I don't feel normal

[alyssum]

This is my first time ever going on a forum, a friend told me to check out forums awhile back and I've decided to. So my whole life I've dealt with anxiety, I went to a doctor about 3 weeks ago and now I have medicine for anxiety, it just seems that everything keeps getting worse. My friends don't understand what I'm going through. I'm afraid to talk about it too. No one gets that this is more than a little bit of stress from time to time, it's just so hard to explain that I haven't been normal my whole life and I now realize how bad it's gotten. So I guess I'm seeking advice or even just someone who understands me because it just feel like no one does. My parents try to read me like a book, my friends just say that it'll get better and I'm scared that it won't. I can't even look my best friend in the eyes because I'm afraid of the monster inside of me that he'll see. I'm scared to be honest. My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences and I'm always afraid another one will strike. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated, I feel pretty alone in this right now.

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

What medicine do you have?

Anxiety can be such a horrible, lonely experience because people without it just don't know what you go through. It's better understood now than twenty years ago when I was diagnosed, but still not that well. You still get people saying "just relax!" and for you that's the hardest thing in the world.

Anyway, there are lots of people here who do understand how you feel.

All the best,
Gypsy x

P.S. The main board here is "General Discussion" in the Anxiety Disorders section :)

[Im-Suffering]

I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.




My whole life I've dealt with anxiety.

Everything keeps getting worse.

My friends don't understand what I'm going through.

I'm afraid to talk about it.

No one gets (me) that this is more than a little bit of stress.

I haven't been normal my whole life.

I'm afraid of the monster inside of me. (VERY powerful and telling statement of fact)

I'm scared to be honest.

My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences.

I'm always afraid another one will strike.

I feel alone in this.




What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

This is frightening.

Now,

Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

"My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

Love and light - to fight the beast.

[alyssum]

I'm taking Prozac. I had been taking 10 milligrams for two weeks and my doctor upped it to 20 four days ago.

[tryingto]

It really is hard and frustrating when people aren't able to understand what you're dealing with, especially when it's those close to you because you feel like you can't go to them for help. Just know that even if they can't understand you fully, that they're always there for you and will always love you.

Otherwise, there are plenty of people here who do understand and can relate to you! I'm sure you'll always be able to find help here. :)

[aronza]

I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.






What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

This is frightening.

Now,

Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

"My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

Love and light - to fight the beast.


Wow, I've never tried this before but it's very insightful!

[av1988]

This is my first time ever going on a forum, a friend told me to check out forums awhile back and I've decided to. So my whole life I've dealt with anxiety, I went to a doctor about 3 weeks ago and now I have medicine for anxiety, it just seems that everything keeps getting worse. My friends don't understand what I'm going through. I'm afraid to talk about it too. No one gets that this is more than a little bit of stress from time to time, it's just so hard to explain that I haven't been normal my whole life and I now realize how bad it's gotten. So I guess I'm seeking advice or even just someone who understands me because it just feel like no one does. My parents try to read me like a book, my friends just say that it'll get better and I'm scared that it won't. I can't even look my best friend in the eyes because I'm afraid of the monster inside of me that he'll see. I'm scared to be honest. My anxiety attacks have become common occurrences and I'm always afraid another one will strike. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated, I feel pretty alone in this right now.

I was in your shoes for a long time. You are PERFECTLY normal. Your brain is having a battle with itself. When you have a panic attack, your brain is moving too fast for you to think rationally. This scares us. What worked for me is CONVINCING yourself that you aren't going to die. You don't have a tumor in your throat. You aren't having a heart attack! All of those things were just fears for me. If you fear something enough, your body can THINK that those symptoms are happening. When I had panic attacks, my throat actually would swell. This made me panic more! It was terrifying.

BUT THEN! But then I realized that when I wasn't having a panic attack, my throat was perfectly fine. I thought to myself "Hmmm, AV1988, that's a pretty big coincidence that when you panic, your throat feels tighter...but when you're at home playing video games you feel 100% fine".

It's not coincidence. It's a fact that my anxiety created the symptoms.

Alyssum, you have survived 100% of your panic attacks. It's time you convince your mind. It's hard to train the brain. You can do this. You're undefeated when battling your panic attacks. You've made it through each one!

Reach out if you ever need anything. You can do this. Drive on!

[MainerMikeBrown]

Feeling and thinking that nobody understands how you feel isn't easy.

I think that some people know how you feel more than others. Some can relate to you more than others.

[James Boelter]

I have restructured your post to highlight the truth inside of you. IF you read it as is - (in acute form below), with typo-emphasis from a 3rd party perspective you just might glean insight - maybe. Hopefully before IT attacks again.




What is this BEAST you speak of? What does IT look like? Have you had any training in slaying IT? Why does IT strike you? Do you have weapons, armor, and a shield to protect against ITS advances ?

This is frightening.

Now,

Lets rewrite it, with only the underlined words forming a paragraph. To see whats really in that fearful mind. Still, your own words, just condensed to expose the real thoughts :

"My whole life, everything, my friends just don't understand...Im afraid, no one gets me, that I'm not normal....MONSTER ! I'm scared..Inside me..HONEST !...Common occurrence (attacks), I'm always afraid of another strike ! I feel so alone.....Please..Help me."

That condensed (thought/feeling/emotion of pure fear) is the result of your beliefs about self and who you are. And I have just given you in our little play time here the reasons for the anxiety your whole life, and where to look for the beast, and face it. The above condensed paragraph in quotes is most likely the same emotion displayed, truthfully, among many readers here, at least internally. Most are afraid of expression, as you are. Those suppressed ideas that you hold about self and the world (lies) keep the monster fed and able to chase you relentlessly.

Love and light - to fight the beast.

I have mace +4 against Orcs and Thornmail armor. Just kidding, I like what you've done here! Helped me out! Great Job!

[Kierstennotsojoy]

I've felt with anxiety the majority of my whole life. O don't use any prescriptions, I mainly use natural methods such as magnesium, Valerian, beer(hops) and I find those work better than prescriptions.
As for trying to talk to people I was lucky enough to have a very open minded family. I can talk to them about anything and everything about how I feel, what I feel during an episode, how I feel so different from other people(like sleeping 2-4 hours a night because I'm scared to sleep) and I find it really helps my relationship with everyone. I try to get them to understand what I go through, the crying, the panic of sudden death, the fears I face everyday. I tell them how I see it through my eyes. Maybe you should be super open and lay it all on the line. Reading you like a book won't help anything if you don't talk to them. They love you, for you. Your friend is your friend because he sees something in you that most other people don't have. Open up and tell them your struggle, how it's not just something you will all of the sudden be cured of. It could take awhile until you get better, and you need to make that clear. My aunt is a psychologist who works with children that suffer from anxiety and she said she sees a lot of improvement in children who are open with people because then people try to understand, they help stay away from triggers and in the end see a light at the end of the tunnel on both sides.

Don't feel alone because I'm sure you have many people who think the world of you. Just be open and honest. And if you need an ear, just message me. I understand what it's like. Just remember you are NOT alone.
Pushing positive vibes your way!
-Kiersten Joy

[programer]

Anxiety and it's related stuff have ruined my life. OCD has always tormented me. Anyways, I will leave my life the way It is till the End. I have lost soo much to Anxiety. My GF left me due to my incredible wiredness.

[JenXO]

Things get better just give it time. Everyone has anxiety to some degree some have it worse than others. Don't be so hard on yourself I have OCD too and I know we can be our own worst enemies. You will find someone who accepts you as you are. That is her loss not hers. I am sure you are a nice person.

[jonathangilbert]

I also don't feel normal. I've never felt normal in my whole life.

[Kirk]

No one is completely normal in all aspects of life, so don't be too hard on yourself.

[deepbreaths74]

What is normal? I hear you though. It's interesting...when you start sharing and opening up you learn that a lot of people, even those you would least suspect, have had struggles with anxiety or depression. I know it's hard, however you need to find someone that will love you for who you are and that you can be yourself with...just my two cents!