Filiana
09-09-2015, 06:34 PM
Hi... I'm trying talk about this in a forum before I drive the ones that deal with me daily nuts...
First, I'm sorry for my bad english, not a native speaker.
I'm a 29y old female and I've always had my issues to deal with anxiety, stress, social situations and etc, but, until some months ago, I always managed to work on them somehow... not super fine, but it was enough. It never kept me from having friends, bfs, studying and working but I'm getting super concerned on how things are progressing.
4y ago my mom started to present symptoms of Alzheimer (now diagnosed, she was only 54) and we always had a tough life with my alcoholic dad... I was living in another state by then but that was a major blow... I didn't return, even with dad, and my sister was left to deal with both problems... last year it ended up in our last domestic violence episode, my dad got temporary arrested and I became my mom's "tutor". She's been living with me for over an year now, and I've been taking care of her stuff. Living in another state, I'm isolated from my family and old friends, though. Things just kept hitting me hard and I decided to end an 8y old relationship I had and change my job. Now I'm in a new relationship but I'm still super needy of people and contact... I often feel I can't deal with all this alone and people at work notice it... it's just too hard to see what's happening to my mom slowly so I'm still a distant person...
And now my everyday is waking up in the morning feeling sick, with butterflies in my stomach, that my throat is getting tighter, that I don't wanna go to work and that I want my day to just end smoothly... I don't even know why I wake up wishing it will pass fast if, at night, it's a battle to sleep as well. I keep losing weight and I'm pestering my new bf with my attention needs and my problems "confidences" and often when I'm with any of the few friends I have in this new city, I just can't help but to talk about shit... I'm so negative... it feels like I have to take that out of my system, whenever it strikes, or I just can't go on, it gets overwhelming... Started to see a therapist for the second time last month, I'm trusting it will help me coping with it, but for now I just still feel helpless...
So yeah, I'm trusting this is the place I can blurt my shit every now and then, and that I can learn some things from other people's experiences shared here.
OMG, I'm sry about the bad words as well...
First, I'm sorry for my bad english, not a native speaker.
I'm a 29y old female and I've always had my issues to deal with anxiety, stress, social situations and etc, but, until some months ago, I always managed to work on them somehow... not super fine, but it was enough. It never kept me from having friends, bfs, studying and working but I'm getting super concerned on how things are progressing.
4y ago my mom started to present symptoms of Alzheimer (now diagnosed, she was only 54) and we always had a tough life with my alcoholic dad... I was living in another state by then but that was a major blow... I didn't return, even with dad, and my sister was left to deal with both problems... last year it ended up in our last domestic violence episode, my dad got temporary arrested and I became my mom's "tutor". She's been living with me for over an year now, and I've been taking care of her stuff. Living in another state, I'm isolated from my family and old friends, though. Things just kept hitting me hard and I decided to end an 8y old relationship I had and change my job. Now I'm in a new relationship but I'm still super needy of people and contact... I often feel I can't deal with all this alone and people at work notice it... it's just too hard to see what's happening to my mom slowly so I'm still a distant person...
And now my everyday is waking up in the morning feeling sick, with butterflies in my stomach, that my throat is getting tighter, that I don't wanna go to work and that I want my day to just end smoothly... I don't even know why I wake up wishing it will pass fast if, at night, it's a battle to sleep as well. I keep losing weight and I'm pestering my new bf with my attention needs and my problems "confidences" and often when I'm with any of the few friends I have in this new city, I just can't help but to talk about shit... I'm so negative... it feels like I have to take that out of my system, whenever it strikes, or I just can't go on, it gets overwhelming... Started to see a therapist for the second time last month, I'm trusting it will help me coping with it, but for now I just still feel helpless...
So yeah, I'm trusting this is the place I can blurt my shit every now and then, and that I can learn some things from other people's experiences shared here.
OMG, I'm sry about the bad words as well...