Emotional tormoil and stuck

[gadguy]

I find myself in an unusual situation. A female friend I have known for over 25 years is now suddenly single. I have harbored asecret love for her in all this time, but have been and will have to remain content as friends. When we first met, she shortly after married....that marriage did not last long, before I could make any sort of noticeable move one of my superiors at work made a move and they were married....a number of years later they divorced, he was very vindictive during and after the divorce...I report directly to him, so I held off out of fear of loosing my job, I gotta eat. Now my friend has just left another relationship, the thoughts of what could have been keep creeping up...my heart aches..however for whatever reason women never see me in a romantic light, I am a good friend but that's as far as it will ever go. My friend is not a bad person, but for some reason picks men who do not treat like she should be treated. I wish I could make a move but my lively hood will keep me from doing so, I still have to eat and am to old to start from scratch again with new job. In the mean time i just sit by and hope she finds a man who will treat her like a queen as i would do if i had the chance....then there is also the risk of loosing a friend, if a romance did not work out.

At least now I said it out loud sorta.