my story

[ruthylou]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and I'd like to share how I'm feeling, more as a way to get my feelings out instead of keeping them bottled up.
I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager but lately (I'm 28 now) my anxiety is ruling my life! I have social, general and health anxiety and it is the health anxiety that seems to getting worse and worse as days go on. I am convinced that I am going to doe, either in my sleep or because of a terminal illness. I am refusing to go to sleep and if I do I make sure I set an alarm to wake me up every hour just in case. I even went to the hospital because I was going to die of lung cancer.
I'm lucky to have a partner who tries to be as understanding as possible but I know deep down he doesn't understand fully. Because we are hoping to start a family soon I don't want to go on medication. I used to be in medication for my depression but after 4 years I felt strong enough to come off them, with help from my doctor of course. I feel that if I do go back on medication that I have failed somehow.
I hate feeling like this but when my anxiety is at its worse it feels like that it's never going to end. Sorry if I rambled on but I think that it.helps to talk. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Saldav]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and I'd like to share how I'm feeling, more as a way to get my feelings out instead of keeping them bottled up.
I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager but lately (I'm 28 now) my anxiety is ruling my life! I have social, general and health anxiety and it is the health anxiety that seems to getting worse and worse as days go on. I am convinced that I am going to doe, either in my sleep or because of a terminal illness. I am refusing to go to sleep and if I do I make sure I set an alarm to wake me up every hour just in case. I even went to the hospital because I was going to die of lung cancer.
I'm lucky to have a partner who tries to be as understanding as possible but I know deep down he doesn't understand fully. Because we are hoping to start a family soon I don't want to go on medication. I used to be in medication for my depression but after 4 years I felt strong enough to come off them, with help from my doctor of course. I feel that if I do go back on medication that I have failed somehow.
I hate feeling like this but when my anxiety is at its worse it feels like that it's never going to end. Sorry if I rambled on but I think that it.helps to talk. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You shouldn't feel as if you failed, just cause you need to go back on meds. We only have one life, and we need to make the best of it, and if that means going back on meds well be it. But if you're planning on starting a family I wouldn't recommend meds. Welcome and I hope you make the right decision.

[superchick22684]

Hi all, I'm new to this site and I'd like to share how I'm feeling, more as a way to get my feelings out instead of keeping them bottled up.
I've had depression and anxiety since I was a teenager but lately (I'm 28 now) my anxiety is ruling my life! I have social, general and health anxiety and it is the health anxiety that seems to getting worse and worse as days go on. I am convinced that I am going to doe, either in my sleep or because of a terminal illness. I am refusing to go to sleep and if I do I make sure I set an alarm to wake me up every hour just in case. I even went to the hospital because I was going to die of lung cancer.
I'm lucky to have a partner who tries to be as understanding as possible but I know deep down he doesn't understand fully. Because we are hoping to start a family soon I don't want to go on medication. I used to be in medication for my depression but after 4 years I felt strong enough to come off them, with help from my doctor of course. I feel that if I do go back on medication that I have failed somehow.
I hate feeling like this but when my anxiety is at its worse it feels like that it's never going to end. Sorry if I rambled on but I think that it.helps to talk. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

First, I want to say welcome. Second, I want to say you are not alone in how you feel, many of us on this forum can relate to how you are feeling. I can relate to the feeling on failure in regards to taking medication. I just switched medications for the third time in a year. In some cases, I haven't been able to deal with the side effects and the antidepressant I just switched from what I can gather just stopped working.

Meds are just one of many methods that can be used to deal with anxiety. I have to keep reminding myself of that because it makes me feel like a failure to be on them sometimes. So I guess this is me saying that you are not alone in that feeling. If you someday decide to use meds try to think of it as a tool that you are using to help you with your anxiety. Trying to get help for your anxiety is not weakness but strength.