Real life (un)helpful suggestions to cure your anxiety or depression

[Deano99]

Real life helpful suggestions from friends, family and co-workers to beat my 13 years of anxiety disorders........

(un)helpful suggestions include

-you don't need to be anxious at the wedding/funeral/party as today isn't about you.
-pull yourself together
-get a grip
-think about it logically
-think about it rationally
-what's the worse that could happen
-but you've done this before
-you can't be agoraphobic cos you go outside
-stop being selfish
-you're wasting your life being like this
-take a look in the mirror
-act like a man
-you'll regret all this on your death bed
-It's only a panic attack

After all these were said to me I found myself suddenly seeing the light and was cured! (said with huge amounts of sarcasm)


Please feel free to add any helpful comments that people have suggested to you

[gypsylee]

People: "Just relax!"

Me: "Oh wow I hadn't thought of that, thanks!"

:)

[Jmillhimes]

People: "Just relax!"

Me: "Oh wow I hadn't thought of that, thanks!"

:)

It's funny you say that! I had a nurologist tell
Me this after my doctor sent me in for some scans to ensure I wasn't having a stroke! Guy didn't scan me but lectured me and told me I needed to get a grip and relax or I was gonna have a heart attack! I was like " great advice to a person with anxiety bro! Safe to say I got my co pay back and never went back

[Deano99]

"Just Relax" , Now you tell me!

If I had of known this 13 years ago I wouldn't have been in this position. It's so obvious, the cure was in front of me all this time :-)

[Im-Suffering]

Lets bring in some much needed clarity, as that will be your saving grace -

The purpose of life is to continually create self (and its experiences), look upon them, and judge them with clarity, making the appropriate necessary changes to inner self toward fulfillment, and of course an enriching overall experience. Not to bemoan and lament as a 'helpless' victim, so to speak.

An inventor puts his ideas to paper, you see, but only with real world feedback as he begins to build his machine can he then make the appropriate adjustments to his creation. Very few get it 'right' the first try. This is done with the imagination, against a final working device. And so with anxiety, this is the way out too - using the imagination (thought word, and deed) constructively toward a 'healthy' end, you see. Rather than focus on what is not wanted. Knowing you get what you want, either way.


"Just Relax" , Now you tell me!

If I had of known this 13 years ago I wouldn't have been in this position. It's so obvious, the cure was in front of me all this time :-)

Now, use what you have learned to search inside self for answers, you see. That is what all of this has taught you. Everyone you face, including those on this obscure 'message board' are nothing but a mirror for your beliefs at your core, (the interpretation of the world, ideas, and relationships, and what you consider facts of life). All gauged, judged against your early conditioning. What is fact or fiction, what your truth is. Which was established very early on.

So when you are faced with 'just relax', this is the mirror. You indeed feel that is what you 'should' do, and would do, if not faced with this illusive dis-ease of the mind, (in your terms). In a very real sense you project onto the world those portions of inner self that you will not face, and then you are met squarely with yourself, period. As real world feedback. If you do not like what you see, change inside first, you understand. Every portion of reality, no exceptions, what you meet daily, is a reflection of inner thoughts, feelings, and expectations, no exceptions. (beliefs). It can be said both you are your peers are co-creating a mass dream.

That is all i will say, unless there are questions. It is your journey. You may PM if you wish for privacy. (once you have 10 posts i believe. i havent looked at your post count)

[Kuma]

<The purpose of life is to continually create self (and its experiences)...>

Wow. I have been searching for "the purpose of life" for so long, and now I am finally told what it is. Who would have thought I would learn what the "purpose of life" is on an internet board. And how fortunate am I that I ran into the one person who actually knows what is the purpose of life. This must be my lucky day.

[Kuma]

And to Dean, the OP, I totally get where you are coming from. It is like telling an anorexic person "just eat more." On the other hand, I have actually appreciated some people who tried to "force" me to think about things more logically or rationally, and particularly not to over-estimate risk, which I am convinced is a core element of anxiety. Maybe there's just something about the way it is said...

[jessed03]

<The purpose of life is to continually create self (and its experiences)...>

Wow. I have been searching for "the purpose of life" for so long, and now I am finally told what it is. Who would have thought I would learn what the "purpose of life" is on an internet board. And how fortunate am I that I ran into the one person who actually knows what is the purpose of life. This must be my lucky day.

Bet you're glad you joined the Anxiety Forum and not the Anxiety Zone now!

[gypsylee]

It's funny you say that! I had a nurologist tell
Me this after my doctor sent me in for some scans to ensure I wasn't having a stroke! Guy didn't scan me but lectured me and told me I needed to get a grip and relax or I was gonna have a heart attack! I was like " great advice to a person with anxiety bro! Safe to say I got my co pay back and never went back

Yeah that shows zero understanding of anxiety. That's exactly our problem - we can't just relax and we fear things like heart attacks. So that kind of advice just feeds the anxiety.

[gypsylee]

Bet you're glad you joined the Anxiety Forum and not the Anxiety Zone now!

Just lol........

[PanicCured]

Lets bring in some much needed clarity, as that will be your saving grace -

The purpose of life is to continually create self (and its experiences), look upon them, and judge them with clarity, making the appropriate necessary changes to inner self toward fulfillment, and of course an enriching overall experience. Not to bemoan and lament as a 'helpless' victim, so to speak.

An inventor puts his ideas to paper, you see, but only with real world feedback as he begins to build his machine can he then make the appropriate adjustments to his creation. Very few get it 'right' the first try. This is done with the imagination, against a final working device. And so with anxiety, this is the way out too - using the imagination (thought word, and deed) constructively toward a 'healthy' end, you see. Rather than focus on what is not wanted. Knowing you get what you want, either way.



Now, use what you have learned to search inside self for answers, you see. That is what all of this has taught you. Everyone you face, including those on this obscure 'message board' are nothing but a mirror for your beliefs at your core, (the interpretation of the world, ideas, and relationships, and what you consider facts of life). All gauged, judged against your early conditioning. What is fact or fiction, what your truth is. Which was established very early on.

So when you are faced with 'just relax', this is the mirror. You indeed feel that is what you 'should' do, and would do, if not faced with this illusive dis-ease of the mind, (in your terms). In a very real sense you project onto the world those portions of inner self that you will not face, and then you are met squarely with yourself, period. As real world feedback. If you do not like what you see, change inside first, you understand. Every portion of reality, no exceptions, what you meet daily, is a reflection of inner thoughts, feelings, and expectations, no exceptions. (beliefs). It can be said both you are your peers are co-creating a mass dream.

That is all i will say, unless there are questions. It is your journey. You may PM if you wish for privacy. (once you have 10 posts i believe. i havent looked at your post count)

WTF?

Da fuq?

uh...


People say these things to tell you to relax and get a grip because they want to help. Don't blame them. They don't know what else to say and think it will help and if someone never had anxiety before they don't understand it. The good thing is you don't need other people's validity to get your anxiety better or for any other reason. The reality is, you do need to get a grip, snap out of it and relax, but the problem is this happens as a long term process little by little and probably not in one milisecond.

[gypsylee]

Yeah but it can make you feel worse and set you back. People should learn to shut their mouths if they don't understand a condition. I don't give advice to cancer patients!

[PanicCured]

Yeah but it can make you feel worse and set you back. People should learn to shut their mouths if they don't understand a condition. I don't give advice to cancer patients!

Cancer is a physical deadly disease that can be measured and quantified and can potentially leave a person to die a slow miserable death, anxiety is a bluff where the person believes all things are wrong that are imaginary when nothing is actually really seriously wrong with them. There is no comparison of the two. Yes, anxiety has a physical component too such as a hypersensitive nervous system, but the person observing someone with anxiety screaming how they will have a heart attack, go insane or their head will blow up after the doctor assures them they are normal, doesn't see them as someone who has cancer. If you want everyone who will not be completely understanding of your anxiety to never say things insensitive, then you will be very disappointed regularly. Someone who never had a panic attack sees someone tripping out on something that isn't there, of course they will say just chill. Why not just accept this and not try and convince everyone that you really have a problem, unless you enjoy uphill battles?

[Luna99]

My favorite advice from people is just relax. My second favorite is exercise.

[Luna99]

Another is you don't really need medication because its all in your head.

[jessed03]

Another is you don't really need medication because its all in your head.

Anxiety medication? You mean, whiskey? ;)

[Luna99]

Anxiety medication? You mean, whiskey? ;)
If only i could tolerate alcohol, it would be the cheaper alternative lol

[Jmillhimes]

If only i could tolerate alcohol, it would be the cheaper alternative lol

Funny story! I use to get nervous all the time and it lead to me drinking before going out into public! Then I drank so much everyday I had a heart issue where my heart can't take much alcohol or smoking! After I quit the alcohol I realized I had the anxiety that I always covered up! Truth be told, the alcohol helped but boy was that a blanket

[Luna99]

Funny story! I use to get nervous all the time and it lead to me drinking before going out into public! Then I drank so much everyday I had a heart issue where my heart can't take much alcohol or smoking! After I quit the alcohol I realized I had the anxiety that I always covered up! Truth be told, the alcohol helped but boy was that a blanket
Wow! I'm sorry to hear that.

[gypsylee]

Cancer is a physical deadly disease that can be measured and quantified and can potentially leave a person to die a slow miserable death, anxiety is a bluff where the person believes all things are wrong that are imaginary when nothing is actually really seriously wrong with them. There is no comparison of the two. Yes, anxiety has a physical component too such as a hypersensitive nervous system, but the person observing someone with anxiety screaming how they will have a heart attack, go insane or their head will blow up after the doctor assures them they are normal, doesn't see them as someone who has cancer. If you want everyone who will not be completely understanding of your anxiety to never say things insensitive, then you will be very disappointed regularly. Someone who never had a panic attack sees someone tripping out on something that isn't there, of course they will say just chill. Why not just accept this and not try and convince everyone that you really have a problem, unless you enjoy uphill battles?

You also need to learn to shut your mouth lol.

[PanicCured]

You also need to learn to shut your mouth lol.

Except everything I say is accurate and worthy of reading and implementing.