Feeling "normal" finally

[gadguy]

Its been an amazing fast paced 3 weeks. I feel normal...if I have ever felt normal, somewhat anxious and overwhelmed but in a good way if that possible. My Grandmother did great in the rehab center, she was originally scheduled for 20 days...she was home in 7, which is great...but we were not ready for her...house needed some modifications, but its all coming together, I head over to paint one day this week and it will be all finished. Meanwhile I am also doing a mini remodel on my house...its taking to long and costing to much, once I'm done with master bath I am going to have to take a break the $$ ran out for now. I had a minor medical issue, that kept me home for a week, because of the medication, plus an allergic reaction to same medication from heck. I have come to terms with my best Bud getting married and I very happy for both them, also I have a long list of things to do to help get ready for their wedding...it was supposed to be small about 30 people, its grown to about 100, but i don't mind helping out, I'm a better worker than guest. On top of that my Dad had a heart episode last week and ended up in hospital...but he is good. I feel like I am being pulled in about 100 different directions and I feel good...kinda like myself before my anxiety took more control of of my life or I should say before I allowed the anxiety to take more control of my life. The only thing I am missing right now is the OCD that my house had to be in a showroom state at all times...that went away with the first meds. Admittedly I need just a little more OCD to get caught up on housework LOL..its clean but not in order. I'm Good...way to many irons in fire, but I like it....I think after the wedding is over I'm gonna start dating again...I have not been on one since OCT.

[NixonRulz]

Amazing what a shift in thought patterns will do. That is great to hear

Keep your mind on that path!

[JustaGal]

Its been an amazing fast paced 3 weeks. I feel normal...if I have ever felt normal, somewhat anxious and overwhelmed but in a good way if that possible. My Grandmother did great in the rehab center, she was originally scheduled for 20 days...she was home in 7, which is great...but we were not ready for her...house needed some modifications, but its all coming together, I head over to paint one day this week and it will be all finished. Meanwhile I am also doing a mini remodel on my house...its taking to long and costing to much, once I'm done with master bath I am going to have to take a break the $$ ran out for now. I had a minor medical issue, that kept me home for a week, because of the medication, plus an allergic reaction to same medication from heck. I have come to terms with my best Bud getting married and I very happy for both them, also I have a long list of things to do to help get ready for their wedding...it was supposed to be small about 30 people, its grown to about 100, but i don't mind helping out, I'm a better worker than guest. On top of that my Dad had a heart episode last week and ended up in hospital...but he is good. I feel like I am being pulled in about 100 different directions and I feel good...kinda like myself before my anxiety took more control of of my life or I should say before I allowed the anxiety to take more control of my life. The only thing I am missing right now is the OCD that my house had to be in a showroom state at all times...that went away with the first meds. Admittedly I need just a little more OCD to get caught up on housework LOL..its clean but not in order. I'm Good...way to many irons in fire, but I like it....I think after the wedding is over I'm gonna start dating again...I have not been on one since OCT.

AWESOME! Me too...

[Im-Suffering]

What internal release emotional work have you done? There's a difference between releasing/healing completely.....

(in which case you would not even recognize the old you or identify with him)

...and running from yourself under the guise of a busy life. Keeping busy is a diversion, and once a trigger hits, the emotions come rushing back.

Now I'm not a party pooper here, you understand. The goal should not be a return to the same self you left. The anxiety was an impetus for change. Not to do the dance and return to the same self that got you into the predicament to begin with. When the busy dance ends, and the stressful triggers begin, what will you do?

You must heal/release do the inner work. Where you are left with an epiphany and you change along with the new value judgements and beliefs.

You do not rearrange the living room furniture for a change of atmosphere, and then put it right back where it was and proclaim you have a new room. That night sitting down to watch TV it will hit you what you have done.

You know I'm fond of you. I suggest to keep one eye open to your feelings (the other on your life) and do not let one bad feeling escape your awareness without addressing and releasing it's cause. Anxiety is the steaming kettle of years of suppressed feelings. So if anything learn to value what you feel and take the time to address them as they come up. Avoiding a volcanic eruption down the road.

All the best, my friend.

[jessed03]

Well, you sound very positive. That's what counts: having hope. Kudos to the guys that have helped you on here. I hope you continue to better yourself and can find a way to put the worst of your problems behind you.

And JustaGirl... Now you're feeling better, does that mean we're all invited to hang out in the OC with you?

[gypsylee]

I'm going to be a party pooper with Im-S LOL.

Just be careful because I've done this busy thing, thinking I'm good, and then I end up having a breakdown because I was unaware just how stressed I was. Pretty much the volcanic eruption Im-S mentions. Make sure you take time out!

:)

[JustaGal]

Well, you sound very positive. That's what counts: having hope. Kudos to the guys that have helped you on here. I hope you continue to better yourself and can find a way to put the worst of your problems behind you.

And JustaGirl... Now you're feeling better, does that mean we're all invited to hang out in the OC with you?

LOL - party in the OC! : )

[gadguy]

What internal release emotional work have you done? There's a difference between releasing/healing completely.....

(in which case you would not even recognize the old you or identify with him)

...and running from yourself under the guise of a busy life. Keeping busy is a diversion, and once a trigger hits, the emotions come rushing back.

Now I'm not a party pooper here, you understand. The goal should not be a return to the same self you left. The anxiety was an impetus for change. Not to do the dance and return to the same self that got you into the predicament to begin with. When the busy dance ends, and the stressful triggers begin, what will you do?

You must heal/release do the inner work. Where you are left with an epiphany and you change along with the new value judgements and beliefs.

You do not rearrange the living room furniture for a change of atmosphere, and then put it right back where it was and proclaim you have a new room. That night sitting down to watch TV it will hit you what you have done.

You know I'm fond of you. I suggest to keep one eye open to your feelings (the other on your life) and do not let one bad feeling escape your awareness without addressing and releasing it's cause. Anxiety is the steaming kettle of years of suppressed feelings. So if anything learn to value what you feel and take the time to address them as they come up. Avoiding a volcanic eruption down the road.

All the best, my friend.


I see what you are saying and I am being careful not to delude myself. I'm happy to be participating in life again, my world had gotten very small over the last 12-13 years and consisted of very little contact with others during that time. I even realized to 2 events that caused the shutdown to happen, The first being I was being used by the woman I intended to marry..once I discovered what was going on i felt worthless and that the only way someone would want me would to be just to use me. Now I figure I'm a good catch...gainfully employed, nice home, no exes, no children, no tie downs. The other was when a disgruntled employee pulled a knife on me.....the woman was mentally unbalanced, the police had to be called, she was fired. I've been threatened by her several times. I handled the situation at the time but when it was over...I had a total meltdown and withdrew more into myself...walls and more walls went up. Now I still keep an eye out for her, and have run into her several times while out, just recently she was in a pub I went to, I just ignored her..actually surprised she is still alive..she is only one in their family left that is not in prison for murder or has not been killed by someone in self defense.

I guess I just feel good coming out of my shell.