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Goomba
05-30-2015, 10:04 AM
More often that not, one can see how the anxiety experience is entirely based in, if not heavily influenced by a desire for control.

"I can't plan my life anymore"

"This isn't how I saw things going"

"I can't guarantee - insert panic event here - won't happen when I go out in public"

"I may get sick, or this may happen to me"

So on and so forth.

I want to communicate that control is a gimmick. It's a perception of security that doesn't really exist. At some point, a lot of people recognize this, and don't know how to perceive their reality anymore without said security.

One was never guaranteed that life wouldn't happen. Somewhere along the line, however, we tend accept that our lives will be just as we have painted them in our minds. When X factors begin to ruin that painting, anxiety is created.

When we begin to accept that we are not good enough, not strong enough, not healthy enough, as an identity (often through measures of not being in control), we no longer have a core self identity that is healthy - thus all of our perceptions change.

I do not mean to suggest this is the only route to anxiety, but I believe it is a common one.

It is ok - actually desirable to not be in control as we have been taught to. Through living for this moment and being grateful for every one that comes along, one can begin to see the beauty of living. Not monotonous, safe, controlled life, but actual living.

Through giving up the need to control and plan our lives, we can see life as it is, and actually gain true "control" - which is balance. We can begin to remember who we are - at our core - and start pursuing our dreams.

Don't live for the future, live for today, as that is all you are guaranteed. If you think about it, the past and future don't really exist - they are concepts. All we ever experience is the moment. Operate for the moment, not for future control. Through that operation, one can forge their path again.

It is better to make mistakes, than to make nothing at all.

Lilac
05-30-2015, 10:12 AM
Goomba friend, thank you so very much for this post. It is quite simple really, yet so extremely difficult to accept.

I just wrote a (looong) post about my fear of everything uncertain and not being able to control every aspects of my life (other people around me included), and how that affects my new relationship.

I needed to read this :)

Goomba
05-30-2015, 03:18 PM
Hey -

Glad it helped :)

Let me know if you'd like to talk more.

Dahila
05-30-2015, 05:10 PM
Yes , nice post Goomba and beautiful dog as you avatar. the worst is when we realize that we have nothing in control, and nothing goes according to our plan. Realizing it helps to recover not spending time on some "Life is beautiful" nonsense.
Accepting a lack of control put you right back in control, maybe no the same as you imagined but you take control of your life back :))

Im-Suffering
05-30-2015, 05:16 PM
Love the pic too. Beautiful dog.

Goomba
05-30-2015, 05:50 PM
Well said, Dahila.

Thanks for the compliments. That is a very close companion of mine. Always can make me smile.

Dahila
05-30-2015, 06:05 PM
it is a beautiful Husky is he not? I think it is a male husky. I love them to pieces :))

Goomba
05-30-2015, 06:56 PM
Yep, you got it!

He has more personality than me sometimes, lol.

Dahila
05-30-2015, 07:01 PM
They do, working dogs (he is in a group of working dogs) they have very independent personalities. The best dogs in difficult situation :))