Depressed as heck

[gadguy]

Ok first I will admit to drinking quite a bit tonight," self medicating". New attibiotic that I am on has a side effect of depression and sucidaul thoughts, don't worry no suicidal thoughts, would never do that for several reasons, one I don't want mess up my house two, if I did it outside the ants an buzzards would eat me before anyone knew I was missing and three I could not put my niece throughb that..love her to much.

Well the depression hit hard this afternoon, a friend of mine adopted a child, and it has made her life happy whereas she was just content before, she sujested I adopt. I don't think she realizes how much more money she makes than i do, I could not afford the cost involved plus I am a man and we are all evil according to society. It hit me the at about 4 pm as to how lonely and stuck I am.

There are no women in my life other than friends and family, for what ever reason women are not attracted to me, I try but I never get past two dates, that's if I'm lucky enough to get one to say yes...I have no idea what I dio wrong, I was raised to be gentleman. I am completely clueless and lonely. It's quite possible I could live to be over 100 and still never know the real male female love..longevity runs in the family.

And on another note I am sick and tired of worrying about everyone else....I want to be selfish for a change instead of putting everyone ahead of myself, just once I want the spotlight. I am so tired of trying to save my friends from themselves. I feel like telling the ones I support snd take care of to "pee or get off the pot ". I have had enough.

I know I am not good looking, i am a blend in with the walpaper kinda of guy, although I look like my father, who is a handsome man the arrangement on me is just plain nothing special, my mirror works.

I'm just more than lonely..and not sure i can take another 30 49 to 50!years of being lonly.

I have spent over 6000.00 in high end match making with zero results, because I was doing even worse on my on.

I am probably gonna lay it on the line to my friends who depend on me always to be there...I'm tired of picking up the pieces of their lives.

My life is a disaster and everyone wants my advice and help with there lives..what's up with that.


I feel used and neglected.

Honestly I am pissed at the world right now, although I know the problem is not the world it's me I'm the problem, the whole world can't be wrong.

[gadguy]

Ok first I will admit to drinking quite a bit tonight," self medicating". New attibiotic that I am on has a side effect of depression and sucidaul thoughts, don't worry no suicidal thoughts, would never do that for several reasons, one I don't want mess up my house two, if I did it outside the ants an buzzards would eat me before anyone knew I was missing and three I could not put my niece throughb that..love her to much.

Well the depression hit hard this afternoon, a friend of mine adopted a child, and it has made her life happy whereas she was just content before, she sujested I adopt. I don't think she realizes how much more money she makes than i do, I could not afford the cost involved plus I am a man and we are all evil according to society. It hit me the at about 4 pm as to how lonely and stuck I am.

There are no women in my life other than friends and family, for what ever reason women are not attracted to me, I try but I never get past two dates, that's if I'm lucky enough to get one to say yes...I have no idea what I dio wrong, I was raised to be gentleman. I am completely clueless and lonely. It's quite possible I could live to be over 100 and still never know the real male female love..longevity runs in the family.

And on another note I am sick and tired of worrying about everyone else....I want to be selfish for a change instead of putting everyone ahead of myself, just once I want the spotlight. I am so tired of trying to save my friends from themselves. I feel like telling the ones I support snd take care of to "pee or get off the pot ". I have had enough.

I know I am not good looking, i am a blend in with the walpaper kinda of guy, although I look like my father, who is a handsome man the arrangement on me is just plain nothing special, my mirror works.

I'm just more than lonely..and not sure i can take another 30 49 to 50!years of being lonly.




I have spent over 6000.00 in high end match making with zero results, because I was doing even worse on my on.

I am probably gonna lay it on the line to my friends who depend on me always to be there...I'm tired of picking up the pieces of their lives.

My life is a disaster and everyone wants my advice and help with there lives..what's up with that.


I feel used and neglected.

Honestly I am pissed at the world right now, although I know the problem is not the world it's me I'm the problem, the whole world can't be wrong.

I apologize for this late night drunken rant, new antibiotic I was on can cause "low feelings and depression" after two weeks on it , it hit me like a ton of bricks last night and took me to a bad place. Stopped taking it and now starting to feel normal again.