My anxiety...

[s_drozd]

I've been reading the forums for the past couple of hours, hoping to find some tips and tricks on dealing with anxiety. I am 24 and have had anxiety in one shape or another for at least 10 years...probably my entire life. When I was a kid I remember getting stomach aches of unknown nature. Because I wasn't mature enough, I only focused on the aches. As I've grown older, my anxiety has gotten worse. When I was in high school, I used to get worried in classes with the usual symptoms of hot flashes, feeling of about to puke, shortness of breath. I was dealing with it one way or another. The anxiety was coming and going. Now I am in my final year of college and finally want to get rid of it for good.

A couple of years ago I took a round trip with the family to California from Ontario, Canada. We decided to drive and that's when the big one happened. I was feeling like I was about to lose my mind almost the entire trip which was around 2 weeks. I was sitting in the car the entire trip with my eyes closed and my mind in complete state of despair. I couldn't relax, and I wasn't even thinking anymore. All I could focus on is the never ending worry loop.

Now recently, my parents moved to California and I am now living alone. I've been keeping a leash on my anxiety quite well. However, whenever my parents come to visit, every time they leave, I get so depressed I am ready to climb up a wall. This first happened back in April right before my final exams, all of a sudden one day I got this fear. I am not even sure what I was afraid of but my mind was going crazy. It felt like my head was going to explode. That's when I decided to get some medical help. I went to my family doctor and he gave me Lorazepam to take for my anxiety attacks. The visit to the doctor all in itself has calmed me down. I've been taking the pills when I feel anxiety coming on but they don't really seem to help. The thing is at this point of time I don't even know why I am having anxiety. It's now to the point of being a habit which I can't seem to be able to stop.

Right now I am constantly living in a state of anxiety. The only time I fully relax is when I go to sleep. During the day my anxiety gets higher and lower depending on what I am thinking of.

Anyhow, my parents came down for vacation last week and my anxiety gotten worse. Right now it seems like it's always on full. I talked to them about it and it loosened me up a little bit. My mother who is a doctor also suggested that I take the pills twice daily as the label says and not when I get the attack which is what I started doing. I don't think they are helping me any though. I am constantly feeling like a zombie and have little interest in anything.

Anyway, not really sure why I posted this, guess just needed to let it out. But since I am taking up this forum space I can ask a question, is is possible to cure anxiety without professional help or medication? I don't like shrinks and reading about anti depressants that often only help 50% of people isn't very encouraging.

I just ordered "Been There, Done That? DO THIS!" as per suggestions in several threads so hopefully that will provide me with some assistance.

[stho]

hey man, I completely get what your talking about, the feeling of endless despair running through you as though youd rather be dead than wake up and face this curse, and the zombie things is an extremely common side effect of anxiety medication.

But in answer to your question, no. There is no REAL cure for anxiety without medication and treatment. I've tried it all, and trust me, it just stabilizes you.
what you can do though is suppress your anxiety in several ways, these include:

Eating foods low in sugar and fat
avoiding caffeine
meditation
having friends that understand your situation
seeing a therapist to let out your feelings and stress
and especially getting drunk ( as long as it doesnt get abusive)

I find that all these factors have comforted me to the highest level, and I hope I can help you a little bit.

hope you find some insight man

[Robbed]

One thing that REALLY stands out here is the fact that your anxiety seems to escalate whenever your parents are around. Did something significant happen between you and your parents? This could be the root cause of your anxiety.

As for curing anxiety without meds and therapists, this is certainly possible. Remember that meds will NEVER cure you of anxiety, and can often make things worse. And most therapists are about as useful as a wood stove on a 100 degree day. Sometimes, reducing anxiety is just a matter of accepting symptoms and letting time pass (sometimes, LOTS of time). However, you may need to also take a look at ways that your upbringing may have harmed you. A therapist can be helpful here. But it might take a while to find a good one, and one who is not just going to try to get you on medication. But regardless, you should NEVER look at your anxiety as being permanent, as this will only make it so.

[joey9]

Its very easy to try to 'blame' your anxiety on something that occurred whilst you were growing up. And being as your parents were presumably your primary caregivers, its your parents who would take the brunt of the blame for anything that you felt was linked to your anxiety. If you are prone to anxiety, for example if you are a sensitive person, you are more likely to feed off certain cues that you are given. If you are physiologically predisposed to a certain behaviour, you will be sensitive to cues that reinforce that behaviour. My opinion is that, of course you can have a shitty childhood and this can affect you, but a lot of the time its not so much a case of the parents doing something 'wrong', but rather that they failed to spot a particular sensitivity and tried to proactively manage their behaviour to avoid making the child feel worse. As you spent your entire childhood with your parents they probably triggered your sensitivities many many more times than anyone else, and you may well associate them with certain feelings, but I believe its wrong to try to 'blame' them in some way.

[kaialian]

Hi there!

The medication is a good start, but like the others have said, you also need to do other things. I learned that the hard way. I have been taking paxil for awhile now to treat anxiety, but I wasn't doig anything else. I thought that I was better, but when I started to go off the meds, I realized I wasn't. So now, in addition to the meds, I am doing things to help train my body to relax. I am doing deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and am hoping to start yoga.

So perhaps instead of just meds, try some other things. I haven't heard of the book you ordered, but it's definitely a start!!

[stho]

okay well the to the people who replied after me...
do you realize what anxiety disorder is? Its a disease, and its inherited NOT created. If hes been experiencing symptoms for THIS long at such a young age then its certainly GAD and not mild stress realted anxiety. Anxiety IS permanent, as I am a member of many slef help areas around my town I encounter and converse with people ages 13 - 70 sometimes who have all had anxiety their entire lives and have never found a real cure.

[Robbed]

okay well the to the people who replied after me...
do you realize what anxiety disorder is? Its a disease, and its inherited NOT created. If hes been experiencing symptoms for THIS long at such a young age then its certainly GAD and not mild stress realted anxiety. Anxiety IS permanent, as I am a member of many slef help areas around my town I encounter and converse with people ages 13 - 70 sometimes who have all had anxiety their entire lives and have never found a real cure.



Could we call anxiety disorder a disease? Possibly. But 'disease' encompasses everything from the common cold on up to terminal cancer, and does NOT mean than whatever afflicts you is either the result of genetics OR that it is your fate to suffer for the rest of your years with anxiety disorder. Even Claire Weekes talks of anxiety and depression as diseases. But she compares them to the flu, and not diabetes. Could anxiety disorder possibly NEVER go away? I guess anything is possible. But to just simply throw up your hands, surrender to anxiety disorder and go on SSRIs for the rest of your life (which MANY anxiety sufferers are content to do) is just going to GUARANTEE you a lifetime of misery. The way I see things, EVERYONE should do what they can to try to recover. You just might surprise yourself.

Remember, almost never is anything set in stone when it comes to anxiey disorder. In most cases, it lasts from several months to a few years. But people DO recover from anxiety disorder even when it lasts longer than this. You should NEVER feel completely hopeless about anxiety disorder.

[Robbed]

Its very easy to try to 'blame' your anxiety on something that occurred whilst you were growing up. And being as your parents were presumably your primary caregivers, its your parents who would take the brunt of the blame for anything that you felt was linked to your anxiety. If you are prone to anxiety, for example if you are a sensitive person, you are more likely to feed off certain cues that you are given. If you are physiologically predisposed to a certain behaviour, you will be sensitive to cues that reinforce that behaviour. My opinion is that, of course you can have a shitty childhood and this can affect you, but a lot of the time its not so much a case of the parents doing something 'wrong', but rather that they failed to spot a particular sensitivity and tried to proactively manage their behaviour to avoid making the child feel worse. As you spent your entire childhood with your parents they probably triggered your sensitivities many many more times than anyone else, and you may well associate them with certain feelings, but I believe its wrong to try to 'blame' them in some way.

One way that parents can cause problems later in life when it comes to anxiety disorders is by instilling unhealthy belief systems in a child. SO many parents, in an attempt to 'toughen up' their kids in order to try to make them more able to deal with adversity, can treat them in a rather disrespectful and demeaning way. This can certainly have a VERY negative effect on their self-esteem. And it can certainly make one come to believe they really ARE stupid, unlikable, ugly, etc. Other parents may actually be pretty laid-back, but become overly frustrated and angry the instant anything goes wrong. When this happens, and the parent does not offer good, sincere advice as to how the problem should be dealt with in the future, fear of failure is a result. Of course, many other examples of this can be cited. In any case, unhealthy belief systems tend to cause the kind of excessive and chronic stresses that can lead to problems like depression and anxiety.

What you mention about parents trying to manage a child's behavior can also cause problems, as the child does not learn to solve problems on their own. It could also send the message that the parents truly believe the child is completely incapable of doing anything for themselves, which can affect belief systems. And this, combined with a lack of coping skills can also lead to long-term stress (and possibly depression and anxiety). Of course, in most cases, parenting errors involve a combination of factors. And other people encountered in a child's life (ie teachers, school mates, extended family, etc) can likewise create unhealthy thought/belief systems.

[joey9]

But my point is that we all have parents - or someone who has acted like parents - and that very few parents know a huge amount about the ins and outs of how to be an A1 parent who treats you in some perfect text book way and moulds you into an angst free grown up. But we don't all end up with anxiety disorders. Many many people are treated by their parents in ways that we wouldn't say was all that brilliant but they seem to be able to react to this without becoming ill. Anxiety/depression very clearly runs in families and this is not because its passed on through behaviour. Its because through some genetic predisposition, the physiology of for example your brain chemistry or your level of cortical arousal make people susceptible to stress or heightened feelings of fear or depressed mood. And if you are lucky enough to be one of these people, you will react in a very sensitive way to anything that triggers these basic biological responses. If you have this type of disposition, its more likely that you will end up with some kind of anxiety/depressive disorder unless your parents are really proactive in managing your fears and your sensitive nature from day 1. Trying to avoid stress is probably THE best way to stave off anxiety - and by this I don't mean hiding away from the world - your own thoughts can be a major stressor so learning how to deal with any problematic thought patterns can be a great way to try to alleviate some of the stress in your life, along with making sure your body is properly equiped to deal with the excess adrenaline that probably courses round your body on a day to day basis, making sure it is properly nourished, that you are taking excerise and time out to relax etc. Just because you are predisposed to anxiety doesn't mean you can do nothing to feel better. Trying to blame everything on the way you were brought up is missing the point.