Frustrated

[Velvet]

My husband is doing well with his anxiety, but my car just broke down. I want to take a 5 minute bus ride to go on a date, and he won't do it. So now I'm hurt and frustrated, and he's just sitting there playing video games. "Buses have weird people on them." Everyone is weird Hun. You'll be fine.

[Kuma]

My husband is doing well with his anxiety, but my car just broke down. I want to take a 5 minute bus ride to go on a date, and he won't do it. So now I'm hurt and frustrated, and he's just sitting there playing video games. "Buses have weird people on them." Everyone is weird Hun. You'll be fine.

Sounds like you need the NWPB (the "no weird people bus"!)

Maybe a taxi?

[Velvet]

Hehe maybe. And he won't take a taxi either, they scare him. Which, I can understand. His last instance of being in a taxi was in Boston, and I'm still reeling from when I rode in one down there too! Lol. I just want some sushi, but I don't like going out to eat without him.

[Kuma]

Hehe maybe. And he won't take a taxi either, they scare him. Which, I can understand. His last instance of being in a taxi was in Boston, and I'm still reeling from when I rode in one down there too! Lol. I just want some sushi, but I don't like going out to eat without him.

When I am eating alone (which I do a fair amount, when traveling for work) sushi is one of my favorites. Maybe that is because I can sit at the sushi bar, rather than awkwardly sitting at a table alone....

So what would your husband say if you said to him "I realize you find the bus or taxi to be unpleasant or scary, but I really want to go to dinner tonight and I don't want to go alone, so would you please do me a favor and put aside your fear or disgust of buses and taxis, and join me"?

Would that just lead to an argument or an unpleasant evening (in which case clearly it is not worth it)?

Or would it lead to him pushing the outer limits of his comfort zone a little bit, in order to make you happy -- and then afterward feeling good about it -- because he made you happy and the bus or taxi ride did not result in any harm? And then maybe next time feeling less apprehensive about the bus/taxi? Sometimes when we push the limits of our comfort zone in order to make others happy, we are the ones who benefit the most. But of course each situation is different....

[Velvet]

It wouldn't lead to an argument, but I'm worried about the effect it may have on him while we try to have dinner. As much as I've helped him push himself in the past, he would be anxious about the idea he wouldn't be able to go straight home if needed.