loosing my job!

[blondie28]

I need some advice. To make a long story short...the store I work at is going out of business and I really don't know what to do. I have worked there for 5 years and I have been dealing with my anxiety for 3. My bosses were very understanding of my situation so it was really never an issue with them.

I don't know what I am going to do about my money. I have a ton a credit cards and in a couple of weeks I will have no job and won't be able to make payments.

I do not take medication for my anxiety nor do I go to any doctors about it because my mom thinks its all in my head and since its her insurance I'm under I really don't see a way around it. I had to drop out of college because my anxiety is so bad and I am now taking online courses. I don't go anywhere let alone drive by myself because of my anxiety. So I really don't know how I would be able to get another job.

Does anyone know of anything you could do from home to make money or if anyone has any type of advice it would really help me because my anxiety has gotten a little better but with this whole not working thing, it has gone right back up and I am also depressed because I feel like I'm stuck in this hole and I'll never be able to get out. So advice would be good, please. Thank you and sorry this is kinda long

[northstar]

hi blondie28 :) thanks for sharing your story with everyone! i'm sorry to see you're going through such a tough time at the moment, but in saying that i'm also going to be totally honest with you in my reply.

take a look at your post and, if you can, try and see it from another person's point of view, take a look at your life. you're really allowing yourself to become a prisoner to your anxiety. i think what you're trying to do, finding some way to work from home, is really not the answer. in all honesty i think that being forced to go out into the world and look for another job is probably a good exercise for you :) you've already discovered that your current employers were very understanding of your anxiety problems, so why do you think that you won't find that kind compassionate attitude elsewhere in the world?

hiding away from your anxiety at home is really not the way to deal with it. when you're an elderly person do you really want to look back at your life and regret hiding from the world instead of discovering your inner strength again and facing it? facing up to your fear is one of the hardest things we can do, but it is also the bravest thing that you can do.

i think you should try to embrace this opportunity, as hard as that sounds. use it to work on your self confidence and strength :) and take a bit of a reality check: you have several weeks notice so plenty of time to look for another job, good employers who i'm sure will give you a great reference, and good experience (staying in a job a long time can show new employers that you're a loyal, dedicated and reliable worker).

about the problems with your mum and insurance: if you're able to work then you're able to pay for your own insurance, or find a job where they offer employees a healthcare plan of some sort. or it can't cost very much to just go to your doctor for one appointment to discuss your options. also, it doesn't take a huge amount of money to start dealing with anxiety, there are plenty of things you can do at home for free or very little money that will help you out: take a read through this forum for ideas or if you like i will share with you exactly what worked for me. if you want to you can even consider using some of your earnings to pay for some therapy sessions, it's totally worth it, your mental health is incredibly important. about your credit card debt, it's the same idea, you can't hide from it. i'm assuming if you're in debt that you've stopped spending with them? if not then consider gettting rid of the cards, they'll only cause you more problems. seek financial advise from your bank on how to manage the debt, it's doable and there are people out there who will give you good advise if you ask them :)

i'm sorry that your mum is so misunderstanding about your anxiety, that must be really difficult to deal with. you could try printing out some articles or buying her a book on anxiety, help her to realise that your problem is real. easier said than done i know, but you need some support in your life. that's where therapy can come in handy too, it's a good way to begin supporting yourself in your time of need.

basically i think you should give a good look at your life. are you living the life that you want to live? do you really want to remain a victim to your anxiety? if you want to recover you need to start facing up to and dealing with your problem in a real way, not hiding away from it at home, it seems like the easier option but you'll never be happy that way my dear :(

a neuro linguistic therapist i went to for help when my anxiety was really bad gave me this saying to think about: "if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got". basically it means if you want your life to be different then you've got to change the way you're living it, cause things are only gonna stay the same if you don't try to make positive changes. do this for yourself, you need to realise that the power is in your hands, if you want to find a way out then start reaching out and ask for the help you need, don't hide away, i really don't want that for you.

i really hope none of this sounded like i'm being too harsh or mean, that's not the case at all. i really empathise with you and how crushed you are feeling, anxiety is not easy to deal with. i found that when i was feeling bad that the best advice i got was from people who didn't allow me to collapse and i was lucky that i had those people to help me stand up and face the world on the days when i just wanted to curl up and die. they helped me realise that the only way the anxiety was going to change was through my own actions and so i made the choice not to collapse under the weight of it and to start regaining my inner strength. i came from such a terrible place back to a wonderful life again, and honestly these days i have never felt better, so i know it can be done and i believe in you. you just need to take your power back into your own hands and start fighting :) i believe in you. if you want me to tell you about the things that helped me to get better then i certainly will, but i think i've waffled on long enough on here as it is now lol!!

i wish you the best, i really hope you find that strength in yourself again :)