I was in a crisis 2 mins ago;please help me guys.

[Fear]

First of all,after 3 years of nothing at all I found a job.It is cool,it would suck for everyone else but I DO like it.I know you can understand it.
I met lots of women of every age,coz that's how it is,and males.I didn't feel anxious and scared,everything was just good.I caught the attention of one male in particular.Maybe coz I look younger;I'm 22 and show 16.I think the right word is protection.I started to feel a little anxious but at the same time I tried to think to everything you told and I tried not to escape him but be courage and look at him.I really feel like having that friend.I just started to think about him all the time.This isn't love,or maybe a kind of,I don't care.I like to have someone like him around me.I tried to behave like an adult and not childish;I greeted him and stuff.I was just a little shy you know.We didn't have a real conversation but...I felt good.Around all the people there I didn't feel anxious.Just sometimes but it was bearable.
Today I had to work in the afternoon.I started to feel anxious and when I got there I was really vulnerable to everything.WHen I am like that I just do all a mess.I even got like bad reactions.Like if someone pass me by and I see it after,I make a fast move.I was even shaking and stuff.
At some point the guy came near me.I think I got red and got even more nervous,just like crazy.WHen it happens I speak quietly that no one can hear me and in this place there is a lot of noise.I just avoid to speak even more than normal and evryone see and say that to me.Not today anyway.
I really got bad,coz I didn't say a word to him but showed to really be unconfortable.I was scared it was obvious I got red when he came near me.To him and everyone there.In this place people make lots of gossips.
I felt down coz I really don't want him to think I am an empty person that can't hold a conversation or that only needs her mom.SHe come to pick me up.I get anxious even in the car,when driving.
SO I started to think I should make him understand there is something wrong.It is always been this way.I never told anything to my family and tried to act in a way they could understand.But after years they still don't get it.
How do you do?I don't wanna lose the friendship of this guy,I really don't want him to think I'm depressing.SHould I tell him,when I get the chance and we're alone,I got problems with people?I do think to have a social phobia?I don't want him to run away from me or make him feel pity for me.
PLEASE HELP GUYS I REALLY NEED YOU THIS TIME!!!
Hell,I finally got a socila opportunity!

[Fear]

Why don't you answer,damn!? :cry:

[CinnamonSparkle]

I'm in the same boat so I couldn't really tell you too much, but I said the same thing in another post...I read on here that it helps if you visualize a big red STOP sign when your thoughts are getting out of control and you're starting to get panicky and anxious...also know that you're not alone. half the people we see everyday have anxiety to some degree, some are worse than others but MANY people suffer from it. and i know you really want to be friends with this guy, but make it seem simpler in your mind. convince yourself that he really isn't that big of a deal because if you play it down, it'll help you calm down a bit around him. and what's the worst that could happen? you panick and get embarrassed? You're not the only one. And if you ever are the center of gossiping, it won't be forever. It all passes after a while. I know it doesn't sound nice but works for me sometimes...because really it's just all the attention, we feel all the attention on us...I just tell myself that really I'm not that important, I shouldn't feel like everyone's focused on me, they have more things to worry about...I just tell myself that to help downplay the anxiety. Good luck anyways.

[Fear]

Thanks a whole lot for the help. :)

[Fear]

It has become a real obsession.My time there is running out.My contract is about to expire.I don't want to act like he hasn't done anything for me.I wanna find a way to communicate him what's wrong with me,but I can't speak.Maybe I could try looking at him in a certain way.I think about him even more than before and I even hardly sleep.He's my one and only thinking.He's so interested and cool to me that this time I wanna give something not just to take.But I'm lost.He plays or what?He asked if that guy coming to pick me up was my boyfriend or what...I said he was my bro.The next day we were waiting to start working and he suddenly said :"So we could go out together!",I maybe misunderstood like a stupid and said:"Aren't you married?" .He said"Yeah,but I can go out with friend and co-workers...who told you that??"He was really curious.What I really feel bad about is that he always greets me,even if he is really far,he calls me yelling.And I can't bare to look into his eyes when he talks to me!! I want to exchange some way or be completely or almost clear to him!He deserves it!!

[Fear]

I really would like to touch him,his arms or hands,but...that's hard.I would like to be able to start a simple conversation and show him my interest and appreciation.
The other morning it was really cold,he came fast and said joking:"Would you warm me?!" (don't know if that's how you say it).And he touched me.WHen he does that I feel so stupidly happy like a asshole.I don't go over these things,I never did!

[Fear]

I really would like to touch him,his arms or hands,but...that's hard.I would like to be able to start a simple conversation and show him my interest and appreciation.
The other morning it was really cold,he came fast and said joking:"Would you warm me?!" (don't know if that's how you say it).And he touched me.WHen he does that I feel so stupidly happy like a asshole.I don't go over these things,I never did!
I can't even hold out my arm to him!I don't know how to act!
MAybe I should build up stupid scenes,like excuses to touch him.
Yeah,being able to do that would be cool.I need to prepare myself mentally,oh shit!

[Fear]

I'm scared he will give up on me soon.