Girlfriend with anxiety ruining our relationship

[bengittos1]

Hello, This is sort of my final straw to my situation. Briefly I have been dating the girl of my dreams the past 8 months we met at college and was pretty much love at first sight and we have been together ever since. We are both happy and both are comfortable. Except a couple of weeks into our relationship I was in town with my friends and I got a phone all from her saying shes panicking loads on the train. (She takes the train everyday so I was confused). A few days later she was diagnosed with anxiety and since then its only got worse. She lives her life normally works a job, applies for jobs, goes to college, hangs out with friends but her anxiety is getting the better of her. To the point where we are now both arguing because of it we are both 17. So hormones and stuff mixed with anxiety is not a good mix! Every night I message her and talk to her about her day and every single time without fail I always end up sort of giving her life advice and plans about her panic attacks etc and im tired of it. Im not a doctor iv put so much effort into our relationship and her anxiety is tearing us apart. Iv done some research I know theres no quick fix for anxiety. She does have therapist sessions once a week at a very respected therapist i believe she has made a bit of progress. I just cant deal with sort of caring for my loved one like this with this amount I plan on staying with her until I die but this is just a very hard time and its just nice if I am able to hear similar experiences or how people cope with it so I can maybe pass some advice on to her. Tonight we have both argued and both ended up in tears I am pretty much at the end of my tether!

Sort of a side note and background to me I have got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a few months ago and its a big lifestyle change but due to her anxiety iv not been able to talk about my true feelings about this and I feel this is making me angry. Ye....its complicated.

So any advice on how to talk to people with anxiety, help/ease panic attacks, tips and tricks and ideas would mean the world to me.

Thank you.

[Vikki Long]

Hi, i understand that this is hard for you and with your current news as well it can be frustrating. it sounds to me like your both scared, and dont fully understand it either. but you need to help each other and support one another, the arguing needs to stop really as that wont be helping either of your situations. everyone handles anxiety different. there isnt a quick fix (i wish there was my life would be so much better) i talk only to my doctor and therapist, it just easier that way and so people dont think im failer or stupid. im still me just got major issues.

[bengittos1]

Thanks for the reply :)

It is very much frustrating for both of us yes I think you are right with the arguing I will admit most of it is down to my personality I just sometimes think she can shake it off sometimes even though I know she cant. And at the minute she used to see a therapist once a week but hasnt for a good few weeks so that might be a factor. I will definitely do my best to put a end to arguments :).

Thanks again.

[superchick22684]

Hello, This is sort of my final straw to my situation. Briefly I have been dating the girl of my dreams the past 8 months we met at college and was pretty much love at first sight and we have been together ever since. We are both happy and both are comfortable. Except a couple of weeks into our relationship I was in town with my friends and I got a phone all from her saying shes panicking loads on the train. (She takes the train everyday so I was confused). A few days later she was diagnosed with anxiety and since then its only got worse. She lives her life normally works a job, applies for jobs, goes to college, hangs out with friends but her anxiety is getting the better of her. To the point where we are now both arguing because of it we are both 17. So hormones and stuff mixed with anxiety is not a good mix! Every night I message her and talk to her about her day and every single time without fail I always end up sort of giving her life advice and plans about her panic attacks etc and im tired of it. Im not a doctor iv put so much effort into our relationship and her anxiety is tearing us apart. Iv done some research I know theres no quick fix for anxiety. She does have therapist sessions once a week at a very respected therapist i believe she has made a bit of progress. I just cant deal with sort of caring for my loved one like this with this amount I plan on staying with her until I die but this is just a very hard time and its just nice if I am able to hear similar experiences or how people cope with it so I can maybe pass some advice on to her. Tonight we have both argued and both ended up in tears I am pretty much at the end of my tether!

Sort of a side note and background to me I have got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a few months ago and its a big lifestyle change but due to her anxiety iv not been able to talk about my true feelings about this and I feel this is making me angry. Ye....its complicated.

So any advice on how to talk to people with anxiety, help/ease panic attacks, tips and tricks and ideas would mean the world to me.

Thank you.

This post probably could have been written by my boyfriend when we first started dating 2 1/2 years ago. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in college and have been on a variety of meds and been in therapy some as well. I used to heavily rely on him to give me advice and help me out and it got to the point where he felt overwhelmed (which is what I'm gathering you are feeling). He told me how he felt and we changed how we communicate with each other.

Since he's not a medical professional if he asks how I'm doing then we'll talk about it but I don't rely on him to resolve my problems. I see my therapist once a week or once every two weeks and I leave the questions and advice for him since he's certified and a doctor. This has taken a lot of stress off of my boyfriend because now we have other things to talk about and I don't feel like I'm dominating the conversation as much (which was a problem before).

Have you talked to her about how overwhelming it is for you when she asks for advice? I know it might be a hard conversation to have but it may be time to do so. There's nothing wrong with being supportive but if its causing you stress that's not good.