15 Years Old, Social Anxiety

[ThatKid]

I think back to when I was younger around 10 years old. Back then I was more of a extrovert. I played basketball in the courtyard after school even though I sucked at it, but I didn't care even though people watched me. I wasn't self-conscious at all. I just didn't care. School presentations weren't a problem for me, and I would take the lead in the group, basically presenting the entire group project without giving my group mates a chance to speak. Fast forward 5 years, I'm entering sophomore year of high school, I'm 15 years old. My social anxiety seemed to have started when i was around 14 years old, I get nervous about everything and im always insecure. At first I thought it was just part of puberty to be self conscious, but it got worse. I also have this problem where I sweat profusely from my armpits (funny i know) from doing anything from physical activity to just walking around the house (no i am not fat, yes i wear deodorant :P). This is a huge problem because I get nervous in public situations, even though Im not the center of attention. As soon as the pit stains show up, I get more and more insecure to the point where I just want to dig a hole and stay in it forever away from everyone. I mentioned earlier that I used to love playing basketball outside afterschool. Well I stopped, and resorted to video games. Video games took over my life and I would play ALL day. I think that it was one of the causes as to why I am an introvert. I DREADED going to school everyday as a freshman in highschool. My heart POUNDS so fast as i walk into the school building purely because I am nervous, and this is the case every single day of school. Sometimes I get concerned about my HEALTH. Theres a 180 days in the school year, and in each and every one of those days, my heart beats so fast as i walk in. That doesn't include when I get nervous in the classroom when i get randomly called on by the teacher and put on the spot, or when I have to do a presentation. Sometimes i think that I might get a heart attack one day or suffer from high pressure from this happening all the time non-stop. In class im known as that socially awkward kid. I have those clumsy moments where i drop a pencil and for whatever reason my hand starts trembling as i pick it up because im afraid of being judged by my classmates, resulting in more humiliation from classmates laughing. I force myself to raise my hand to answer 1 word questions, because grades are important to me and not participating in class would give me a failing grade. Its impossible for me to buy anything at the store or order food because im afraid of messing up. I always end up fumbling my words when answering such a simple question like "What toppings would you like on your pizza?" I have a few close friends that I talk to at lunch, they know that i am an introverted kid and they are very nice to me, but I never hang out with them afterschool or anything simply because I choose not to. I have no problem talking with them but when it comes to other people or strangers, I freeze up and end up having a short, and very awkward conversation. School is starting in a couple of weeks and Im already feeling apprehensive and anxious about it. I think about my future, wondering how the hell I would get a job getting through a job interview, or how could possibly get through a college presentation without breaking down. I always do research about my social anxiety and Im pretty sure that the root cause of it is that Im afraid of being judged, and that the only way to stop it is to just NOT CARE, but i find it hard for me. My "happy time" is playing videogames and spending time with my family, but when Im not in my "happy time" I become sad again, thinking about my social anxiety. I do not "hate" life, Im very grateful for all that I have in life, but my anxiety is holding me back from enjoying it. These thoughts have always been in my mind and ive never spoken to ANYONE about it, not even my parents or relatives. I found this website and wanted to put this out there, hoping that others can relate, and possibly help me out with my situation :D

[gadguy]

I think back to when I was younger around 10 years old. Back then I was more of a extrovert. I played basketball in the courtyard after school even though I sucked at it, but I didn't care even though people watched me. I wasn't self-conscious at all. I just didn't care. School presentations weren't a problem for me, and I would take the lead in the group, basically presenting the entire group project without giving my group mates a chance to speak. Fast forward 5 years, I'm entering sophomore year of high school, I'm 15 years old. My social anxiety seemed to have started when i was around 14 years old, I get nervous about everything and im always insecure. At first I thought it was just part of puberty to be self conscious, but it got worse. I also have this problem where I sweat profusely from my armpits (funny i know) from doing anything from physical activity to just walking around the house (no i am not fat, yes i wear deodorant :P). This is a huge problem because I get nervous in public situations, even though Im not the center of attention. As soon as the pit stains show up, I get more and more insecure to the point where I just want to dig a hole and stay in it forever away from everyone. I mentioned earlier that I used to love playing basketball outside afterschool. Well I stopped, and resorted to video games. Video games took over my life and I would play ALL day. I think that it was one of the causes as to why I am an introvert. I DREADED going to school everyday as a freshman in highschool. My heart POUNDS so fast as i walk into the school building purely because I am nervous, and this is the case every single day of school. Sometimes I get concerned about my HEALTH. Theres a 180 days in the school year, and in each and every one of those days, my heart beats so fast as i walk in. That doesn't include when I get nervous in the classroom when i get randomly called on by the teacher and put on the spot, or when I have to do a presentation. Sometimes i think that I might get a heart attack one day or suffer from high pressure from this happening all the time non-stop. In class im known as that socially awkward kid. I have those clumsy moments where i drop a pencil and for whatever reason my hand starts trembling as i pick it up because im afraid of being judged by my classmates, resulting in more humiliation from classmates laughing. I force myself to raise my hand to answer 1 word questions, because grades are important to me and not participating in class would give me a failing grade. Its impossible for me to buy anything at the store or order food because im afraid of messing up. I always end up fumbling my words when answering such a simple question like "What toppings would you like on your pizza?" I have a few close friends that I talk to at lunch, they know that i am an introverted kid and they are very nice to me, but I never hang out with them afterschool or anything simply because I choose not to. I have no problem talking with them but when it comes to other people or strangers, I freeze up and end up having a short, and very awkward conversation. School is starting in a couple of weeks and Im already feeling apprehensive and anxious about it. I think about my future, wondering how the hell I would get a job getting through a job interview, or how could possibly get through a college presentation without breaking down. I always do research about my social anxiety and Im pretty sure that the root cause of it is that Im afraid of being judged, and that the only way to stop it is to just NOT CARE, but i find it hard for me. My "happy time" is playing videogames and spending time with my family, but when Im not in my "happy time" I become sad again, thinking about my social anxiety. I do not "hate" life, Im very grateful for all that I have in life, but my anxiety is holding me back from enjoying it. These thoughts have always been in my mind and ive never spoken to ANYONE about it, not even my parents or relatives. I found this website and wanted to put this out there, hoping that others can relate, and possibly help me out with my situation :D

You sound a lot like me at your age...I was always an anxious child and about the age of 15, my anxiety kicked into high gear..partly puberty..partly at that age you whole world is changing, driving, dating, future, graduation etc....it just all snowballed for me. I survived and so will you, just try not to look at it all together..more of a one day at time approach if you can. Also a few helpful hints...I'm guessing you are a dude and a sweater...find a heavy duty antiperspirant..you may even need to check with a Dr about prescription antiperspirant, some guys sweat more than others, also wear a T-shirt under your out shirt...it will help sweat from soaking through.