How to deal with people not liking you?

[tryingto]

Thanks for the advice.

[gypsylee]

I just wanna apologize in advance if this is jumbled or doesn't make much sense. I'm tired and not in the best state.

I have really bad paranoia, and it always makes my anxiety even worse. In the past couple of months, I went through some weird stuff with a couple of people. I made a few mistakes and I'm sure it probably caused some people to not be a big fan of me. I didn't do anything terrible, mind you, but my mind blows everything out of proportion, so while it wasn't that bad I can't help but make it into something huge.

Anyway, I know these people don't absolutely hate me, but I'm scared that they do. I've never dealt with people disliking me. It freaks me out. I'm just worried that they're constantly talking badly about me, making people that don't even know me hate me, that they'd ruin my life if given the chance. I KNOW that these things aren't happening (these people are decent and kind, so I know they're not doing crap like that. I just can't help but think about it), but I can't stop. These people are on my mind all the time (when I say 'people,' I mean like... two to three people, if even that), and then I get scared that they somehow know I'm thinking about them (I'm honestly scared people can read my mind, even if they're across the country, like these folks are), and then I freak out more.

I dunno. My anxiety is just really bad because of this. I worry that I'll never be able to stop thinking about them and these awful thoughts. I've had obsessive thoughts since I was a kid, so this is nothing new. And actually, I've dealt with this same situation before, back in high school. There were some kids who picked on me daily, so they made me an anxious wreck just like this, too. So I know with time, like a month or so, all this is will be out of my mind, but god, it's so hard to deal with.

I just started taking Mirtazapine just a few days ago (I have terrible depression to boot), but it hasn't really helped with my mood much, just makes me super hungry and tired so far. Do you think once it kicks in that it could possibly help with my obsessive thoughts, too? What about anxiety and paranoia? I guess I just need someone to tell me to calm down, that nobody would hate me for a small ass mistake, that I have nothing to worry about. I already know these things myself, but they aren't sticking in my brain, and having someone help is always nice. I dunno, I'd appreciate any kind words. Sorry for the rambling.

P.S. all of you are super awesome and sweet. I hope you're all doing well! :)

Hey there :)

Are you the guy who had the online drama?

I've been on Mirtazapine and it's good for sleep but not much else I found. Give it a go though - everyone's brain chemistry is different.

Unless you've done something really awful, people generally don't think about you. Everyone is too busy worrying about themselves!

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[gypsylee]

LOL@"it's what I do"

I know, it's what we all do. But you can learn to not do it :)

[Mr Jingles]

You said "Anyway, I know these people don't absolutely hate me, but I'm scared that they do." That's the hard part for me. When I'm rational, I know that like Gypsy said, people don't think much about me.

Add a little fear and irrationality to the mix, and what I know goes out the window. Suddenly I'm convinced everyone in this small town can see my fear and is talking about it and worst of all is uncomfortable around me or thinks I'm broken, etc.

I was convinced a work associate thought my work wasn't good enough and that's why he wasn't returning my emails. I decided to let it go for a while. Come to find out he was just really really busy. Nothing to do with me.

[Im-Suffering]

I was convinced a work associate thought my work wasn't good enough and that's why he wasn't returning my emails. I decided to let it go for a while. Come to find out he was just really really busy. Nothing to do with me.



A figment-image (imaginings) of your inner projections, based solely on beliefs about who you are, and who you are in relation to the world. I have responded to this in greater detail in the 'jelly belly' thread.

Indeed however if you would have held that thought long enough and with sufficient energy, you would have created the experience of your work being not good enough. You turned your energies away and that probable event dissipated. (the energy behind it). it remained latent among all experience. You get therefor what you concentrate on and expect.

But for the OP here it cant be stressed enough that he (she) sees what he wants to see. No exceptions.