May Trigger~Ruff day and morning

[lisad]

Well, yesterday was ruff, my mom went back to the doctor and she has Bladder Cancer again, this will be the 3rd time she has had to have a tumor removed from there all in separate spots. Cancer seems to send me in to a tail spin, although I do not stress about cancer, my biggest fear is cardiovascular. Since I talked to mom yesterday and she told me what was going on I have been having random pains in my shoulder, tight chest off and on, and every little thing is triggering a attack. I am hoping that this is just the anxiety! But how in the world do you tell the difference between actual heart issues and anxiety? I am to the point that I am picking at my arms and skin, every little spot is driving me insane today! Any advise

[Tremor]

First of all, I'm sorry about your mother's situation. It's never easy to deal with these things, especially people like us who are prone to worry.

As for you and your heart concerns. We both know that it probably is just anxiety, but telling yourself that can be difficult. What I used to do, and still do at times, is get up and start moving. Physical exercise always seems to mask my symptoms and distract my mind. And realistically, if it was heart related, you wouldn't be able to do it. Hope that helps a little?

[Im-Suffering]

You are not afraid of the cancer itself, you are afraid that mom has cancer, and what you imagine could happen. That is what you must deal with. Sooner rather than later. By facing that, you will feel better, and better able to support mom, and help her through this time.

You fear cardiovascular problems because that is symbolic of this whole experience, which is breaking your heart, period.


Well, yesterday was ruff, my mom went back to the doctor and she has Bladder Cancer again, this will be the 3rd time she has had to have a tumor removed from there all in separate spots. Cancer seems to send me in to a tail spin, although I do not stress about cancer, my biggest fear is cardiovascular. Since I talked to mom yesterday and she told me what was going on I have been having random pains in my shoulder, tight chest off and on, and every little thing is triggering a attack. I am hoping that this is just the anxiety! But how in the world do you tell the difference between actual heart issues and anxiety? I am to the point that I am picking at my arms and skin, every little spot is driving me insane today! Any advise

Whatever your age - there can be help.

Find someone who can help you deal with this (repeated) emotional experience (trauma). A councilor, therapist. Do not store these emotions in the body or repress them. (suppress them). Be completely open with your fears, completely. That would be good advice for mom too, have a talk with her. Something is bothering her to where if her emotions found a release, there would be renewed vitality in her own life (important), but I will not go into that unless it is in PM.

Make sure you get an ear every week, to whom you can release pent up feelings. Your emotional storehouse only has so much room before it flows over.

Do not feel guilty - about helping yourself - through the rough times. Whenever you may encounter choppy seas throughout life. Never fear to hear or suppress your own unique voice.

[Kuma]

I know something about what you might be feeling. My dad died of cancer. And now my mom has cancer. I agree with I'm Suffering that having someone you can talk with about it is good. That might be a counselor or a close friend or your spouse if you are married, or a religious leader if you practice a religion, or whatever. It is also good to visit your mom as much as possible. I always come away from these visits more upbeat, rather than more depressed. And even if that were not the case, a sick person usually enjoys having their family visit. In the future, you will be glad you took the time to visit, to spend as much time as possible, etc.

I know what you mean about feeling various pains, and when you have "cancer on the brain" thinking every one of them could be cancer (or some other dreaded illness). But you know that this is just your mind playing tricks on you. And you can remind yourself of that whenever you feel such pains.