overwhelmed

[adi45]

I am new here...i gave birth 7weeks ago to my fourth child..i am so anxious and depressed i can hardly breathe...i think my kids would be better off without me...close to just giving up....i am totally disorganized..cannot get it together..my baby still doesnt smile my older kids resent me.....

[Kuma]

I am new here...i gave birth 7weeks ago to my fourth child..i am so anxious and depressed i can hardly breathe...i think my kids would be better off without me...close to just giving up....i am totally disorganized..cannot get it together..my baby still doesnt smile my older kids resent me.....

Welcome. Congratulations on the birth. As all of us who have kids know, a new baby is a lot of work -- without a lot of sleep! Having three other kids can make it even more overwhelming. So if you feel a little bit overwhelmed and disorganized, don't be too hard on yourself. Being a bit overwhelmed when taking care of a new baby and three other kids -- and while you are also still recovering from a birth -- just makes you a normal human being. Your kids would definitely NOT be better off without you. Indeed, they are very fortunate to have a mother who is trying as hard as you are to do all the right things.

Some post-birth depression and anxiety is not uncommon. You might want to talk with your doctor about this. Assuming that you are not currently seeing a therapist, you could call either your general practice doctor or your ObGyn. If you are honest with them about how you are feeling, they may be able to give you some good advice or perhaps refer you to a therapist who is experienced in helping mothers deal with post birth anxiety, depression, feelings of being overwhelmed, etc. I think it would be worthwhile talking with your doctor about this. Why suffer if there are ways you can learn to deal with this more effectively and be more happy?

Also, if you can take even some small amounts of time for yourself, that could help. I realize that is not easy with a new baby and three other kids. But I found when we had our kids that if my wife even had one hour to herself, it made a difference.

Good luck. You will get past this very difficult time, and then you will have a life of happiness with 4 kids who will be grateful to have you as their mom. Being a mother is the hardest -- and the best -- job in the world.

[adi45]

I simply hate myself....i cant..i cant...i want to run away...my kids deserve better...trust ne

[adi45]

There aew plenty of women out thete who can do the job beyter than me..i love my kids..i want wats best for them....

[Kuma]

I suspect that you are just overwhelmed by the physical recovery, the exhaustion, the emotion of having a new baby, the hormonal things that can happen after a birth, the lack of sleep and the sheer workload.

YOU are the best person for your kids. You are imperfect. We are all imperfect. You wish you could do better. We all wish we could do better. But you want the best for your kids. And nobody else is going to be more motivated than you to get the best for them.

If you think you are at a crisis point, then you need to get help immediately. You can call a crisis hotline if you need to.

Otherwise, I really urge you to call your doctor (GP or ObGyn, or therapist if you have one) and tell them what you are experiencing and how overwhelming it is for you, and ask them if they can give you, or point you in the direction of, some help.

I know this may seem hard to believe, but many women have dealt with precisely the same emotions that you are dealing with, and have (often with some help) gotten past it and been great moms. Don't suffer alone, and don't suffer in silence. Call your doctor and tell her/him what you are feeling, and ask for help. If not for your own sake, do it for the sake of your kids. Meanwhile, try to get some rest and keep doing the best you can.

[gypsylee]

I am new here...i gave birth 7weeks ago to my fourth child..i am so anxious and depressed i can hardly breathe...i think my kids would be better off without me...close to just giving up....i am totally disorganized..cannot get it together..my baby still doesnt smile my older kids resent me.....

God.. I only have one child (now 13yo). I can't imagine what a newborn and 3 other children would be like!

I had a breakdown when mine was about 18 months because I was just worn out - my husband was pretty useless and we didn't live near my family, so I didn't have much support.

Hang in there..
Gypsy x