with my underdeveloped brain. While the other kids were blissfully playing without a care in the world, I was trying to wrap my head around what it'd be like to be dead forever...and ever...and ever (it's just such a long time, isn't it?)

As you're not a Christian, I'll try to talk in terms of science. I think, then, that it's very normal to have existential worries. Evolution isn't by design. That means, chances are, the human race took a pathway somewhere that lead to us becoming more self-aware than other mammals. Many believe this self-awareness to be more of a curse than a blessing. In a way, I do too. It means we're the only species who knows in advance our death is coming. It means we're the only species who really questions life and why we're here.

Some are able to look at life's complexities with wonder. But, that's not an easy thing to do. If you take life at face value, there isn't a purpose to it. Things are happening, but there's no divine purpose to it. The only meaning to life is that which we give it. But that leads to a greater problem: Everything is decaying; everything is dying - including ourselves. We may live for our children, or to reach a goal, or to attain fulfilment, but all of those things aren't permanent. We're essentially building sandcastles we know are going to be washed away in only a short space of time.

How does one get up in the morning with the same enthusiasm to grind, hustle, love, and create, knowing nobody from above is watching, and your work will soon turn to dust once you pass (maybe even sooner)? That is damn hard.

I think existential worries are like seeing something really disgusting on the internet. You come across both things by accident, but once you do, you can't turn back the clock and forget what you've thought or seen. These worries - like the gross picture - are etched into your brain forever in some way or another. Many people drop out of society after long periods of deep thinking. They become reclusive, they turn to drugs to further their mental adventures, they lose the will to play the game.

The best you can do, at least in my opinion (short of working out life's mysteries), is to first accept the futility of life, then seek to eradicate seeds of depression within you (these seeds of depression will use your existential worries for their own self-advancement. Depression is an intoxicating, narcissistic illness after all, obsessed with its own survival).

I think you need to accept your mortality and the fact you'll lose everything. Your programming and your social conditioning won't allow you to become at peace with it, but you can understand that death is probably just like a long, relaxing sleep - and that's not that bad, is it? I think you need to accept that, from where we're standing, there really is no meaning to all this. You need to make peace with being lied to by your parents, by the preacher. You need to forgive the writers of those Disney movies that said it was all gonna be ok. That'll free you up somewhat. Understand eveyone's just scared and confused by this thing called life and is clinging onto whatever they can to keep afloat, mentally. You need to do this because you won't ever be able to live and love freely again if you live in fear or if you're bitter at being put into a losing game.

The depression part, that's difficult, but can be done. You may want to get a book on it, as the best way to tackle it is holistically and by changing your whole life. Ultimately, by tackling your depression (which you have, even if you don't feel "sad"), you'll begin to feel less detached from everything. You'll start to naturally feel in the moment, rather than going back and forwards all the time in your head. If you're having existential worries, you may need more dopamine. You don't need drugs for this, you can do it naturally. Set goals and achieve goals. Stop watching the news/sexually stimulating material. Socialize often. Spend your time doing hobbies rather than thinking. Exercise. If you have ANY repressed desires, work on achieving them, so long as they're healthy. Eat really well. Meditate. Treat yourself occasionally. The list goes on...

Human beings have developed self-awareness, and it can helpful, but it's harmful if taken too far. Unless you're a monk (or you just want to), you shouldn't be constantly aware of yourself and your existence. An eye shouldn't be aware of itself. It's only when there's a physical problem within the eye that black spots or soreness occurs. Same with a human being. You're usually only aware of yourself to the extent you talk about when a physical problem is present (usually always depression).

[A Psychotherapist (DC)]

Beautiful work, jessed03. You're essentially talking about changing the brain's state with acceptance of what is; redirection of one's thoughts and self-talk away from the depression/anxiety quicksand; and positive, constructive, goal-directed action.

I might suggest that there is some meaning to be had in all of it, though--some universal quality to the states of being and thoughts that you describe, including and especially the fact that nothing here is permanent. That very notion can terrify some people and be quite comforting to others (in a Carl Sagan/Neil deGrasse Tyson's 'Cosmos' kind of way, says this North American contributor). With proper psychoeducation, caring and careful self-reflection (about, for example, which formerly-useful protective mechanisms we might unnecessarily still be employing in response to today's unknowable-without-assistance, warded-off emotions)---and yes, in a few instances, a trial of anti-depressant medication---life does not have to be the Hell ride that too many people experience.

In any case, I sincerely hope that you are both feeling better and more connected, generally. (And, Zig, I hope all of this is literal enough.)