Help, please! Escitalopram experiences?

[Zoot]

I've posted a lot of this in other threads but I am hoping maybe a few people will check a new thread and share their experiences. I know that no one can tell me what to do wrt my medication but I am so new at this and would appreciate others' perspectives.

I started Escitalopram a little over 6 weeks ago, been at 10 mg for over 5 weeks. There have been times that I've felt it is working. Overall I had experienced improvements in depression. My anxiety and depression both got significantly worse when I started the med (it was a rough few days) and I continued experiencing what seemed like heightened anxiety for several weeks. Last week my anxiety was better but I did feel more depressed (not as low as before starting the Escitalopram). Last week I was away in NYC and felt great and slept great while there for four days. But the last two nights I've had terrible insomnia (my insomnia got much worse when I started the Escitalopram) and I've been getting regular burning skin sensations (last night was really bad). And my anxiety really escalated yesterday. (It's possible that I accidentally took a double dose, 20 mg instead of 10 two days ago, but I'm not sure if that would affect me well into yesterday including during the night last night). So now I'm feeling pretty down and depressed, like before I started the med. The anxiety I've been experiencing lately doesn't feel worse than before the med but also doesn't feel better.

My question is, is it possible that the Escitalopram might still start to work in the next few weeks? My doctor suggested staying at this dose and keeping on Escitalopram for another three weeks though if I don't see any improvement the plan will be to switch to a different med, I think. Which is frustrating because I had such a rough time starting this one and don't want to go through that again. There have been times over the past 6 weeks when I've felt quite good and felt that the medication was working but now I'm not sure whether that might have been a placebo effect or that I was just feeling good for other reasons.

Any perspectives you can offer on this I will really appreciate. I'm just really discouraged and frustrated right now.

[mrslizzyg]

I'm going to be honest with you, from MY own experience- I don't know how it went for others... But I tried medications for a year, on and off different ones, until I found something that slightly helped.(that I still now decide not to take because of the side effects.)

Depression/anxiety medications are rough. It feels like a cycle sometimes that may never end... But your doctor is right, you HAVE to give them the time to see if it will work or not. They do not kick in right away.

Everyone is different. My experience is personal to me, yours is personal to you. The meds could help, or you could switch meds a few times without really finding something. It takes work sometimes... For some it is worth it, for others it isn't.

I say stick it out and see what happens. You are already this far in right? You don't have anything to lose at this point.

I really hope you find something that works for you. :) I do get the struggle you are having though, you aren't alone..

[Zoot]

I just feel awful today, as bad as I did before starting the med.

Should I feel like this after 6 weeks on the medication?

[mrslizzyg]

That's not something I can say... I'm not your doctor and I also don't know your situation well enough.
If you are feeling downright awful, don't take the meds. Try something different.
Personally I feel like 6 weeks is a good try, and I would call my doctor asking to stop this med.
But keep in mind, that is what I would do. I'm not saying this is what you should do.

[Zoot]

I appreciate your perspective. My sense is that, if I was clear yesterday when I met with my doctor, that my depression and anxiety was not improved, she would have taken me off this med. But I had had such good experiences the four days before in NYC that I thought the med was working. Today and yesterday, though, I'm definitely not feeling any better. My doctor is not in her office today and I can't get out there tomorrow but I will make an appointment to see her soon.

[Im-Suffering]

Make the connection between your own psychological state (mental frame of mind) and your physical experience. Leaving the medicine out of this equation for now.




....But I had had such good experiences the four days before in NYC that I thought the med was working.



You are meant to always have good experiences, period. The bad is only there, so to speak, to remind you of how good you wish to feel (you could feel), so you can work on getting back to that (desired) state. This innate joy is the foundation, underneath any medication. The external is a projection of your inner life. And so for those few days (NY) you chose to feel good. You must work yourself into a mental state where you always choose happiness, you understand, as you did pre-anxiety or depression. Before the onset of certain problems. If you still have some unresolved (mental) issues you must work through them. And then happiness can frame your experience.

The medication will compliment your own inner therapeutic powers. At some point, you can stand alone, without it. When the four days in NY turns into a whole year of joy, with maybe 4 days of anxiety, you see.

[Zoot]

You are meant to always have good experiences, period. The bad is only there, so to speak, to remind you of how good you wish to feel (you could feel), so you can work on getting back to that (desired) state. This innate joy is the foundation, underneath any medication. The external is a projection of your inner life. And so for those few days (NY) you chose to feel good. You must work yourself into a mental state where you always choose happiness, you understand, as you did pre-anxiety or depression. Before the onset of certain problems. If you still have some unresolved (mental) issues you must work through them. And then happiness can frame your experience.

The medication will compliment your own inner therapeutic powers. At some point, you can stand alone, without it. When the four days in NY turns into a whole year of joy, with maybe 4 days of anxiety, you see.

I guess the trick is figuring out how to do that.

I'm also still not sure whether to stick with this medication or not. It has been, in many ways, a horrible experience (side-effects-wise).

[Im-Suffering]

I guess the trick is figuring out how to do that.

I'm also still not sure whether to stick with this medication or not. It has been, in many ways, a horrible experience (side-effects-wise).

The trick? Intent. Expectation, and desire. A decision. Followed by action toward achievement.

A true decision is very powerful, it is the catalyst for change. So often we cannot decide or change our minds so quickly. In this case the decision would be to heal (emotionally), and go on to live a full happy life. Follow that firm decision with expectation, visualization, desire, and action.

Don't allow a horrible experience to continue. In any area of your life.

"My sense is that, if I was clear yesterday when I met with my doctor, that my depression and anxiety was not improved, she would have taken me off this med."

This is correct. So you will see her again soon. Dont lose heart. Revisit this post again after the medication is sorted out.

[Zoot]

I'm seeing my doctor today to discuss my side effects and progress. I had another largely sleepless night even after taking a larger does of trazodone (one that my doctor had prescribed but that I stopped taking because I end up with a headache in the morning). I had the burning skin sensation throughout the night. My appetite is also shot and I felt hungover and nauseous in the afternoon yesterday. I'm not sure that I can hack it with this medication.



It's frustrating because I feel I've made progress but part of me (perhaps foolishly) wants to see whether I will still have that progress without the medication. I was in a real low point when I started taking it, unusually low. I expect I will be doing better than that off the medication. Often my depressed feelings follow from my anxiety and I'm still experiencing a lot of anxiety on the escitalopram. (Though some of that may be from the activating effect it has on me.) A lot of my anxiety leading up to my real low was triggered (in my view) by health anxiety around stomach issues I was having. I've had a full set of tests and ruled out medical causes so maybe I can handle those stomach issues better now, knowing that they are "just" anxiety manifesting physically. Or maybe I'm just completely fooling myself.



If I do go off this medication, I think I'd like to stay off anything for a few weeks to see how it goes. I'm not sure I can handle starting another SSRI right away anyway, if the initial period is going to be as rough as the escitalopram. (One other time I tried effexor and stopped after 4 days because I couldn't handle it.)