Sexual performance anxiety and psychological ED

[help]

I'm not sure if I have come to the right place for posting this but am feeling extremely anxious and would appreciate any advice or relevant information which can be offered.
So here goes:

I had sex with my partner recently and lasted for around 25 minutes before I inexplicably could no longer penetrate. This hasn't happened before so I was mildly concerned. The issue occupied my mind for the rest of the day and when I tried to sleep with her the following day I barely sustained myself for more than 10 minutes. Since then my head has been heavy with anxious thoughts and the fear that I will never be able to have sex again is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore and easier to believe. I have been struggling to think about anything else.

I would like to know if anyone on here experiences/has experienced anything similar and if so how long it lasted and if/how it can be cured.

As a side-note I do have certain knowledge that this is a purely psychological condition;not physical.

Thank you.

[Goomba]

Hey - quick thoughts as I am about to go out:

I struggled with this for a while, and yes you can get over it. I think the biggest contributor for me was that I was stuck inside my head all of the time. Instead of focusing on the beautiful woman in front of me, I was paying attention to how good it felt, how hard I was, how fulfilled I was, etc. Basically, sex wasn't an experience with a woman, it was an experience with the doubts in my mind.

So, no longer was it, alrigggghhhhttt, time to get naked - it was, I really hope I can get hard this time. That thought in and of itself would ruin my experience. Or, if by the end, my ejaculation was weak, I thought I was on the road of never being able to have fulfilling sex again, so the next time it was going to happen I had already sold my self short.

I was having bad anxiety when this stuff hit full force, so tackling that was a part of getting over it. I can relate to the fear the transition of being able to last a long time, to not so long can cause. But, keep in mind, most men don't last a very long time.

But, anyway, for me getting back into my prime was about:

Owning, and tackling my doubts.

Being in the moment of sex, and not in my head.

Not trying to control sex. In example, needing to experience certain positions to feel satisfied, having the expectation of being rock hard the whole time, pornography had shown me that I am supposed to shoot a mile, and a gallon of it, everytime I finish - not the truth. Also, if you watch porn, I would stop (at least until you get back in your a game), as it creates unrealistic expectations, and higher levels of kinkiness that need to be reached for fulfillment. Recognize it for what it is - entertainment, not reality.

And, also, recognizing that I am not 13 anymore, and have experienced a lot of things. It's ok if it takes more than someone mentioning the word boob for me to get/stay aroused.

Anyway, hope this helps some. Sorry if my details offend you, or anyone, but I feel they are necessary to accurately describe how I was feeling.

You can 100% percent conquer this.

[gypsylee]

I'm not sure if I have come to the right place for posting this but am feeling extremely anxious and would appreciate any advice or relevant information which can be offered.
So here goes:

I had sex with my partner recently and lasted for around 25 minutes before I inexplicably could no longer penetrate. This hasn't happened before so I was mildly concerned. The issue occupied my mind for the rest of the day and when I tried to sleep with her the following day I barely sustained myself for more than 10 minutes. Since then my head has been heavy with anxious thoughts and the fear that I will never be able to have sex again is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore and easier to believe. I have been struggling to think about anything else.

I would like to know if anyone on here experiences/has experienced anything similar and if so how long it lasted and if/how it can be cured.

As a side-note I do have certain knowledge that this is a purely psychological condition;not physical.

Thank you.

Ok from a woman's perspective - this happens a lot more than you guys realise :)

[Goomba]

Ok from a woman's perspective - this happens a lot more than you guys realise :)

What're you trying to say! Haha

[jessed03]

Ok from a woman's perspective - this happens a lot more than you guys realise :)

Maybe you're just gripping it too tight?

[gypsylee]

I'm saying real men aren't like porn stars ;)

....They also don't eat quiche at picnics lololol.

[josh0745]

Hey there,

I see this post is well over a year old, but I'm having similar issue and wanted to know how things were going for you? Any go to strategies for keeping your head in the mood and out of pointless thoughts? I am having a lot of trouble with my GAD right now and I think it exacerbates this sex issue.... I have been having psychological ED for about two years off and on.

Josh

[Teafrenzy]

For some reason for me, when I get anxious, I get much hornier. When I calm down from anxiety, then I lose my mood. But I have had issues with ED myself too. I think you got to do your best to relax and maybe see a sex therapist/councellor.

[Kirk]

Let me tell you a story that happened to me when I was a young man of 20 or 21. A friend of mine introduced me to a cute blond haired girl named Melissa. We dated a bit and then we were ready to roll, so we went back to my apartment. For the life of me, I could not get hard and the harder I tried, the smaller I got. it was like a turtle going back in its shell. I was very ashamed and felt like sticking my head in the ground like an ostrich. Luckily she was very forgiving and I made up for it next time. it happens to all of us at one time or another.

[josh0745]

For some reason for me, when I get anxious, I get much hornier. When I calm down from anxiety, then I lose my mood. But I have had issues with ED myself too. I think you got to do your best to relax and maybe see a sex therapist/councellor.

That's happened to me a couple times, and I'm at the point to where I might have to see a professional. I am going to ask my therapist if she has any recommendations. Thanks for your comment !