skeetman33
09-13-2015, 05:04 PM
Hello Everyone,
I am new to this forum and have never posted nor responded to any anxiety forums before. I joined hoping to find others like myself and learn as much as I can about what this horrible thing is, how it comes about ,and, how to control it as I understand it will never go away but can be controlled.
Here is a brief timeline since I started with anxiety fifteen years ago. I had just retired from a law enforcement job after a twenty five year career, my long time girl friend and I were splitting up, and I lost my mother, all within a few months. With these events occurring I still managed just fine. Then the day after having colon surgery that I had put off until I retired, I had my first panic attack, I had this immediate feeling I had to get out of the bed and get out of there, I was scared to death, it was so bad people were talking to me but I could not here them, I was totally focused on needing to get out. I have wondered for years if it was brought on by anesthesia or a combination of things. Moving along soon after going home I had another panic attack, I starting feeling anxious constantly and felt as though I was losing my mind.
I went to my family doctor who suggested klonopin which I tried but it just made me feel out of it and tired all of the time. I returned to my doctor who then prescribed Lexapro. It took a few months but I began to feel normal again. Over the next several years I went on and off of Lexapro but I could always count on it working. Fast forward to about a year ago when out of the blue I had a major panic attack, I began Lexapro again but this time it did not work. I suffered for months always worrying if I could just get through the day, will I be able to make dinner, can I go shopping without having a panic attack. Finally I called a Psychiatrist and quickly discovered that with my health plan the routine is go to a mental health clinic, speak with a councilor until you can see a Psychiatrist, in my case four months. The Psychiatrist suggested I try Lexapro again, after a few months when it failed she suggested Lamictal. I have been on this for about six months slowly increasing the dose to 200 mgs. Lamictal has done nothing for me except compound my anxiety but she insist I let this drug run its course. I asked for Klonapin to take as needed but she feels its a crutch and does not treat the real problem.
Now I am at the point where every day is a bad day with very few exceptions, a good day is when the anxiety is not overwhelming and manifest itself to make it almost unbearable. My anxiety attack are not typical in the sense that my heart does not race, rather I am scared and convince myself I am losing it. I also have no trigger. I can be happy and all of the sudden the gloomy feeling starts, manifest and then its anxiety sometimes an hour, other times all day.
My family says I look and act normal but I live in a secret world in my mind. So that is it. Is there anyone that has a similar situation? Any and all advice, suggestions or information will be very much appreciated. Thank you.
I am new to this forum and have never posted nor responded to any anxiety forums before. I joined hoping to find others like myself and learn as much as I can about what this horrible thing is, how it comes about ,and, how to control it as I understand it will never go away but can be controlled.
Here is a brief timeline since I started with anxiety fifteen years ago. I had just retired from a law enforcement job after a twenty five year career, my long time girl friend and I were splitting up, and I lost my mother, all within a few months. With these events occurring I still managed just fine. Then the day after having colon surgery that I had put off until I retired, I had my first panic attack, I had this immediate feeling I had to get out of the bed and get out of there, I was scared to death, it was so bad people were talking to me but I could not here them, I was totally focused on needing to get out. I have wondered for years if it was brought on by anesthesia or a combination of things. Moving along soon after going home I had another panic attack, I starting feeling anxious constantly and felt as though I was losing my mind.
I went to my family doctor who suggested klonopin which I tried but it just made me feel out of it and tired all of the time. I returned to my doctor who then prescribed Lexapro. It took a few months but I began to feel normal again. Over the next several years I went on and off of Lexapro but I could always count on it working. Fast forward to about a year ago when out of the blue I had a major panic attack, I began Lexapro again but this time it did not work. I suffered for months always worrying if I could just get through the day, will I be able to make dinner, can I go shopping without having a panic attack. Finally I called a Psychiatrist and quickly discovered that with my health plan the routine is go to a mental health clinic, speak with a councilor until you can see a Psychiatrist, in my case four months. The Psychiatrist suggested I try Lexapro again, after a few months when it failed she suggested Lamictal. I have been on this for about six months slowly increasing the dose to 200 mgs. Lamictal has done nothing for me except compound my anxiety but she insist I let this drug run its course. I asked for Klonapin to take as needed but she feels its a crutch and does not treat the real problem.
Now I am at the point where every day is a bad day with very few exceptions, a good day is when the anxiety is not overwhelming and manifest itself to make it almost unbearable. My anxiety attack are not typical in the sense that my heart does not race, rather I am scared and convince myself I am losing it. I also have no trigger. I can be happy and all of the sudden the gloomy feeling starts, manifest and then its anxiety sometimes an hour, other times all day.
My family says I look and act normal but I live in a secret world in my mind. So that is it. Is there anyone that has a similar situation? Any and all advice, suggestions or information will be very much appreciated. Thank you.