A wonder of human physiology

[willheal]

I went to the psychiatrist & had to be taken off one medication and be put on another. Xanax -> Ativan

I was just having too many adverse reactions to the Xanax and it was making my sleep all wonky.

Anyway, he's always insisted that I have OCD because I focus on a lot of specific things when I talk to him in his office. I do have obsessive behaviors, but we had a breakthrough and discovered the bigger issue at hand may be my nervous system is running perhaps way too fast. I'm too stimulated, and it's all coming in at too high of a threshold; ultimately I have no way of sorting through what is essentially noise or junk. (I already had my thyroid test done, btw.)

So my nervous system is inexplicably overdriven, and while that did have benefits when I'm focused on learning or exploring new ideas, it eventually degenerates into destructive noise. My psych and I both agreed on that point, finally. After 10 years of getting treatment I finally found someone who'll give me an inch.

My only question is: How could someone's mind be operating at such an unsustainable rate without some other obvious defect? We have found nothing so I'm just going to say "I was just born wired like this."

I guess this is mostly positive. My rate is down to 95 (from 140) since writing this post and I'm gonna take a few mental health days with the ativan until I'm past my xanax withdrawal and then hopefully a lower dosage of ativan will be down enough to make me functional again.

I'm on beta blockers because recently the heart rate thing sent me to the hospital--the cardiologist told me the same thing. There's nothing physiologically causing this, aside from possibly overstimulated nerves. The beta blockers help reduce the effect of an adrenal response, but by themselves they are no match for my own mind screwing everything up.

Well, cheers and peace.

[gypsylee]

I went to the psychiatrist & had to be taken off one medication and be put on another. Xanax -> Ativan

I was just having too many adverse reactions to the Xanax and it was making my sleep all wonky.

Anyway, he's always insisted that I have OCD because I focus on a lot of specific things when I talk to him in his office. I do have obsessive behaviors, but we had a breakthrough and discovered the bigger issue at hand may be my nervous system is running perhaps way too fast. I'm too stimulated, and it's all coming in at too high of a threshold; ultimately I have no way of sorting through what is essentially noise or junk. (I already had my thyroid test done, btw.)

So my nervous system is inexplicably overdriven, and while that did have benefits when I'm focused on learning or exploring new ideas, it eventually degenerates into destructive noise. My psych and I both agreed on that point, finally. After 10 years of getting treatment I finally found someone who'll give me an inch.

My only question is: How could someone's mind be operating at such an unsustainable rate without some other obvious defect? We have found nothing so I'm just going to say "I was just born wired like this."

I guess this is mostly positive. My rate is down to 95 (from 140) since writing this post and I'm gonna take a few mental health days with the ativan until I'm past my xanax withdrawal and then hopefully a lower dosage of ativan will be down enough to make me functional again.

I'm on beta blockers because recently the heart rate thing sent me to the hospital--the cardiologist told me the same thing. There's nothing physiologically causing this, aside from possibly overstimulated nerves. The beta blockers help reduce the effect of an adrenal response, but by themselves they are no match for my own mind screwing everything up.

Well, cheers and peace.

I think this is true for everyone with an anxiety disorder (the nervous system thing). This is why I like to think of anxiety as more of a physical illness and less of a mental illness. Noone ever told me this though, I worked it out based on research into why diaphragmatic breathing works so well on acute anxiety.

Xanax will give you nasty withdrawals - I found I was getting withdrawal symptoms within the same day! I've been on lots of benzos and nothing compares to Xanax for withdrawal.

Glad you feel like you've made some progress :)

Gypsy x

[willheal]

Breathing exercises and meditation are great in a pinch, but I find as soon as I quit I go right back to my default state. I wish I could get something that's a little bit more consistent. BUT it's a start! So I shouldn't downplay it so much.

I had to get my dosage of ativan upped because it needs to counteract the Xanax withdrawal. Whoo. I was only on half a milligram daily. That stuff is rough.

[NixonRulz]

You know what's kinda cool about OCD? The fact that where you almost are understanding it, the OCD can be manipulated

I get fixated on certain thoughts and things even now. But since I better understand how it works, I am able to OCD away with the things that I want to focus, ok maybe over focus on. I use it to my advantage

And what you refer to as the "noise", I let my brain know that my OCD is trying to kick in and that is not a path I want to go down right

Who knew anxiety could be so much f****g fun?

[Im-Suffering]

My only question is: How could someone's mind be operating at such an unsustainable rate - There is no such thing as 'unsustainable rate".

without some other obvious defect? - you are not defective.

We have found nothing - correct.

so I'm just going to say "I was just born wired like this."

- Yes, in the sense that if you shoot a bullet it will follow the trajectory more or less. However, perception along the way is free will - childhood conditioning will magnify the intent of the spirit, for its purpose. What choices you make are your freedom essentially coloring in experience. Should you learn from it, you will not have to repeat the lessons.



Look into that conditioning - and to the self for the landscape seen from the bullets trajectory, you see. For tendencies that if followed would lead you to discovering your life theme, and overall challenge set to overcome..know thyself..your answers are in your conscious thought patterns as to why you attract the chatter (subject matter or noise in your terms) that you do. Take responsibility

By the law of attraction do you get what you want, and what you don't want. Always and forever more of it unto the self. Including thoughts.

It is the law, no exceptions.



You are both your best friend, and worst enemy.

[jessed03]

You are both your best friend, and worst enemy.

A quick question unrelated to the OP's: how does the whole psychic thing work? Can you use it to track somebody down?

[willheal]

An update: they are prescribing me higher dosages of ativan and beta blocker to get me more mentally stable. You should've seen my EKG, they might as well have just put the chest plugs right into the damn outlet.