Cant handle this anymore

[bananasmiles]

Hey everyone. Its hard to believe for me, that I have gotten to a point where I can no longer deal with this on my own. I have been suffering anxiety all of my life, but this summer it has reached a new peak. Before, I just worried about simple things, like school work and crushes, and I got sweaty palms, my hands would shake and I would get headaches. But now, it has gotten so much worse. I had probably the worst headache of my life in the summer, like a weird burning sensation that eventually went away when I massaged it (probably just a pinched nerve) Of course being me, I jumped to brain tumor and I just worried about it for the longest time and I never talked about it, because I didn't want anyone to tell me to get it "checked", I was in this weird state of denial. Anyways, then I went on vacation and everything went away, I had no problems, it was amazing. Then when I got back, I got a cold, but I couldn't go home because my mom has myelodisplasia (precursor) to leukemia and i couldn't get her sick, so I'm sure this stressed me out. I felt like it didn't, but it must have, right? Oh yah, my mom got this diagnosis, which has completely changed her life, and our familys well. countless drs appointments, she was stuck in the hospital numerous times. At this point i was having a lot of symptoms, a constant burning and tingling in the back of my head, which again I associated with a serious illness of my brain, then tingling and numbness and the worst of all, a sense of unreality, like everything that was happening was distance, and I felt unattached. After I went to the dr finally, she said u r fine. but recommended medication, but my parents said NO. after this visit, i felt so much better, i was almost back to myself, no more symptoms because I got the verification that i needed, that i was okay, but i was mentally exhausted. But then I started college, which has inflicted a new series of anxiety symptoms ( sense of that unreality again, and now eye floaters) and just recently got into a relationship thats moving too fast and which i have talked about with him and things r better, i just have never even really dated dated before. Throughout this whole period of time, I feel like I have changed as a person. Not necessarily good or bad, just a different perspective on my life, like i just don't feel like "me." Its just the weirdest feeling ever, and its the worst when I'm alone in my thoughts. they usually are as follows: why am i different now? Why do i feel like this? Is there something actually wrong with me? No, its just anxiety? But why can't i stop it? why can't i feel like myself again? Who am i? Sometimes I slap myself to try to feel normal, but of course that doesn't work. I don't know what to do anymore, i can't handle it, its so overwelhming and it came out of nowhere. Please help me.

[em1]

Firstly hello and welcome to the forum :)
It's hard to believe that anxiety can make you feel like this,so there must be something really wrong? NO there is not,it's just a feeling that makes your head think up all sorts of lies
Believe me I have had the lot,there is no feeling that I haven't had over the years
It sounds to me like you have had a very stressful time and that plays on anxiety believe me I know
In the last year h have had quite a few things gone on.
Having the constant worry and anxiety wears your body and mind out so much,when you was on holiday you relaxed and now that your back home your back in reality? Maybe that's why you feel like this
Things will get better,you won't always feel the way you do now,there is so much help and advice out there and books that you can read and herbal remedies you can try
Be kind to yourself:)

[bananasmiles]

Firstly hello and welcome to the forum :)
It's hard to believe that anxiety can make you feel like this,so there must be something really wrong? NO there is not,it's just a feeling that makes your head think up all sorts of lies
Believe me I have had the lot,there is no feeling that I haven't had over the years
It sounds to me like you have had a very stressful time and that plays on anxiety believe me I know
In the last year h have had quite a few things gone on.
Having the constant worry and anxiety wears your body and mind out so much,when you was on holiday you relaxed and now that your back home your back in reality? Maybe that's why you feel like this
Things will get better,you won't always feel the way you do now,there is so much help and advice out there and books that you can read and herbal remedies you can try
Be kind to yourself:)

Thank you for your reply. I feel a lot better this evening, after talking about it and going for a run and relaxing with my friends. my eyes are still acting a bit strange, but i think its because I've had it in the back of my head for a few days and it won't go away. but I'm doing my best to stay positive and focus on things that make me happy. thanks for the help :)

[TisdaleLondon]

Hey there BananaSmiles :)

Firstly, I want to start by saying that I am in a very similar situation to you... I have just completed my GCSES and I am set to start college in a week (very daunting!). I have suffered from extreme panic disorder my whole life and I am still trying to tackle it today. Every tingle, pain or sensation I automatically jump to the conclusion that I am dying. The brain tumor fear has been with me for a while now - you described the 'burning' sensation I get perfectly and your head can feel very heated and I have had dizziness with it too. The fear of having a serious illness has literally taken over my life and I am now so scared to start college like this but I hang on to the slight hope that it will get better. I'm always here to talk if you need too :)

xx

[eliteedge]

I am definitely going through something very similar. I have had the brain tumor fear, and if it wasn't that, it was a dementia fear. I have absolutely no idea where or why these thoughts even popped into my head. I have no family history of either. Anyways, I started off with very bad headaches, eye floaters, and "memory loss". I actually went to the dr. for the headaches and was told they were tension headaches. I then went to the optometrist and was told that everything looked 100% healthy. These have seemed to clear up for the most part over the past few months. I am still struggling with thinking that there is something wrong with my memory, but I think it's more related to me being adhd and not being able to focus. Anyhow, the whole point of me telling you this is to hopefully give you some hope and let you know that you are not alone in your struggling. We all can get through this!!